Mutant Reviewers from Hell do
“Great Balls of Fire!”

1986 PG / War Action Directed by: Tony Scott Starring: Tom Cruise, Kelly McGillis, Val Kilmer

Tagline

Up there with the best of the best.

Summary Capsule

Rule-breaking fighter pilot trains with the best at the Navy’s top fighter school while wooing one of his instructors.

Mutant Meter

Movie Store [proceeds go toward monthly MRFH upkeep]

Amazon.com: DVD | Amazon.com: Soundtrack

Rich's Rating: This is Ghostrider requesting a fly-by…
Rich's Review: If there’s one lesson any person can take away from watching Top Gun, it’s this: That any job, no matter what it is, can be made at least 10 times cooler with the addition of punchy codenames, custom painted helmets, and a seemingly endless amount of high-fives. Seriously; I don’t care if you’re a multi-millionaire stockbroker or you work in McDonalds -- your job could only get cooler if, instead of a polite nod and a “Good Morning, Mrs Smith” when you get to work, you walk in and high five your manager, and say “What’s up, ‘Iceman’?”.

"I’m not saying that women won’t enjoy Top Gun, but seriously, the Japanese translation of the film's title might as well be 'Super Macho Plane Adventure'."

I’ve even tried to get this policy implemented here in the Mutant Offices, but the rest of the staff seem reluctant to play along. Absolutely none of them will refer to me by my chosen codename of “SexMachine”; and there have been some complaints about my custom-painted helmet as well. Some people just don’t know a good thing when they see one.

All this garbage is my way of telling you that Top Gun is one of the most spine-bendingly cool films ever to come out of the 80’s by virtue of the fact that everyone has a codename, a custom painted helmet, and that all the characters high-five each other in every single scene of the film unless they are physically restrained in some way, like being strapped into a multi-million dollar F-14C. The sheer amount of testosterone contained in this film actually medically qualifies it as hormone therapy. I occupies a position on the Great Gender Spectrum of Film which is the complete opposite to Waiting to Exhale. It’s the kind of film that you feel should immediately be followed by a violent sporting event of some kind, barbeque ribs and a six-pack of beer.

That’s not to say there isn’t something for the fairer sex in this film: as long as they like aeroplanes, motorcycles, and guys with their shirts off. I think it’s safe to say that the target audience for this film isn’t really the lady filmgoing audience. I’m not saying that women won’t enjoy Top Gun, but seriously, the Japanese translation of the film's title might as well be “Super Macho Plane Adventure”. Also, when I mentioned to my Ma that this was the film I was planning on reviewing next (Hi ma!), she informed me that it was her "least favourite film of all time", for those of you interested in pointless movie trivia about my family.

While I feel morally obligated to give some kind of plot outline in what is ostensibly meant to be a movie review rather than me just waxing lyrical about how cool Top Gun is, I’m also fairly convinced that it’s the following paragraph will be the most redundant collection of words on the Internet (and it’s up against some stiff competition) as absolutely everyone who is remotely interested in seeing Top Gun has had several decades to get it watched. Anyway, for the sake of completeness, here it is.

Pete “Maverick” Mitchell (Tom Cruise) and his sidekick Nick “Doctor 'Goose' Green” Bradshaw (Anthony Edwards) go to the US Navy’s top fighter school where they fly around a lot, high five each other a lot, and get into other wacky capers. Maverick also falls for one of his instructors (Kelly McGillis) and other things happen involving Maverick’s dead father and some Russians.

Seriously, the plot to Top Gun is so flimsy that I can’t actually write about it in any more concrete terms than that -- but who cares when the paper thin plot is actually a one way ticket to Machoville, USA? Not I.

It’s almost impossible to pigeonhole Top Gun -- it’s not really an action movie, it’s not really a love story. I suppose you could classify it in the catch all ‘Drama’ section, but that might confuse people into thinking it actually has some substance when it’s next to Dead Man Walking on the Blockbuster shelves. Top Gun occupies its own little cinematic niche shared only with terrible 80’s kiddie fighter plane movie Iron Eagle and its infinite spawn of straight to video sequels.

But I will say this about Top Gun -- even though I’ve seen it too many times, even though I an quote whole swatches of dialogue at the drop of a hat, its enduring attraction for me is that it still gives me a weird adrenalin rush every time I watch it. There must be something in there that latched onto my 11 year old brain the first time I saw it and is still there, 16 years later.

