Mutant Reviewers from Hell do
“Hey, it's not the size of your mouth; it's what's in it that counts.”

1982 R / Slasher Horror Directed by: Amy Holden Jones Starring: Michelle Michaels, Robin Stille, Michael Villella

Tagline

The Ultimate Driller Killer Thriller

Summary Capsule

A group of “teenage” girls get together for a slumber party, and for some reason a crazy driller killer terrorizes and massacres a lot of them. For once, the title is quite relevant and informative!

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Kyle's Rating: For some reason, it’s absolutely atrocious (to me)
Kyle's Review: Slumber Party Massacre is just awesome. NOT. It’s actually one of the worst horror/slasher films I’ve ever tried to watch, and I seem to recall sitting through Evil Laugh once when it was on cable. But I can’t decide if it’s truly awful or if it just rubs me the wrong way. I mean, there are probably some people who think Halloween and Friday the 13th have no redeeming values whatsoever, and in fact get creeped out by them. There’s accounting for taste, right?

"So all nudity just goes unappreciated. What a waste!"

But yeah: I was extremely close to handing down a 0 rewatchability score. I decided it earned a 1 because I taped it for free off of a movie channel and it has the set-up for potential cheesy greatness (hence my feeling that it might totally rub someone else’s rhubarb), but since I get to pick the numbers I’d get a little payback on this movie.

Because I felt, like, dirty and uneasy after watching this movie. For a whole variety of reasons, including the weird bug-eyed killer (whose identity is never really a mystery, though you don't get a clear look at him until later in the film), a do-anything phallic drill as his main weapon, and never being entirely sure who the main character is.

And for a film that, like its two sequels, has the claim to fame that it was written and directed by women (which automatically gives it a “feminist” tag, despite all contrary evidence [see: Intermission below]), sure seems to have a lot of misogynist undertones; despite my reputation, that really isn’t what I enjoy seeing. It starts promisingly, with nudity from potential lead girl #1, and reaches an astonishing zenith in the first fifteen minutes with a girls’ locker room scene where the camera not only carefully centers each nude girl in the frame but also pans down to show off each girl’s soapy behind. After the intial “this is awesome!” it just gets tedious. Plus, things are so brutal and lacking any kind of charm or passion (which has saved numerous slasher films before) that there’s no fun or excitement here. So all nudity just goes unappreciated. What a waste!

It’s stripped and lean: a group of high school girls are having a party after basketball practice, unaware that an escaped murderer has already killed in their vicinity and is now fixated on their little get-together. The girls’ slumber party is threatened by weird neighbors, no pizza, horny boys... it’s already under social siege, so when this wacko shows up with his battery-operated drill o’ death, it’s a downright massacre! See what I did there? Awesome.

This might be your kind of slasher movie. The girls could be charming to you (they weren’t to me), the humor might be dry and witty (I didn’t find it to be so), and the gore and thrills might be fabulously exciting to you (I didn’t think so). This was actually one time, maybe the first time, where I didn’t get the charm of a film that somewhere a small contingent of critics and fans are rabid over. Usually I’m like “Oh, that was great! Why didn’t I see that before?” But this time: no, not at all. Very, very mean-spirited and lame. I’m glad I finally got it out of my system, because I had been reading and wondering about it for years. If you’ve found my taste in slashers to be similar to yours in the past, however, let me tell you: it’s just not worth it.

"So, I got this here ladder. And I thought later, maybe, if you weren't doing anything, we could go climb something. With this here ladder." "Lady, move out of the way so I can finish your drywall!" Ugh. Fleshy leftovers. Pass.

Didja Notice? [some sources: IMDb]

• In the background when Kim is hurling ornaments at the killer in Trish's bedroom, you can see the book Rubyfruit Jungle, by feminist writer Rita May Brown, writer of the film.
• The notice board when the killer is drilling the door through to get to Linda (Brinke Stevens), you can see a deliberate joke - a sign reads "Join the Drill Team!", in reference to the killer.

Is It Worth Staying Through End Credits?

Nooooooo! Try to leave well before they roll. Unless you dig it, I guess.

Intermission!

Rita Mae Brown wrote a screenplay for a parody of teen/slasher flicks and titled it "Sleepless Nights". However, when she submitted it to the producers, they filmed it as if it weren't a parody and retitled it "Slumber Party Massacre". As a result, the movie displays a lot more humor, both intended and unintended, than others of this genre.

Groovy Quotes

Trish: Diane! You're a snob!
Diane: Hey, only the best people are, you know?

Trish: Look, what do you have against Valerie, anyway?
Diane: Nothing. She drinks too much milk.

Jackie: What do all the guys see in Diane anyway?
Trish: She's beautiful.
Jackie: I think she's got a big mouth.
Kimberly: Hey, it's not the size of your mouth; it's what's in it that counts.
Trish: What I don't see is what she sees in John Minor.
Kimberly: Maybe what we don't see.
Trish: Hey, it's not how big it is, remember?
Jackie, Kimberly: It's what's in it that counts!

Diane: Y'know, I think your t*ts are getting bigger.
Various Girls: MINE?

Valerie: [to Courtney] It's too bad Mom and Dad didn't get a divorce before YOU were born.
Courtney: I love you too.

Jeff: [watching Kim change] I don't think I've been giving Kim the attention she deserves.

Jackie: [reading Diane's horoscope] "Your power with the opposite sex will get you ahead."
Diane: Not too bad.
Jackie: Depends on whose head.

[the girls are covering up the pizza guy's dead body]
Kimberly: He's dead all right. So cold.
Jackie: Is the pizza? [Jackie takes a slice of pizza] Well life goes on after all and eating makes me feel best when I feel bad and boy do I feel bad. [she takes a bite of the pizza] I feel better already. Really, I do.

Soundtrack Review

Bleh. Didn’t even notice. Nothing great. Don’t buy the soundtrack, don’t see the movie. Simple!

If you liked this movie, try these:

• The Doom Generation
• Friday the 13th Part 4: The Final Chapter
• The Dorm That Dripped Blood