12-9-99
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This Week's Identify That Movie Quote:
"Badgers?  We don't need no stinkin' badgers!"

(answer to last week's quote: Jack Nichelson, Mars Attacks!)

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Hey you Christmas Freaks!

Here at the offices of MRFH, we're stringing up the tinsel and getting
ready to close down for the holidays.  Our staff Christmas party was a
wild affair, with Kyle xeroxing his buttocks and mailing them to every
movie critic in America, PoolMan singing off-key to "Deck The Halls", Ted
passed out in the can, and Andie standing under the mistletoe for pretty
much most of the night.  After the cops released us from lock-up, we vowed
to make our New Years resolutions to be as virtuous and upright as
possible.  From the scribblings on Dunkin' Donuts napkins, here is a
compiled list:

1. We will stop using the MRFH as a front for our illegal gambling casino.
2. We shall not review any more movies with dismembered, possessed hands
3. Justin will get married OR put himself up for auction.
4. The Mutant Reviewers From Hell will become the most popular internet
movie review site, prompting the President to invite us over for a slumber
party and a viewing of "The Monica Lewinsky Story"

True Story: Tonight, your faithful Head Mutant Justin was interviewed via
phone on a Miami talk radio program called "Movie Meyhem Magazine".  The
show is on an AM station in Miami, and broadcasts Thursday nights at 10pm
EST.  They contacted me primarily about my PCU web page (which the staff
loved - the movie and the page), but we got to chat about my interest in
cult movies, including Mallrats, Hudson Hawk, and UHF.  I threw in a
healthy plug for MRFH, of course.  I guess this goes to show that the web
can bring a very weak sort of fame.  But fame nonetheless.  They're
sending me a copy of the show, and if I'm able to digitize part of it, I
will do so.

Whilst page updates might be halted for a few weeks, we do have a
smorgasboard of schtick for you to feast upon.  New reviews include CUBE,
IDLE HANDS, RE-ANIMATOR (featured review), GHOSTBUSTERS, GHOSTBUSTERS 2,
AMERICAN PIE, CLUE, EMPIRE RECORDS, SEARCHING FOR BOBBY FISCHER, ARMY OF
DARKNESS, DARKMAN, and IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS.

Also, I hefted my mighty ego to pick the best 100 movies of the past
millenium.  You might not agree with me; I'm not totally sure *I* agree
with me.  But it's there: JUSTIN DOES 2000 YEARS OF MOVIES.

I'm off to go skiing in the Rockies for the weekend, then spend two weeks
in the very un-Rocky state of Indiana.  Please have a fun, safe, and snowy
holiday season (for those of you in southern areas, we will be glad to
ship you some of our snow for free).  Thanks for making 1999 a great year
for the Mutant Reviewers From Hell!

...and if the world doesn't end, we'll be back in 2000...

Head Mutant Justin