Mutant Reviewers from Hell do
"Searching for a boy in high school is like searching for meaning in a Pauly Shore movie."

1995 PG-13 / Teen Comedy Directed by: Amy Heckerling Starring: Alicia Silverstone, Paul Rudd, Brittany Murphy

Tagline

Sex. Clothes. Popularity. Whatever.

Summary Capsule

Ditzy L.A. chick champions the cause of fashion, love, school survival, and trite phrases

Mutant Meter

Movie Store [proceeds go toward monthly MRFH upkeep]

Amazon.com: DVD | Amazon.com: Soundtrack

Justin's Rating: Why don't they sell fashion computers to us clueless bachelors?
Justin's Review: Clueless outright triple-dog-dares you to hate and mock it. It has all the elements that we've come to despise in movies over the years, really. There's a blonde whose main worldview is wrapped up around clothing and sucking up her way through high school. She's in the ultra-elite crowd that typically make up the antagonists in such films. Once again we're treated to the rich and glitzy world of Beverly Hills, where the worst issue one might have to face is spilling something on a $700 dress. To top it off with sheer petulance, Clueless promotes and makes famous such mid-90s catch phrases like "As if!" and "WhatEVER!". Yet the brilliance lies in presenting so many typical cinematic red flags and still turning out to be so cheeky that it's darn near impossible to dislike.

"Her manipulation of her teachers, her father and her friends would almost be naughty if she didn't shed innocence like some itchy snake."

I have nothing in common with our heroine, Cher (Alicia Silverstone). For one thing, I look terrible in plaid skirts and have never argued a grade with a teacher in my life. And I lack proper ovaries. As shallow as she is brainy, Cher flits through her life taking little seriously. Her manipulation of her teachers, her father and her friends would almost be naughty if she didn't shed innocence like some itchy snake. Wow... that metaphor really, really, really did not work. To bad I lack the will to reach over to the backspace and try again. On to the next paragraph, my friends!

As quotable as it is funny, Clueless is a great party pick for you and a few friends. The war between Cher and her half/something-brother Josh is enjoyable... after all, movies teach us that all great relationships begin in antagonism, right? Right, you pickle-headed, obtuse toe monkey? It's awesome to have college kid Josh as a foil for Cher, because while he's the opposite of everything she is (he dresses in grunge, cares about the environment, and is somewhat responsible), he's by no means a more honorable character. Cher might be shallow, but Josh is certainly pretentious (like OH SO many college students from my illustrious past).

The plot rambles around in episodic fashion, as Cher gets two of her teachers to fall in love, takes a new Midwestern (and that means DUMB, naturally) friend under her wing, dates a 90210 clone, and fights for her own popularity. Most of the supporting cast prove their chops (again, what the heck is a chops?), including Vizzini from Princess Bride, skateboard slacker Travis (Brecken Meyer, from Road Trip), and Cher's dad, the ever-grouchy Dan Huyundi. Heyena. Or whatever.

Alicia Silverstone got a huge fan following (about 99% guys) with this flick, but failed to follow it up with anything memorable. As my friend said when he saw her in Batman and Robin, "On a twenty-foot screen, she has this two foot moustache! Gross!" Still, she deserves better for this role, becoming a national icon of bimbosity. In a way, she and this movie became a template for the slang-slinging high school life of Buffy a few years later.

Clueless: try as you might not to, you're gonna like it.

Kyle's Rating: I wish they all could be California girls
Kyle's Review: Let me make something totally clear from the start – not all California girls are like Cher (dear Miss Alicia Silverstone) though it would be great if they were. Not all CA guys are like the clueless dudes of Clueless, either. At the time this movie was made there wasn’t much intelligence in the state, but since then Phil Jackson and myself have become official CA residents, and that has made the state IQ level raise incredibly. But I digress.

"It’s the absolute cat’s meow"

This movie is great. I feared it would be junk back in the mid-90’s when it came out, but then I rented it and found it was the coolest. The coolest! This slice o’ life of Cher and her friends is somehow superficially deep and vainly sweet, and while it won’t change your life in the slightest it will definitely put a smile on your face. And it has a fantastic soundtrack! I own the movie and the soundtrack, and I enjoy them both immensely. Yes, it’s full of hot girls, good tunes and loads of smart teen humor (a rare commodity) but it also possess the special movie magic that allows you to watch it over and over without getting sick of it. Damn you, Hollywood! Consult films like Clueless and Raiders of the Lost Ark and learn how to make better films that last through repeated viewings, I command you.

So that’s about it. Check out Clueless if you haven’t, because it’s the absolute cat’s meow. Tell your friends to check it out if they haven’t already, because it is wonderful. Wonderful! Alicia, your finest work is here, so if you never have another hit fear nothing! Your legacy is assured!

"Okay... so... I look like a banana." Is she the good angel advisor or the bad devil one? Oh yeah. I can SO relate to this film.

