Super Mario Bros.

1. I think they missed the boat on the border, here. They had the whole concept of fire flowers, mushrooms, and happy invincible stars dropped in their lap, and they didn't use it. Instead, we get what appears to be the world's ugliest squad of police detectives. With shoulder spikes. I like that they're wearing ties.

2. "Ilsa, I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that. Now, now... Here's looking at you kid."

3. Apparently, nobody had the guts to tell the movie poster designer that his lifelong dream of being a hairdresser didn't really belong on everything he drew.

4. Dennis Hopper IS Billy Idol. It's a nice day for a white wedding when you hear that rebel yell.

5. Thwomp.

6. This little detail probably tanked the movie single-handedly. "Mommy, can I go see Super Mario Bros.?" [Mom looks at the poster] "Tattoos? Forget about it, kiddo!"

7. I'd like to think that Mario here has just conked himself on his temple with the wrench, and he's slowly listing backwards. He certainly doesn't seem to be mastering his pose, at the very least.

8. John Leguizamo, forever known as "that guy with the plunger". Don't knock it, it gets him dates.

9. Nike did experiment with a new version of moon boots back in the early 90's. One little kid wore these and sunk ten feet into the snow. He was never seen again.