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 2004 PG / Teen Comedy Directed by: Starring: |
- He's out to prove he's got nothing to prove.
Summary Capsule
- A totally unlovable loser helps his only friend get elected as high school president. Also, his entire family is made up of unlovable losers, and steak and tater tots are eaten. Honest, that’s it.
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PoolMan's Rating: I could use some dynamite, all right…
PoolMan's Review: I remember quite a while ago writing my review for Clerks and saying something to the effect that it was already such a low energy flick that I couldn’t understand why it was in black and white (turns out it was for the cheaper film stock, incidentally). Well let me tell you something. If Napoleon Dynamite had been in B&W, I probably would have looked for a nearby bridge to leap from. Napoleon makes Dante look a circus clown on speed.
Napoleon Dynamite is, for mysterious and strange reasons, one of the biggest flicks to come out of 2004. An instant cult sensation, the movie follows the exploits of the titular Napoleon as he makes his slack jawed way from day to day trying to survive his equally slack jawed family (consisting of 24/7 net surfer brother Kip, borderline crazy/obsessed with 1982 Uncle Rico, and sand dune riding granny) and a high school filled with all the requisite cheerleaders and geeks. He meets a new immigrant student by the name of Pedro, and they become friends (pretty much because each is the only person who will speak to the other) as he grooms Pedro to become class president, running against Hillary Duff’s sister.
IDIOT!
At the same time, he become awkwardly romantically interested in Deb, an equally loserrific girl with an inexplicable love of ponytails on the side of her head and a poor knack for shooting glamour photography. When old granny breaks her coccyx riding dune buggies and ends up in hospital, Uncle Rico comes to stay with Kip and Napoleon, determined to eat as much steak as possible and sell knockoff Tupperware and breast enlargement herbs to housewives and teenaged girls. This all sounds very wacky and a hilarious up front, I’m sure, but in application, it’s dry as toast.
JEEZ!
My brother has been after me for MONTHS to see this, and for a while I just couldn’t understand why. It’s DULL. It’s a 90 minute-long awkward moment. Characters stare at each other, speak in monotone (saying the oddest things) and generally just… exist. Napoleon wanders from scene to scene, barely registering as awake, insulting people, lying pathologically, and hissing through his teeth whenever things don’t his way. Which is always. I was constantly wishing for a return to Rex or LaFawnduh, if only to get a character with some energy on screen.
HECK!
And yet… there’s potential. I think Napoleon Dynamite is kind of the cinematic equivalent of a Rorschach test. If you look at the ink spatter just the right way, it’ll remind you of something really funny. If you look at it another way, it’ll be a picture of your dog being hit by a bus. Depends on who you are. There were certainly hilarious moments… who knows, maybe one day I’ll watch it with my bro and it’ll be the greatest thing ever. But as it was, it was just 90 minutes of pregnant pauses and utterly bewildering characters. How can I put this politely… I think I was at a serious disadvantage by watching this movie stone cold sober.
DUH!
I mention Clerks above because I can honestly see this as the next Clerks. It’s already started to become the latest slacker-worship film. The writing is admittedly quite funny; I laughed out loud quite a few times due to the surreal nature of the whole thing. But the Groovy Quotes below almost make me laugh more as they appear on paper than to hear them from the actors’ mouths. Still, I just went for lunch with a guy who’s seen it before, and we spent half the time quoting it back and forth to each other, and I have to admit, the energy that’s not in the presentation is there in the rehashing. There’s definitely some cult legs in this puppy. Call it an acquired taste, and give it a shot, but be careful… this is a strange one.
GOSH!
Justin's Rating: I drink 1/2% milk
Justin's Review: As anyone with half a brain knows, movie nerds have as little in common with real, every day nerds as a movie cop has to do with your average traffic ticket puncher. A movie nerd makes sense in their nerdery; a real nerd often makes little or no sense to anyone but him (or her). Movie nerds tend to have just one defining trait (see Revenge of the Nerds); real nerds are coated in a rich slime of multi-layered weirdness.
It really bothered me that this movie snuck in under my radar, but I suppose that's the definition of a sleeper hit. No one I talked to in advance quite knew what this film was about, but the rumors, the whispers, the testimonials from Napoleonites all said one thing: This is one funny-as-hell movie, and you have to see it. So I did, along with ten of my youth group students. We all encountered the same thing, a theater full of people who kept laughing incredulously while throwing their hands up at the weirdness of it all. Understand me now — this is not your typical comedy. The pacing is more reminiscent of indie flicks, with an atypical plot progression, long silences and little music, and a disjointed story that doesn't seem to be about much. At first.