So, there it is; while it may be tragically flawed, have a paper thin plot with holes you could fly an F-5 (complete with Russian Star) through and be more cheesy than an Edam Factory, there’s something about the naked and unashamed military pep rally feel to it that makes Top Gun an iconic 80’s movie for me. Sure, it may be horribly dated; and yes, I know that they keep using the same loop of film for some of the aerial sequences; but all that is meaningless. Top Gun isn’t about anything except high fives, cool codenames, and custom painted helmets; and try as I might, I can’t find anything wrong with that.

Great balls of fire.

Sue's Rating: That’s a negative, Ghostrider. The pattern is full.
Sue's Review: It is entirely possible that Top Gun played a fundamental role in turning me into the inveterate (not to be confused with invertebrate) movie lover you all know and love today. Not love? Like? Tolerate? No? Oh. Oh, I see. Well, I'll just go stand in the corner then and try to disappear as I slowly wither away like an untended rose in the garden of life. Don't cry for me, Argentina.

"All I can say is, woe betide anyone who blunders into my way if I'm listening to "Danger Zone" while driving down the Interstate. I mean that."

*Pause while our intrepid movie reviewer stares suspiciously into her coffee cup. Hmmm... this better not be one of Kyle’s ‘special blends’.*

Just to get the inevitable personal history out of the way, I saw Top Gun for the first time while on a rare day off from an eight-week stint of working at summer camp waaaay back in 1986. I think it stuck with me as long as it has because other methods of entertainment at camp, aside from jolly sing-a-longs and having to take deliberate pratfalls to amuse the kiddies, were sadly lacking. In the weeks that followed my first Top Gun experience, I had a LOT of time to ponder, remember, analyze and wonder where I might find a poster of Whip Hubley for my bedroom wall... and also to wonder what sort of person wants to be called "Whip"? When I had the chance, I saw Top Gun again. And again. All I can say is, woe betide anyone who blunders into my way if I'm listening to "Danger Zone" while driving down the Interstate. I mean that.

Top Gun is very much a product of the eighties. Its ingredient list includes all the staples: frat-boyish hijinks, gut wrenching pathos, rocking soundtrack, Cold War mindset, on-screen nookie-frenetic chemistry and the not to be forgotten buff-ariffic volleyball scene. (Incidentally, the volleyball actually had NO justification from a plot perspective, but for once the snotty writer in me is going to completely overlook that, because the seventeen year old I used to be wouldn't hesitate to remind me exactly where the VCR tape wore out first.) Top Gun might not be a highwater point for artistic merit, but that was never its intention.

Honestly, it's a sexy movie. The guys are sexy, Kelly McGillis is (according to sources) sexy, uniforms are sexy, motorcycles and fighter jets are sexy, karaoke is sexy — or at least it was before it became karaoke, afterburners are definitely sexy, flybys are sexy, and characters who display irreverence/machismo/fighting skill/pearly white smiles and deep vulnerability are so sexy that Tom Cruise made his entire career out of playing them. At least until he lost his marbles and started tap dancing on Oprah's couch and stuff.

In short, Top Gun is not a deep thinking introspective cinematic opus, but it's fun, fast paced, action packed and has lots of cute guys in it. (Even Michael Ironside was cute in a killing fluffy bunnies with his malevolent stare kind of way.) It entertains without overtaxing anyone's intellect. How cool is that?

Kiss and make up "Hey, get off the road, ya hoser!" He even wears this getup to bed

Didja Notice? [some sources: IMDb]

• How pretty the aerial photography is?
• The wonderful 80’s soundtrack, including the great ‘Take My Breath Away’ by Berlin, and all time classic ‘Danger Zone’.
• The very first instance of US Kareoke in film?
• The aircraft used are not "MiG-28"s but disguised F-5 Tiger IIs (Mig 28's are fictional aircraft).
• During the final furball, Stinger orders, "Ready Willard and Simkin on cats 3 and 4" - a reference to dogfight choreographer "Rat" Willard and casting director Marge Simkin.
• In several locker scenes, one of the lockers is labeled as belonging to "TEX". This is the call sign for one of the top gun instructors and Mig pilots that worked on the film, Lt. William 'Tex' Spence.
• The love scene between Tom Cruise and Kelly McGillis was filmed after initial test screenings. Moviegoers complained that there was no love scene, so the company obliged. McGillis, however, had already dyed her hair darker for her next film. This is why the scene is tinted blue.
• The F-14 didn't have a C class. For some odd reason, the C refit was scrapped in favor of the two classes: F-14B Bombcat and F-14D Super Tomcat. Also, in 1986 (Top Gun's year), the F-14 was still in the A class, and not the A+ or B class which came in 1989. [thanks rettmikhal!]

