Justin's Rating: Justin Olivetti, Grove City College Inmate #940015
Justin's Review: Not too many people know this, but when Christopher Lambert was just a baby, he suffered a severe trauma. His babysitter placed him in front of the TV, which was playing a Jerry Lewis marathon, and left him there for hours. After the screaming ended, young Lambert vowed that he would never emote for the rest of his life. No facial muscles were developed, no emotion leaked into his tone from then on. This story courtesy of the Alternate History Channel, where the Past Is Made Up As We Go Along.

There is some sort of perverse enjoyment in watching one of the members of the Frozen Actors Guild (other charter members include Steven Segal and Jean-Claude Grand Am). For starters, you have plenty of time to repeat everything the actor says in a fun, lower tone of voice:

CHRISTOPHER LAMBERT: There can... be only... one.
YOU: Mooga moooga... one.

Fortress is essentially a prison movie set in a prison. With Christopher Lambert. Naturally, the typical jail rules apply, even in one set in the future:

1. The warden is a big meanie, and particularly hates our hero.
2. Our hero has to prove he's tough stuff by beating up some sort of prison bully (carving a hole in said bully is a bonus) and earning the respect of the rest of the prison population.
3. All prisons have more torture devices than the Spanish Inquisition.
4. There's been no way to break out... before now. All it takes is for our hero, three minutes into his prison term, to muse that "there's got to be a way out of here".
5. Because our hero was framed and inprisoned unfairly, it's perfectly okay for him to kill with abandon to escape.

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Fortress: Movie [VHS]
Fortress: Movie [DVD]

If you liked this movie, try these:
Highlander
Fortress 2
Judge Dredd