Mutant Reviewers from Hell do "Speed"

Mutant Reviewers from Hell do

Speed

"Pop quiz, hot shot!"

Summary Capsule

Cop foils madman's plan to blow up a bus by making it go somewhat-fast.

reviews

Justin's Rating: Heh, a bus going 55 in Detroit would be smooshed FLAT by the morning commute here!
Justin's Review: Speed means you're going really fast. Or you're on drugs. Or you're trapped in a bizarre universe where Keanu Reeves is intelligent, witty and capable of stringing together more than three words that communicate more than, "Whoa."

I recently bought the Five Star Collection edition of Speed. It looked very important, five stars and all, but then it got me wondering if there's a four-star collection. And just what happens to those poor damned souls condemned to the one-star collection, like Just One Of The Guys or Meet Joe Black. As there are many circular levels in Hell, so there are levels in movie Heaven, and Speed is the king of the mountain. Well, if you pay any attention to the packaging, at least.

"At its core, Speed is really an essay on public transportation, and all the ways that it can go horribly, horribly wrong."
Speed was a small landmark in my movie history, as it was the first R-rated film I openly went to the theaters after turning 18. Sure, nowadays five year-old teething preschoolers have all seen Hannibal, but it was a big thing in my family. Me. Justin. Out on my own. Goin' to see Keanu say a number of dirty, dirty words. I think we've come a long way from the whole tribal indian rite-of-passage experience.

What can I say about Speed that you don't already know or think for yourself? It's one of those "taken for granted" good flicks that was really popular for a year or so, then was buried under a landfill of bad ripoffs and, inexplicably, an even worse sequel than the ripoffs. Then Keanu Reeves had to come out in an action film even way more popular than Speed... and suddenly this perfectly serviceable bus story is put on the back burner. Well, take it off already! You're going to burn the pot!

At its core, Speed is really an essay on public transportation, and all the ways that it can go horribly, horribly wrong. Why mad bombers concentrate on people mass-movers like busses and subway cars when they could be putting the thumbscrews to those idiots in beemers and suvvie land tanks is a good question. Elevators are already crowded and awkward; do you really need to make one plunge forty stories just to make it worse? Busses move at three miles an hour and have the pleasant fragrance of urine; do we have to force them to go on a city-wide demolition derby just because the commute is already intolerable? Subway cars... well, those people deserve what's coming to them.

As Jack, a butch haircut of a SWAT team member, Keanu pits his wits against a terrorist bomber with a very bad grudge. Well, Jack doesn't exactly have a lot of wits, but he seems perfectly willing to jump onto and crawl under moving vehicles, so that got him hired and promoted into top billing. Jack's a bit put off that his partner is Dumber from Dumb and Dumber, but he holds his tongue -- as long as no one brings up the Point Break debacle again. Starring in a Patrick Swayze movie? What was he thinking!

Action movies like Speed have a minimum of dialogue draping its stunt-oriented skeleton. Usually, in action movies, this dialogue is fairly reactionary. Something blows up: "Holy [bad word]!" Evil guy does something evil and the good guy sees it: "I'm going to get you, you [poopy pants]!" Barely amusing sidekick goes along with Insane Hero's plan, even though it'll probably get them all killed: "I don't know why I'm doing this!" Anyway, you get the picture; it's a lot of stock phrases, an entire script worth of exclamation points. However, some movies, like Speed, actually use their dialogue to an advantage, bringing a smidge of humanity and humor to scenes between enormous slow-mo fireballs erupting. Maybe you won't appreciate this, but when Speed manages to be more nimble on its verbal toes than any James Bond flick, well, it's a charmer.

Plus, and hey, it's got Cameron from Ferris Bueller as a nerdy tourist in L.A.. "When Cameron was in Egypt's land...let my Cameron gooooooo."

What everyone was talking about when this film came out, of course, was the highly unlikely -- yet pretty cool -- bus jump. Funnily enough, this seems to be the least exciting part of the movie now. And the most ridiculous. Just watch the scene: First the bus somehow has to jump this gap in the highway that is unavoidable... even though the movie shows three separate branches that the highway splits into. Okay, well, they digitally erase a section of the highway from the other branch, too, and block off the third one. Couldn't the police have moved the barricade or something? Then, the bus gets to the gap going, tops, 70mph, and suddenly lurches up on its hind legs, like a horse rearing. I'm not exactly sure why it would have done this, seeing as how the highway didn't quickly ramp up or anything right before the gap, but suddenly the bus is doing a wheelie. And then it makes the jump, in several slow-mo cuts, and all of them show the same two second event: a bus flying through the air, quite noticeably dropping like the two-ton stone it is. But you're given another cut, and it's still in the air! And another! And another! And finally, through the miracle of editing, it makes it to the other side. Without blowing any tires, I might add (something we were educated about in Road Trip).

