Justin's Rating: Boo. Hoo.
Justin's Review:In the world of comedy/parodies, you have your brand name Zuckers/Abraham/Zuckers classic films (Airplane!, Top Secret!, Hot Shots!) and then a vast realm of generics looking for quick success (Spy Hard, Mafia!). The Wayans brothers fall somewhere in between; they've got some genuine comedic inspiration, but their quest to go for the cheap, quick, easy jokes makes their movies seem desperate, somehow. Scary Movie is no different from their earlier endeavors (I'm Gonna Get You Sucka, for example) -- it's a heavy-handed pimping expedition to pluck the ready-for-satire field of satire-horrors. As many recent horror films are parodied (mainly Scream, but also The Blair Witch Project, I Know What You Did Last Summer, and even The Matrix), the jokes come quick and quicklyer, almost like a big weightlifter guy shouting in your face "LAUGH! LAUGH, YOU IMBECILE!"

So I did. Half-heartedly. To be fair, there are a couple pretty stinkin' funny scenes. This being a pseudo-family site, I cannot list explicit details of the sex scene, but it would have been a riot had it been edited shorter. The killer is appropriately goofy, and in a film genre that tends to make cardboard characters, he actually ends up with more of a personality than the ghostface in the Scream movies. I might also merit this film entirely upon the strength of a scene where a nonstop talking girl is stabbed to death by the entire audience of a movie theater. We movie-goers like to live vicariously through this sort of thing.

I can't really review this film properly without mentioning what really bugged me about it. I can take cheap jokes. But the Scream references were funny for about the first, oh, five minutes. Then then movie became much less a parody than a Gus Van Sant-remake of Scream itself. Exact dialogue, same mannerisms, mostly the same ending. I sincerely wished they'd focus a little more on the other horror films of our time, but Scream it was and Scream it is. The other feature that felt disturbing was the constant sex references. Now, I know it's a cardinal rule of comedy/parodies to revolve around sex. It's not like I went in wearing lily white earmuffs and came out with them soiled. But Scary Movie goes about fifteen running steps too far to feature sex, GROSS sex, about every other minute. There's a guy being stabbed with a dildo. There's more male nudity in this film than female. The Wayans must also think gay jokes are the cherry on the sundae of funny, because there's more "We're making fun of homosexuals so that you don't suspect us of being one of THEM" jokes than anything else. It gets downright creepy after a while, making us all doubt our sexual orientation (squirrels). I also felt horrible that the theater I was in was *packed* with little kids and BABIES! What sick parent brings their kids to a film like this?

So I had to enact Justin's patented "Crappy Joke Filter" in order to merely enjoy this flick. I guess I'm always a little let down by these movies because I can see the creation process being a bit like one of those Choose Your Own Adventure books, and the filmmakers making the wrong choice every time. For example:

You have a girl bathing in a tub, and she's shaving her pits. This is not seen in many movies, and is kind of funny. Do you:
• Run the joke into the ground by making her shave her cheek, neck, and finally, her tongue?
• Move on to better and more interesting bathroom products?

  You are seeking to create a parody character of the sheriff deputy Dewey from the first Scream movie. Do you:

• Create a dumb yet funny cop who plays on police officers' many foibles?
• Create a gross and creepy character whose main appeal to hilarity is that his name is Doofus?

  You have a leftover Wayans to fill a role. Do you cast him as:

• A dope-smoking, incoherent guy, since they're always funny due to the fact they laugh a lot, ask for munchies, and make bongs out of everything?
• A character that the non-stoned audience would find amusing?

You see my predicament. Hey, I'm not that uptight, and I did sorta, kinda, partially enjoy this movie (and that Anna Faris is a cutie). But every joke in this movie will be obsolete in about two weeks, if they aren't already. I cannot picture a future audience finding the "Wassup!" parody funny (if they can even remember the commercial) or care that a token member of Dawson's Creek pokes his head in the window. You watch, you decide. I'm just here as your movie-going conscience.

Kyle's Rating: good cast + movie parodies + bodily fluids = EXCELLENT!!!
Kyle's Review: As time goes on, it becomes clearer and clearer that the brilliance of the films Airplane! and Naked Gun will never be surpassed. Fortunately for all of us, that doesn’t mean people making movies are going to stop trying.

The Wayans (Keenen Ivory Wayans directed, Shawn Wayans and Marlon Wayans helped write the script) try pretty hard with the hilarious slasher spoof Scary Movie, and he largely succeeds. Though the humor is mostly lowbrow and has to pander to the lowest of low popcorn-tossing teenager moviegoers to make sure everyone enjoys it, I was very pleased and found the movie a lot funnier than I expected. QUICK TIP: when you’re going to any movie, focus on one of the worst films you’ve ever seen (Quiz Show comes to mind) and assume that the movie you’re going to will be worse. It can’t help but be good once you’ve set that limbo bar of enjoyment an inch off the ground!