Our main character is Napoleon Dynamite, a guy you either was best friends with at school, or wouldn't even consider sitting at the same table with at lunchtime. With a hearty poof of red hair, drooping eyelids, a mouth permanently set in a sneer/gape position, and the puffiest boots this side of the Potomac, Napoleon's outward appearance does not inspire great confidence for a leader and a hero. That's good, 'cause he's neither of those things. Instead, he's that ultra-geeky guy in school that you see doodling horrible drawings, thinking about magical creatures, expressing himself in short bursts of uncontrolled emotion, being pushed around by the jocks, and generally living inside of his own head.
What's nearly impossible for me to describe to you is what makes Napoleon so funny. His oddity knows no bounds, yet the world he lives in seems almost to eclipse him in bizarre occurrences — his grandmother lands in the hospital due to a dirt bike accident, his 31-year-old brother Kip talks endlessly about his one internet romance, his yearning-for-past-days-of-football-glory uncle comes to live with him, and his best friend gives Silent Bob a run for his money in the quiet department.
For anyone who's undergone adolescence, Napoleon's gawkish behavior and his lack of being able to fit in with the world won't be a foreign notion. As the movie crawls through his life, we witness scene after scene of Napoleon's world, where nothing is normal and where cows get shot in the head in the presence of a busload of traumatized schoolkids. There are scenes where nothing much happens that's funny, this is true; but there are many more scenes where you'll be giggling out of astonishment, and plenty more parts where you'll just let go and laugh your head off, because it doesn't get better than this. This is exactly one of those movies where you come out of seeing it with friends and immediately begin telling each other what your favorite parts were, re-enacting scenes, and trying to mimic Napoleon's classic catchphrases (my favorite is his exasperated "GOSH!").
Although it's not a slick, high-budget production with any big name stars (save for a cameo by Deidrich Bacher of "The Drew Carey Show"), Napoleon Dynamite triumphs far above most films because it runs, full-tilt, down the path less traveled. For me, the film was summed up perfectly in a small moment at a dance, where an afro'd Napoleon, his best friend wearing a wig, and his friend's date who keeps her ponytail sprouting out the side of her head all just stand there, watching everyone else dance. The irony in the scene is that many people will think that the people dancing comfortably on the dance floor are the lucky ones, the better ones. But we know, having followed these nerds around, that their stillness is not a sad lack of acceptance by the normal world, but instead a joyful stand for all things odd and unique.
 When out on safari, always bring a snack.
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- Wow… that’s a lot of steak.
- How come Kip doesn’t bowl for his spare?
- Crystals ARE essential to time travel.
- Tetherball: sport of kings.
- When we first see the time machine, it’s set for 1982. Guess who was using it.
- Nice wig on Pedro. Very medieval.
- Tater tots are, admittedly, very tasty. Don’t know if they’re pocket snacks, per se…
- Between this and Office Space, Diedrich Bader’s certainly getting the "weird white dummy" act down pat!
- The High/Low dial on the time machine.
- Bikes to the nuts HURT.
- Watch out for Pedro’s brothers! I love the little head shake he gives the bike thief.
- Mmm… bleach-laced milk.
Is It Worth Staying Through End Credits?
The OPENING credits are where it’s at, man! All the credits are done in food or household items… it’s actually pretty funny. I hear there’s an additional five minute wedding scene between LaFawnduh and Kip after the end credits… but I really didn’t want to stick around to see it. Maybe one day. (Justin's note: The wedding scene — especially Kip's song — is much worth seeing.)
Intermission! [some sources: IMDb]
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Jon Gries (Uncle Rico) was asked to do many scenes in which he was eating steak. Gries, who is a vegetarian, would chew the steak and later spit it out. In fact, there is one scene in which you can see Gries spitting the chewed meat into his hand.
There’s been a big movement on the internet of people cashing in on "Vote For Pedro" t-shirts. They’ve been big sellers for people in the novelty shirt biz. Think of it as kind of the modern "Save Ferris".
Groovy Quotes
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Kid on Bus: What are you gonna do today, Napoleon?
Napoleon: Whatever I feel like I wanna do, gosh!
Napoleon: [about a pencil drawing] I spent like three hours shading the upper lip.
Trisha: Yeah... That's great.
Napoleon: Too bad, she said she doesn't want you here when she gets back because you've been ruining everybody's lives and eating all our steak.
