the MUTANT vol 3 issue 4
1-3-2000
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This Week's Identify That Movie Quote:
"Everytime someone says they're happy, my ass begins to twitch"

(answer to last issue's quote: Raul, UHF)
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Yo film freaks,
 
Sigh.  The world didn't end.  You know, we had real high hopes for this
one, but someone (we're not mentioning WHO, but it rhymes with "FoolMan")
forgot to deliver the real Y2K virus around.  In any case, the Mutant
Reviewers From Hell enters its fourth glorious year, where we will
probably be bought out by Microsoft.

How was my Christmas?  Fine, but for a small case of pneumonia.
"Pneumonia in Indiana" sounds like a great title for a chick flick,
doesn't it?  Fortunately, I survived to return to Colorado and my computer
(which gave me a cold shoulder for a couple days since I ignored it for
two weeks).  Thus, the MRFH is back on track, and we have a slew of
updates for you to check out.

Reviews?  We got 'em: BRAIN DAMAGE, GALAXY QUEST, AMERICAN PIE, HONEY I
SHRUNK THE KIDS, BEAUTIFUL GIRLS, and THE GOONIES.

Features?  We got too many of 'em: Justin does DVDs (haven't figured out
this new format and why it's better than VHS?  We'll explain it for you)
and MRFH do Movie Taglines (challenge yourself - can you figure out what
movie belongs to what tagline?).  Also, last night I sat down and used my
woefully inadequate graphics ability to create a new MRFH wallpaper.  This
one is dedicated to cult films in 1999, with 13 films featured and a nice
blank spot on the left for your windows icons (see? we do think of you!).
Download it today, and die tomorrow a satisfied human.

I even got word that someone is actually creating a MRFH fan site... I'll
believe that when I see it!

The biggest scoop of the day has me all a-titter (don't imagine it).
While there won't be an Evil Dead 4 film, ASH IS COMING BACK - to the
PlayStation!  Heavy Iron Studios (staffed with people that made Parasite
Eve) is creating "Evil Dead: Ashes 2 Ashes", coming out in Halloween 2000.
The game will be following the movies, with settings like the haunted
cabin.  Best of all, Bruce Campbell himself will be providing the voice of
Ash, our chainsaw & shotgun-toting tough guy.  If you don't believe me,
you can check out the Official Bruce Campbell site, where Bruce himself
confirms this, and there are a number of production photos from the game:

http://www.bruce-campbell.com/

The fact that this game is being made, and that "Army of Darkness" limited
edition (a 2-DVD set that's so incredible I can't even describe it) was
issued, is a great testament to the power of cult fans.  We just refuse to
let films go to their graves!  

Also, a largely unconfirmed rumor is that John Hughes is creating a remake
of "The Breakfast Club", or a sequel.  More on this if we hear anything.

Finally, there has been a little talk around MRFH that yours truely has
been ragging on Canada too much.  Let me assure you, I am an equal
opportunity insulter.  We here at MRFH have not singled out our Northern
Neighbor for special treatment, possibly because PoolMan would kick our
collective butts.  Canada is just a great target for jokes, sometimes.
But there have been a number of terrific things that have come from
Canada, including:

1. Mike Meyers

So I hope this ends any bad feelings between Canadian web surfers (if the
beavers haven't chopped down the phone poles, that is) and MRFH.  We love
you guys.  America is a retched septic tank of dispair.  We would all love
to come up there and live in that "Tundra Paradise" we so often hear
about.  Fin.

Until next time, keep your new years resolutions, and mine as well.
Head Mutant Justin