I’ve come to the realization recently that I’ve lost any desire to be consumed by the surface world of all-things-Hollywood. This was terrifying at first, but now I’m starting to revel in it. I’m frustrated as hell with the state of cinema, and I’m not going to take it anymore! Heh.
I know what you’re thinking. “Kyle, you’re an idiot. We never cared about that stuff to begin with.” If you can say that and mean it, that’s pretty cool. I don’t envy you, unless you’ve got rock hard abs, but I’m glad you’re well-adjusted. I got involved. Not too much, but I read about movies and followed the work of favorite actors and actually watched the Academy Awards. I didn’t even flip channels when the lifetime achievement award was given out, in all the recipient’s rambling octogenarian splendor. If I was bored at the mall or I went food shopping with my parents, I’d read all the entertainment magazines, and once I had my own internet access I followed all the big film-related sites and talked about that stuff with my friends. I don’t think I was quite at the level of “pretentious film student/Hollywood toady-type,” but I talked about it a lot more than I had to.
You can do it with music or books or whatever, but movies are the great equalizer because they give you everything: sounds, plots, images, everything but touch. But with books and music, you have to provide your own perceptions. Try having a movie-to-music conversation sometime with friends. It’s fun!
Friend: Ah, yes, it’s very similar to that one song by Alexisonfire. You: How do you mean? Friend: I don’t know. You: I hate you. See? It’s fun. My point is that I just don’t care about all the intricacies of the world of movies anymore. I don’t care about six degrees of Kevin Bacon, I don’t care about pointing out a futuristic homage to Rocky II in an upcoming film, I don’t care who wins Best Supporting Actress in 2005, 2006, or 2007. That may sound negative. It’s really not! It’s actually a lot of fun, and I highly encourage you to at least take a break from all the intense attention you pay to your chosen cinematic idols and crushes (or whatever). It’s refreshing, and you might relearn why you got so into movies in the first place: because they’re fun, entertaining, and potentially life-altering.
Which isn’t to say you’re bad, or a certain movie is bad, or paying close attention to Hollywood’s inner workings even though you’re a dental assistant in Ohio is bad. Nothing is bad, everything you do that doesn’t hurt anybody else is fine, and black is the most slimming color. I’m just re-evaluating my priorities, and I just happen to have a pulpit like this one available to comment from (I’m just lucky, I guess). I started out today only wanting to point out that award shows are so stupid to me because I can’t think of a single instance where a movie winning an award actually changed my opinion of it. If anything, it would make me more frustrated when I had seen some horrible movie and then I watched it pick up awards and accolades when a hugely more deserving film got ignored because it was only good, not flashy in an easily-promoted way. None of this is to say that if Colin Farrell or Samaire Armstrong should be nominated for some future role, I wouldn’t root for them. I’d buy tee-shirts and stage rallies to drum up support! I’m just tired of stupid publicity, stupid pushes for indecency laws, stupid outrages over idiotic instances of bad taste no sane person cares about, and stupid end products disappointing me when I was anticipating a modern class after following a film’s production. But now I’m free! I doubt it will last, but man oh man does it feel great. I go the theaters, buy a ticket for something that sounds good, and just enjoy the experience of seeing a movie. If it’s bad, it’s bad. If it’s good, it’s good. No worries. Is this premature onset of nihilism? Perhaps. Or maybe I’m just now in a position that instead of just saying “if I made a movie it would be ten times better than that” I can actually do it. I’ve won the victory over myself. I love Hollywood. |
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