Napoleon: Stay home and eat all the freakin' chips, Kip.
Kip: Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.
Napoleon: Since when, Kip? You have the worst reflexes of all time.
Uncle Rico: So what do you think?
Kip: It's pretty cool, I guess.
Uncle Rico: Ohhhh, man I wish I could go back in time. I'd take state.
Napoleon: This is pretty much the worst video ever made.
Kip: Napoleon, like anyone can even know that.
Uncle Rico: You know what, Napoleon? You can leave.
Napoleon: You guys are retarded!
Don: Hey, Napoleon. What did you do last summer again?
Napoleon: I told you! I spent it with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolverines!
Don: Did you shoot any?
Napoleon: Yes, like 50 of 'em! They kept trying to attack my cousins, what the heck would you do in a situation like that?
Don: What kind of gun did you use?
Napoleon: A freakin' 12-gauge, what do you think?
Napoleon: You know, there's like a butt-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm pretty good with a bo staff.
Napoleon: Well, I have all your equipment in my locker. You should probably come get it cause I can't fit my numchucks in there anymore.
Napoleon: [referring to Deb's milk] I see you're drinking 1%. Is that 'cause you think you're fat? 'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to.
Napoleon: Do the chickens have large talons?
Farmer: Do they have what?
Napoleon: Large talons.
Farmer: I don't understand a word you just said.
Rex: I'm Rex, founder of the Rex Kwan Do self-defense system! After one week with me in my dojo, you'll be prepared to defend yourself with the strength of a grizzly, the reflexes of a puma, and the wisdom of a man.
Uncle Rico: What about your girlfriend?
Kip: Well, things are getting pretty serious right now. I mean, we chat online for, like, two hours every day so I guess you could say things are gettin' pretty serious.
Napoleon: You know, like nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills... Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills.
Grandma: How was school?
Napoleon: The worst day of my life, what do you think?
Deb: What are you drawing?
Napoleon: A liger.
Deb: What's a liger?
Napoleon: It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... bred for its skills in magic.
Napoleon: Tina, you fat lard, come get some DINNER!... Tina, eat. Food. Eat the FOOD!
Napoleon: EAT SOME HAM!
Napoleon: I caught you a delicious bass.
Pedro: Vote for me, and all your wildest dreams will come true.
Napoleon: [sips milk] The defect in this one is bleach.
FFA Judge No. 1: [pause] That's correct.
Napoleon: Yessssssss. [sips second jar of milk] This one tastes like the cow got into an onion patch.
FFA Judge No. 1: [pause] Correct.
Napoleon: Yessssssss.
Randy: Napoleon, give me some of your tots.
Napoleon: Well, will you do me a favor then? Can you bring me my chapstick?
Kip: No, Napoleon.
Napoleon: But my lips hurt real bad!
Kip: Just borrow some from the school nurse. I know she has like five sticks in her drawer.
Napoleon: I'm not gonna use hers, you sicko!
Napoleon: Deb just called me. She pretty much hates me by now.
Pedro: Why?
Napoleon: Because my uncle Rico's an IDIOT.
Pedro: Do you have anything to give to her?
Napoleon: No. Not unless she likes fish.
Kip: [Kip's wedding song] Why do you love me? Why do you need me? Always and forever... We met in a chatroom, now our love can fully bloom... Sure the world wide web is great, but you, you make my salivate... I love technology, but not as much as you, you see... But I STILL love technology... Always and forever. Our love is like a flock of doves, flying up to heaven above... always and forever, always and forever... Why do you need me? Why do you love me? Always and forever...
Teacher: Your current event, Napoleon.
Napoleon: Last week, Japanese scientists explaced... placed explosive detonators at the bottom of Lake Loch Ness to blow Nessie out of the water. Sir Godfrey of the Nessie Alliance summoned the help of Scotland's local wizards to cast a protective spell over the lake and its local residents and all those who seek for the peaceful existence of our underwater ally.
DVD Review
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Probably the most interesting extra on the disc is the original short film, "Peluca". A noticeably younger Jon Heder (originally named Seth instead of Napoleon) and a really different sidekick (Pedro is two people!) cut to the chase a lot quicker. There’s also some Making Of and deleted scenes. Not bad, if you’re really into the flick.
Soundtrack Review
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Holy crap, so minimalist. There’s a couple of songs that really help to get the energy moving, but SO much of the movie passes in dead silence. Hooray!
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This review page was last updated on 3.7.05
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