Is It Worth Staying Through End Credits?

There’s nothing really to see there, but sitting and watching them will help to calm the feeling that you should be eating raw meat and beating your chest.

Intermission! [some sources: IMDb]

Val Kilmer did not want to be in this film, but was forced to by contractual obligations.

Matthew Modine was originally selected to play Maverick but he turned the part down.

Anthony Edwards, Michael Ironside, and Rick Rossovich all went on to roles in the ER TV series. Edwards: Dr. Mark Green, Ironside: Dr. William "Wild Willy" Swift, Rossovich: Dr. John "Tag" Taglieri

Bryan Adams was asked to allow his song "Only the Strong Survive" on the soundtrack, but he refused because he felt that the film glorified war.

Charlie's "older man" date at the oak club was actually a teacher at Top Gun at the time. He was the consultant on the film.

The piano scene and the final bar/jukebox scene were shot in a San Diego restaurant called Kansas City BBQ, at the corner of Kettner Blvd and W. Harbor Drive. The restaurant now houses many props and memorabilia from the film, including the jukebox and Maverick's flight helmet sits behind the bar in a locked display case.

The Scene where Maverick follows Charlie into the Bathroom was filmed at the Headquarters Building at Recruit Training Command San Diego.

Stunt pilot Art Scholl died when his plane crashed on September 16, 1985 while he was performing the "flat spin" shown in the movie.

Director Tony Scott wrote a quick check for $25,000 to the commander of the aircraft carrier in order to capture one vital external shot.

Right before the film started production, the one of the producers announced that they wanted to use the Bruce Springsteen song "Born in the USA" but attempts to secure the song were unsuccessful.

Groovy Quotes

Maverick: There they are Hollywood, three o’clock low - I don’t think they see us yet…
Viper: Good morning gentlemen; the temperature is a hundred and ten degrees…
Wolfman: Holy s**t, it’s Viper!
Goose: Viper’s up here? Great… Holy s**t.
Maverick: Yeah, he’s probably saying “Holy s**t, it’s Maverick and Goose”.
Goose: Yeah, I’m sure that’s what he’s saying…

Maverick: Any of you boys seen an aircraft carrier around here?

Stinger: Maverick, you just did and incredibly brave thing. What you should have done was land your plane! you don't own that plane, the tax payers do! Son, your ego is writing checks your body can't cash. You've been busted, you've lost your qualifications as section leader three times, put in hack twice by me, with a history of high speed passes over five air control towers, and one admiral's daughter!
Goose: Penny Benjamin?
[Maverick shrugs]

Goose: The defence department regrets to inform you that your sons are dead because they were stupid… great balls of fire.

Maverick: This is what I call a target rich environment.
Goose: You live your life between your legs Mav.
Maverick: Goose, even you could get laid in a place like this.
Goose: Hell, I'd be happy to just find a girl that would talk dirty to me.

[Flying above MiG upside down]
Goose: Is this your idea of fun, Mav?

Maverick: We happened to see a MiG 28 do a 4g negative dive.
Charlie: Where did you see this?
Maverick: Uh, that's classified.
Charlie: It's what?
Maverick: It's classified. I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.

Slider: Goose who's butt did you kiss to get in here anyway?
Goose: The list is long, but distinguished.
Slider: Yeah, well so is my Johnson.

Maverick: She's lost that loving feeling.
Goose: No, no she hasn't.
Maverick: Oh, yes she has.
Goose: I hate it when she does that.

Maverick: I feel the need...
Maverick, Goose: ...the need for speed!

Iceman: You can be my wingman any time.

Charlie: I'll have what he's having. Hemlock is it?
Maverick: Ice water.

If you liked this movie, try these:

• Iron Eagle
• Ooh, Navy SEALS!
• Hot Shots!