Didja Notice? [some sources: IMDb]

• The band playing during the party scene is the Boston-based ska band, the Mighty Mighty Bosstones.
• When Christian first appears at the class, Cher has new hopes for high school boys. But as the shot pans from her gaze to him in the doorway, just over his left shoulder on the wall in the classroom is a cut out headline from the newspaper which reads "On the Road to Nowhere."
• The films that Christian watches on video with Cher — Some Like It Hot and Spartacus provide clues to his sexual orientation. The first movie deals with cross-dressing men. The second includes the famous scene where a Roman master (Laurence Olivier) tries to seduce his male servant (Tony Curtis).
• In the scene where Cher and Dionne are walking down the corridors, talkng on their mobile phones to each other about their report cards, Cher pushes down the aerial on her phone and it completely bends over.
• Some of the crew and director Amy Heckerling can be seen (briefly) reflected in a shop window through which Cher is looking.
• On the way home from the party after Cher ditches Elvis and gets mugged, she calls her step-brother from a pay phone (I think) to come pick her up...he reluctantly agrees to and hangs up the phone... but she neglects to tell him, specifically, where she is.
• Julie Brown, who plays same-sex oriented phys ed teacher Miss Stoeger, made waves with her song "'Cause I'm a Blonde" and had '80s MTV's viewers roaring with her show, Just Say Julie.
• Marvin the Martian is just so cool
• Who doesn't sing along with the Mentos commercials? Me, that's who.

Is It Worth Staying Through End Credits?

Like, no!

Intermission! [some sources: IMDb]

Loosely based on Jane Austen's novel "Emma".

Cher's last name is given as "Horowitz", but shown on her report card as "Hamilton". This may be an in-joke, as director Amy Heckerling's previously directed Fast Times at Ridgemont High, which featured a Stacey Hamilton.

Clueless was spun off into a short-lived TV series in 1996.

Groovy Quotes

Cher: Old people can be so sweet!

Cher: Isn't my house classic? The columns date all the way back to 1972.

Cher: He does dress better than I do, what would I bring to the relationship?

Mel: Do you know what time it is?
Cher: A watch doesn't really go with this outfit, daddy.

Cher: Sometimes you have to show a little skin. This reminds boys of being naked, and then they think of sex!

Cher: Anything you can do to draw attention to your mouth is good.

Cher: You can't be the absolute final word on driver's licenses?
Driving Instructor: Girlie, as far as you're concerned, I am the messiah of the DMV.

Cher: That's Ren and Stimpy. They're way existential.

Cher: Okay, so you're probably going, "Is this a Noxzema commercial or what?" But actually, I have a way normal life!

Heather: It's just like Hamlet said, "To thine own self be true."
Cher: Hamlet didn't say that.
Heather: I think I remember Hamlet accurately.
Cher: Well, I remember Mel Gibson accurately, and he didn't say that. That Polonius guy did.

Cher: Christian said he'd call tomorrow, but in boy time that meant Thursday.

Mr.Hall: So does anyone have any final thoughts on Cher's oration? Elton?
Elton: Yeah. I can't find my Cranberries CD. I gotta go to the quad before anyone snags it.

Dionne: Cher's saving herself for Luke Perry.

Cher: [seeking a match for her teacher] There was a major babe drought at my school. The evil trolls from the math department were actually married and in the grand tradition of P.E. teachers, Ms. Stoger seemed to be same-sex oriented.

Travis: I would like to say this. Tardiness is not something you can do on your own. Many, many people contributed to my tardiness. I would like to thank my parents for never giving me a ride to school, the LA city bus driver who took a chance on an unknown kid and last but not least, the wonderful crew from McDonalds who spend hours making those egg McMuffins without which I'd never be tardy.

Mel: So, what did you do in school today?
Cher: Well, I broke in my purple clogs.

Cher: I want to do something for humanity.
Josh: How about sterilization?

Murray: My street slang is an increasingly valid form of expression. Most of the feminine pronouns do have mocking, but not necessarily in misogynistic undertones.

Mel: What the hell is that?
Cher: A dress.
Mel: Says who?
Cher: Calvin Klein.

Cher: So like, right now for example. The Haitians need to come to America. But some people are all, "What about the strain on our resources?" Well it's like when I had this garden party for my father's birthday. I put R.S.V.P. 'cause it was a sit-down dinner. But some people came that like did not R.S.V.P. I was totally buggin'. I had to haul ass to the kitchen, redistribute the food, and squish in extra place settings. But by the end of the day it was, like, the more the merrier. And so if the government could just get to the kitchen and rearrange some things we could certainly party with the Haitians. And in conclusion may I please remind you it does not say R.S.V.P. on the Statue of Liberty! Thank you very much.

Cher: Dionne and I were both named after famous singers of the past, who now do infomercials.

Cher: Searching for a boy in high school is like searching for meaning in a Pauly Shore movie.

Mel: You mean to tell me that you argued your way from a C+ to an A-?
Cher: Totally based on my powers of persuasion. You proud?
Mel: Honey, I couldn't be happier than if they were based on real grades.

Amber: Ms. Stoeger, my plastic surgeon doesn't want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose.
Dionne: Well, there goes your social life.

Cher: I was surfing the crimson wave. I had to haul ass to the ladies'.

Cher: Thank you Josh, I so need lessons from you on how to be cool. Tell me that part about Kenny G again.

Mel: Anything happens to my daughter, I got a .45 and a shovel, I doubt anybody would miss you.

Josh: You know, if I ever saw you do something that wasn't ninety percent selfish, I'd die of shock.
Cher: Oh, that'd be reason enough for me.

Cher: It's like that book I read in the 9th grade that said "'tis a far far better thing doing stuff for other people."

Cher: So okay, I don't want to be a traitor to my generation and all but I don't get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair - ew - and cover it up with a backwards cap and we're supposed to swoon? I don't think so!

Cher: So, this flannel thing. Is that a nod to the crispy Seattle weather, or are you just trying to stay warm in front of the refrigerator?

Soundtrack Review

This is a pretty cool compilation to own, particularly for Jill Sobule's "Supermodel" and a couple other listen-worthy songs.

If you liked this movie, try these:

• Fast Times At Ridgemont High
• Valley Girl
• Road Trip