Still, we nitpick those we love. And Speed is still a terrific action flick that manages to still make your butt muscles clench mightily as bus number 2525 roars down the streets of L.A. at an unstoppable 50mph. It's a good workout for your rear, I say.

extras

The Scoop

[rating]
R

[year]
1994

[genre]
Action Thriller

[director]
Jan de Bont

[starring]
Keanu Reeves
Sandra Bullock
Dennis Hopper
Jeff Daniels

Movie Store!
[proceeds go toward monthly MRFH upkeep]

VHS movie
DVD movie
Soundtrack
Mutant Gear
Didja Notice? [some sources: IMDb]

Opening title sequence contains an overture of the score used in the film
Keanu just flies his car in... yahoo
Skirts, bare legs, shoes and socks on Sandra... ooh, cute
Cameron is a tourist, hehe
Is that an honest-to-God miner on the bus?
Cameron taking a picture from the bus of Jack jumping from the car is priceless
Cameron's interpreting a very bad word as "Oh, darn"
Busses are fun to wreck things with
The moment when Jack and the girl slide off the bus still gives me chills
Filmed on location on LA's 105 freeway before it was opened to the public.
The freight plane blown up at the end of the film has the company logo "Pacific Courier" painted on its side. This same logo appeared on the terrorist's van in Die Hard, and is an in-joke of production designer Jackson De Govia.
Keanu Reeves breaking the glass on the bus door in the beginning of the movie was an accident, however it was left in the final cut (in subsequent shots, you can see the door glass isn't broken)
The chain pulling the first exploding bus is clearly visible.
If the subway train's throttle control is operative, why doesn't Jack slow the train down to a minimal speed?

Is It Worth Staying Through End Credits?

No.

Intermission! [some sources: IMDb]

Speed was originally written with the intention that Jeff Bridges would play the role of Jack and Ellen DeGeneres would play the role of Annie. Degeneres was initially chosen because the role of Annie was going to be a comedic role opposite the serious role of Jack. Jack's sidekick, Harry, was originally to be played by Ed Harris and in this version was going to be revealed as the mad bomber. However, when Ed Harris opted out, and Jeff Daniels signed, the producers felt that the audience would not accept the sudden twist in character so Harry was kept as a good guy throughout and the mad bomber written as a separate character.

Script doctor Joss Whedon (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) rewrote the script uncredited

Twelve buses were used, including two which exploded; one for the freeway jump; one for high-speed scenes; and one used solely for 'under bus' shots. The bus jump scene was done twice, as the bus landed too smoothly the first time. The bridge was actually there, but erased digitally.

Official and Not-So-Official Websites

Speed Dedication Page

"What? They've started the movie already
and I'm supposed to be in it? Whoa!"

Groovy Quotes

Guy: Thanks for pushing that, Bob. The light's on, but you never really know, it might be broken.
Bob: Shut up.

Jack: Shoot the hostage.

Harry: I'm gonna go home and have some sex.
Jack: Harry, you're gonna go home and puke.
Harry: Well, that'll be fun too.

Jack: Gigantor!
Ortiz: Ortiz.

Annie: We're leaking gas?
Jack: We are now.
Annie: What, you felt like you needed another challenge or something?

Howard Payne: Jack, nothing tricky now. You know I'm on top of you! DO NOT attempt to grow a brain!

Jack: It's a game. If he gets the money he wins, if the bus blows up he wins.
Annie: What if you win?
Jack: Then tomorrow we'll play another one.
Annie: But I'm not avalible to drive tomorrow. Busy.

Howard Payne: NO! Poor people are crazy, Jack. I'm eccentric.

Swat Cop: Anything else that'll keep this elevator from falling?
Jack: Yeah. The basement.

Jack: Tell me again Harry, why did I take this job?
Harry: Oh come on, thirty more years of this, you get a tiny pension and a cheap gold watch.
Jack: Cool.

Harry: All right, pop quiz. Airport. Gunman with one hostage. He's using her for cover; he's almost to a plane. You're a hundred feet away. Jack?
Jack: Shoot the hostage.

Howard Payne: Pop quiz, hotshot. There's a bomb on a bus. Once the bus goes 50 miles an hour, the bomb is armed. If it drops below 50, it blows up. What do you do? What do you do?

Howard Payne: There will come a time, boy, when you'll wish you never met me.
Jack: Mister, I'm already there.

Stephens: I'm such a yokel. There. I said it.

Helen: Are they going to help us?
Stephens: Sure they are, they're the police. Hey, your taxes are paying their salaries. We die, they gotta take a pay cut.

Jack: Miss, can you handle this bus?
Annie: Oh sure. It's just like driving a really big Pinto.

Annie: You're not going to get mushy on me, are you?
Jack: Maybe. I might.
Annie: I hope not, 'cause you know, relationships that start under intense circumstances, they never last.

Ortiz: You're not too bright man, but ya got some big round hairy cajones.
Jack: That's very gross Ortiz.
Ortiz: Huh, can't even pay him a compliment.

Harry: You shot me, I can't believe it. They're giving you a medal for shooting me, you little prick!
Jack: Harry... you TOLD me to.

Harry: Guts'll get you so far, then they'll get you killed.

Annie: There's gum on my seat.... GUM!

Jack: We've got to do something about these hostages.
Harry: We're not gonna shoot them, are we?

DVD Review

For a 5-star collection, this isn't anything revolutionary (or requiring 2 discs, for that matter). Some interesting features on the bus jump and other special effects, promo materials and other featurettes. I listened to one of the two commentaries, the one with screenwriter Graham Yost (who now does Boomtown on TV) and producer Mark Gordon. That commentary could've been interesting if the two weren't CONSTANTLY interrupting each other's stories. It gets so freaking annoying that I began yelling at the TV, "Just let him finish the story already, you whiny child!" to whichever one was interrupting.

Soundtrack Review

The compilation album is nothing interesting, but the score to Speed (a separate album) is absolutely terrific. I heartily recommend it. I really think that this movie is an excellent example of how a well-done score can make the action seem ten times as intense. I'm listening to it now! I need to go drive a bus or something!

If you liked this movie, try these:

Die Hard

The Matrix

Speed 2: Cruise Control (just to see how bad the Speed series COULD be)

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