Justin's Rating: I have my atomic firebreath after eating Taco Bell's Chili Cheese Burritos!
Justin's Review: The complete irony of this American version is well-known by now. Hollywood, looking for any and all opportunities to cash in on the Next Big Thing involving Recycled Shows and Movies, bought the rights to remake the Japanese Godzilla franchise here in the U.S. Now, the Japanese Godzilla movies are nothing short of incredibly infamous for rampant destruction, rubber monster suits, bad dubbing and general cheesiness. If you love this style (and hey, who doesn't?), these movies can fill a quintessential void in our hearts; namely, being four years old and wanting to stomp on everything.

Yet this "reimagining" takes an awful turn as we see the results of decisions by committee. They try, hard, to give Godzilla logical science backing him (or her) up, but then shoot themselves in the collective foot multiple times over during the course of the film by not following their own line of reasoning. They hire big name actors (sorta) to fill in roles that amount to "Look up and point and yell something" characters. It's very clear they couldn't decide whether to play it straight - action, scifi, carnage - or drum up the camp, and the mix is positively mind-boggling in its failure. Worse of all, the plot seems dizzy and incoherant, like your father on Friday night (ba-dum). Hence why the film's slogan "Size Does Matter" was quickly parodied into numerous t-shirts spouting "Plot Does Matter".

Godzilla, cranky lizard that he (or she... doesn't this sound like that Life of Brian sketch?) is, is born from nuclear testing in the South Pacific. Naturally, he makes a beeline for (where else?) New York City:

Filmaker: Okay, we need Godzilla to trash a highly recognizable American city... so let's go New York.
Intern: [bringing in a map] But sir, there aren't many direct routes from the South Pacific to the eastern seaboa...
Filmaker: You're fired.

Both Japanese and American Godzilla films are movies you'll make fun of, hopefully with friends. The difference is, the Japanese movies are funny in their intentional goofy selves, while the American version is funny in just how spectacularly bad a big-budget disaster can be.

The Scoop 1998 Rated PG-13 SciFi Monster Director Roland Emmerich Starring Matthew Broderick Jean Reno Hank Azaria Harry Shearer

Didja Notice?

• The number of the cab used in the chase at the end of the movie is "MN 44." Moon 44 is the title of an earlier film that was directed by Roland Emmerich and in which Dean Devlin appeared.
• The extra killed in his car when Godzilla first arrives in Manahttan was cast as a look-alike for J.D. Lees, editor of G-Fan magazine, because he cast disparaging remarks about the information that leaked out about the film prior to its release.
• Elevator music in a scene with Matthew Broderick is "Danke Schoen," which Broderick lip-synchs in a memorable scene from Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
• A small statue of an alien from Independence Day (also directed by Roland Emmerich) is visible in the broadcast booth at Madison Square Garden.
• The television station call letters, WIDF, are a reference to the film Independence Day (alias ID4)
• Before Hank Azaria's character runs atop cars to get footage of Godzilla, he looks up and says "Aw Jeez," using the voice of his character Moe on The Simpsons.
• Godzilla's footsteps make cars bounce, but nearby pedestrians are unaffected.
• The New York City TV station that most of the main characters work for is "KIDF." All radio and TV station call letters east of the Mississippi begin with a "W" (with a few exceptions, but none in New York). Those west of the Mississippi have a "K."
• When Dr. Niko Tatopoulos enters the elevator escaping the baby zillas he rapidly pushes the open elevator door button rather then the close button.
• When Godzilla chases the helicopters in mid-town Manhattan, clearly there is nothing wrong with them, as they maneuver easily around tight corners. It is also clear that they are trying to escape from Godzilla and not attack him, which they could have done much more easily by flying up. There is no indication in the movie that Godzilla can jump or fly.

Is It Worth Staying Through End Credits?
At the end we see an egg somewhere in New York hatching into a baby Godzilla, leaving an opening for a second movie. God forbid.

The Movie Store!

• Godzilla: Movie [VHS]
• Godzilla: Movie [DVD]
• Godzilla: Soundtrack [CD]

Intermission!
A tornado disrupted filming in Jersey City on May 6, 1997. The film crew managed to get some footage of the disaster filmed.

STATS: Enough lumber was used for the sets to build 50 homes. Over 1,000 4'x8'x16' Styrofoam blocks were used to build portions of the sets, including the subway tunnels. 35 tons of steel were used to build the sets. There was enough paint used on the film to paint the entire Golden Gate Bridge. 2.4 million gallons, or 32,000 cubic feet, of water was used to create rain for the film. Enough non-toxic smoke was created on the film to completely fill the Los Angeles Coliseum 24 hours a day for one week. There were a total of 16 different cabs used to create the entire cab sequence. 2,000 foam fish were made to create the fish pile. Over 1,000 soft architectural pieces were created for falling debris. 20 "car thumpers" wer built to lift cars on the street as Godzilla walked.

Official and Not-So-Official Websites

• Barry's Temple of Godzilla

I will smash my critics!

Groovy Quotes

Lucy: Caiman is dirt. To him, you're just a pair of breasts that talk.
Animal: Well, there's an image.

Dr. Niko Tatopoulus: This thing is much too big to be some lost dinosaur.

Colonel Hicks: We didn't accomplish anything.
Dr. Niko Tatopoulus: No, we fed him.

Sergeant O'Neal: We need bigger guns.

Audrey Timmonds: Wait, I don't get it... If he's the first of his kind, how can he be pregnant? Doesn't he need a mate?
Dr. Niko Tatopoulos: Not if he reproduces asexually.
Audrey Timmonds: Where's the fun in that?

If you liked this movie, try these:

• Godzilla 2000
• Independance Day
• Armageddon

Feedback

• e-mail Mutant HQ
• Mutant Café message forum