Some actors stake their claim in the movie industry by doing ritzy big-time huge payday projects to get their names splashed all over everything (Ben Affleck). They become a product, a commodity for Hollywood bigwigs to manipulate in order to make oodles of dough (Ben Affleck). In exchange, the actors themselves become "stars" whose celebrity outshines their talent in exchange for diva studio deals and infinite ego massaging power and fame (Ben Affleck). Here at the MRFH, we prefer to respect and admire those actors who will, with or without huge parts or huge pay checks, consciously and consistently hand in interesting, diverse and compelling performances. Occasionally these actors hit the big time (Kevin Spacey, Sean Penn) but most often, they build solid careers in anonymity and feed their families making bunches of movies a year without ever doing whirl-wind press junkets or writing articles about themselves for Premiere magazine. This page is our attempt to celebrate those film actors who don't have above-the-title marquee status but who deserve your attention and have paid their dues to earn your respect. You may not know their names but chances are good that you'll recognize their faces because they're you know, those guys! I can't say very many good things about Daredevil. In fact, I can only think of two. 1. Colin Farrell is yummy and delicious and scrumptious and I want to gobble him up like a ham sandwich. 2. This movie is littered from top to bottom with You Know, That Guys! It seemed that every new scene brought with it new, hard-working, character actors seen all over movies and TV shows but who aren't household names. So, in-between wanting to break off a piece of Irish hunk and wanting to gouge my eyes out for having to look at Ben Affleck "acting" for one more god forsaken moment, I was able to find comfort and joy in playing my own game of "Where have I seen that dude before?" Now then: The You Know, That Guys of Daredevil:
Where I'm from, Joe Pantoliano doesn't really count as a YKTG because among my friends and neighbors he's like our cool uncle who pops in unannounced every once in a while . You never know when to expect him, but you're always glad when he shows up. "Joey Pants!!" we yell, wrapping our metaphorical arms over his metaphorical shoulders and offering him a pretend drink and a pretend place to sit and put up his pretend feet. He's part of the family. He just happens to live inside the TV. Mr. Pants (the name I call him out of respect) has gotten a whole lot more exposure in the past few years after turning in performances in both The Matrix (as Cypher) and The Sopranos (as Ralph "Bowling Bag" Cifaretto). However, he's been around for ages acting in tons of excellent movies, always working on the periphery, turning in great, memorable performances. He's most regularly cast as the sleazy jerk, the sleazy boyfriend, the sleazy criminal or the sleazy corrupt public official. He does comedy. He does drama. He does psychological thrillers, buddy cop capers, art films, and anything else you might throw his way. He deserves a standing ovation for all his hard work and dedication. And since he's never going to receive the level of recognition he's earned, get up out of your seat right now and put your hands together for Mr. Pants. Come on. I'm not kidding around. Get up. Clap. Special mid-feature featurette: YKTG - David Keith vs. Keith David It's an age-old dilemma. A common confusion among folks who pay attention to random things like this. Which one is David Keith and which one is Keith David? Let's set the record straight once and for all.
Now that that's settled, let's move on.
With talent this multi-dimensional and material with this much potential, one might wonder why Mutant Clare so vehemently disliked Daredevil. It's rather simple really. Ben Affleck sucks. He sucks in a variety of ways, but to be specific, allow me to further advise that he sucks in Daredevil. For example (and there are many I could choose from), I've seen LOTS of sighted people play blind folks in film with varying degrees of believability or originality. But really, for the life of me, I can't figure out why AFFLECK (tm) would decide that blindness is best conveyed onscreen by crossing his eyes. Crossing one's eyes is universally funny. Every stupid face kids make at one another involves the crossing of one's eyes. If he wanted to commit to such a stupid choice, he should have taken it a step further and maybe shoved his thumbs in his ears and said "nannie nannie boo-boo" a lot. (And before you jump up to write me an angry missive about how wrong it is to disparage people with crossed eyes, allow me to interject that I was born with one. And every time I see old pictures of myself with it, they make me laugh.) Also, besides his inability to do regular acting with any aplomb, and perhaps much more annoyingly, AFFLECK (tm) is not an action star. He's got no skills. And while I hate to compare AFFLECK (tm) to Matt Damon simply because they're friends, at least Damon had the good sense to, you know, learn how to throw a punch and do a break fall in order to play Jason Bourne in The Bourne Identity. AFFLECK (tm) apparently just went to a couple of costume fittings, stuck a yam down the front of his pants and hit his marks. The rest of the "action" here is completely computer animated or so horribly edited together there's no way to believe he could ever hold his own in a brawl with anybody. I know Matt Murdock isn't an average super-hero but rather an average guy with superior senses, but he's still supposed to know how to fight. In conclusion, Ben Affleck sucks. And his immense suckiness is only further amplified by the multitude of talented You Know, That Guys working along side him in this picture. |
Posted: March 1, 2003
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