If you’ve seen Scream, I Know What You Did Last Summer, The Usual Suspects and a few other recent high-profile films then you’ll get maximum amusement out of Scary Movie, but there is plenty to laugh at even if you’re going into the theater cold. It may not hold up on repeat viewings, but it’s definitely worth seeing once!

Plot-wise Scary Movie is a virtual remake of Scream with a heavy vein of IKWYDLS subplot that connects the main characters for a little mystery. But who really cares, the plot doesn’t matter! Just watch and laugh at stuff! Anna Faris (Cindy) takes the Neve Campbell and Jennifer Love Hewitt slots, and American Pie’s Shannon Elizabeth (Buffy) mocks Rose MacGowen and Sarah Michelle Gellar. There are other people in the cast, but those are the two I was really looking at. Especially Faris. She’s fantastic!

There are breast implants, jiggling cleavage, suburban drug czars, stoned-out-of-their-mind high school students, not-so-closeted homosexuals, lots of sexual humor, and a few gallons more of a certain bodily fluid than There’s Something About Mary dared show. Wayans throws in quite a few racial jokes as well, which isn’t quite PC but will have you cracking up with guilt anyway.

I could go into more detail, but try to go in without reading too much so you can enjoy everything more. I read the reviews in my local papers and pretty much knew all the big punchlines before the coming attractions. It doesn’t bother me as much as it does other people, but if I can help other people go in fresh then I will! Go see Scary Movie! It’s not quite up the spoof standard of Airplane!, but it’ll put a smile on your face that’ll last until at least dessert time. Oh, and it has an ending I wish they had worked into the real plot of Scream. Maybe you think all this toilet humor is beneath you, but when you take all of the stuff I’ve mentioned and you throw in a girls’ locker room scene, well, that’s good enough for me. And it’s good enough for you, too!

Andie's Rating: rating pending...
Andie's Review: Okay, I have to say that for movie spoofs (like the aforementioned Airplane and Hot Shots) I have to be in a certain mood to thoroughly enjoy them. If I had seen Scary Movie at the drive in as the double feature with, say, Fight Club or American Beauty I probably would've smashed the Hooch bottle I was drinking from on my car bumper and stabbed myself repeatedly with it. However, I saw Scary Movie as the double feature with Road Trip and that put me in the right mind frame to appreciate this movie.

I have to say, parts of it were pretty freakin' horrible. Personally, I thought the sex scene was disgusting. I really didn't like it. I also thought the Wassup stuff was old when my Super Bowl buddies wouldn't stop doing it during the game. I did not need to have it resurrected for me this summer.

But I choose not to focus on the bad things and instead talk about what really was funny. I loved the killer, especially when he raps with the stoners and kills them all. I loved the opening scene, even if it was a direct rip off from Scream. The whole implant thing was funny as hell. The chatty girl getting stabbed in the theater was hilarious, I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to do that to my talkative friends, even if we're just in my basement watching a movie I've seen before. I also thought Sheri O'Teri was great as Gale Hailstorm and the ending was purely inspired. As soon as I saw the mug drop to the floor and shatter, I got all aflutter because it was a Usual Suspects spoof. I also liked the sheriff showing his nudie pictures to Faris. I've loved that guy (Kurt something) since Ghostbusters 2. OH!!! and I loved when Buffy says to Cindy, "...like that time we got drunk and went down on each other." I know too many stories of good female friends have an experience like that not too fall out of my chair laughing. Strangely, when I saw this a second time with some of my sorority sisters, I was laughing just as hard and they weren't really laughing. Hmmmmmm.

Overall, a pretty funny spoof. It makes a fantastic double feature with Road Trip (another movie I need to review sometime soon) and I highly recommend it for a night of mindless-drivel fun. The funny parts pretty much make up for the gross and disgusting parts. Pretty much.

Didja Notice?
The school is called B. A. Corpse High School [thanks for the correction AllonI!]
There's a scene after the credits

The Movie Store!
Scary Movie: Soundtrack [CD]

Intermission!
This movie was originally entitled Scream If You Know What I Did Last Halloween. Ironically, Scream's original title WAS Scary Movie.

Groovy Quotes

[The killer attacks Heather, while Gail watches, recording]
Heather: Gail, help me!
Gail Hailstorm: Sorry sweetie, it's sweeps!

Dad: And if the cops come....
Cindy: If the cops come, flush your stash and I've never heard of you.
Dad: That's my girl.

If you liked this movie, try these:
Scream
I'm Gonna Get You Sucka
Airplane!

Soundtrack Review
Kyle: I barely noticed, though there is one song that the killer sings while he's stoned (just trust me) and plays over the end credits that rivals only South Park's "Uncle F**ka" in terms of pop music value combined with offensiveness and profanity. But that Anna Faris certainly is good stuff for looking like she's 16!