Mutant Reviewers from Hell do
"A Flakfizer doesn't know the MEANING of the word 'No!' We're also a little fuzzy on 'panaglutin' and 'viscosity.'"

1992 PG / Comedy Directed by: Dennis Dugan Starring: John Turturro, Bob Nelson, Mel Smith

Tagline

In the tradition of Abbott and Costello, The Three Stooges, and the Reagan Administration.

Summary Capsule

Three nutcases run around imitating the Marx Brothers and… I… Sorry, this plot just absolutely denies summary of any kind.

Mutant Meter

Movie Store [proceeds go toward monthly MRFH upkeep]

Amazon.com: DVD

Shalen's Rating: None of this is really happening.
Shalen's Dedication: This review is dedicated to my friends DaintyBelle and Enigmatic, who forced me to watch it (and I'm glad they did).
Shalen's Review: Most of the time I try to avoid reviewing comedies. This is for a couple of reasons. First, a funny movie is always hard to review in a funny way. So this review probably won't be very entertaining. And second, everyone has a different sort of preference in what is or is not funny, so I could recommend this movie or declare it trash and get hostile emails from an equal number of readers. Lots of people loved the Austin Powers movies. I hated them. Lots of people loved Scary Movie. I hated it. Lots of people have seen all of the American Pie films. I refuse categorically to watch them.¹

"There's definitely no crap-flinging or sex with pastry."

My normal preference in humor tends more toward the "unrealistically clever bon mots" school and away from the "things that happen in the crotch region are funny" school. This means I sometimes watch comedy of manners a la Oscar Wilde and Jane Austen. I don't mind older slapstick like Young Frankenstein, but the recent products of the genre are just generally too scatological for me to enjoy them.

That being the case, I wish there were more movies like this one. Because this movie is absolutely stark insane.

It's loosely based on a Marx Brothers routine called A Night at the Opera, and you can see a couple of homages, especially the way Flakfizer walks and the cigar he often carries around. And if you like the Marx brothers, you'll probably enjoy this movie. I've never seen an entire Marx movie, but I sat through this one in near-paralysis, trying to convince myself I hadn't accidentally dropped acid without noticing. It's not just that it's goofy. It's not just that it's got slapstick and one-liners. It's not the double-entendres and the obvious elbow-wink moments. It's that all of those things happen simultaneously and at a breakneck pace.

To the extent that there is a plot, it's about Roland T. Flakfizer's attempt to put himself in the clover by conning a rich woman into setting up a successful ballet company, in the meantime helping out two young ballet dancers in love and giving the arrogant older danseur his comeuppance. Rocco and Jacques sort of wander into the plot from various directions and stay for the duration, and the three of them then proceed to do whatever they please in whatever setting they happen to stumble upon.

Some things may amuse you and some may not, but at several jokes per minute there's probably something for you to laugh at. There's nothing that drags on and bogs down the film. There are no crushingly awful things, although the acting of the real ballet artists comes close. (Apparently they don't take so well to acting as professional ballroom dancers do.) I wouldn't call this exactly child-friendly, given that some of the humor is sexual in nature, but it's far less inappropriate than most such material that's presented in PG-13 movies now. There's definitely no crap-flinging or sex with pastry. This film at its core is actually rather innocent, existing in its own wild little universe wherein some bizarre circumstance or other lurks around every corner.

It's hard for me to say exactly what I thought was funny about this movie. There's just so much of everything. But I can definitely say I almost busted a gut laughing while I watched it, and hopefully so will some of you.

1. Along with American Beauty and Titanic. I also refuse to watch The Princess Diaries, but not categorically. I am strangely fond, however, of Shriek.

I'm sure none of you can guess which ballet this was supposed to be. That's a ballerina, you putz. Let go of her legs before they break. "Gimme some soul, daddy-o"

Didja Notice? [some sources: IMDb]

• Defibrillator paddles. Shalen's favorite scene.
• The Groucho walk. It's an elbow thing.
• There is something so very, very wrong about the outfits male ballet dancers wear. Especially in the cup region, if you catch my drift.
• The greatest laptop ever.
• The early scene where Jacques lays down the tablecloth full of crockery - filmed in reverse?
• The ballet guys wear a lot of makeup.
• Is Lillian actually even played by a woman?
• The dressing-room scene. Crazy. Brilliant. Hilarious.
• Mel Smith also played the albino lab assistant torturer in The Princess Bride". He then went on to direct George Lucas' 2nd most famous flop Radioland Murders. [Thanks Brando A!]

Is It Worth Staying Through End Credits?

Sure, if only for the wacky claymation cartoon that plays under them.

Intermission! [some sources: IMDb]

IMDB doesn't have much to say about this one, possibly because they had the same reaction I did and couldn't believe this movie was for real.

When Lazlo the lawyer is hit over the head with a vase in a doorway, it smashes everywhere. Seconds later, Flakfizer and Mrs. Oglethorpe go through the same doorway and the vase pieces are gone.

When Flakfizer and the guys are going to the hospital, as they leave the townhouse, Flakfizer is wearing a purple suit. As he exits the car at the hospital, his suit is black/gray, but as he walks into the hospital, the suit is purple again. This has been fixed on the DVD.

Groovy Quotes

Roland T. Flakfizer: And that spells cash with a capital...
Jacques: K!
Roland T. Flakfizer: You should go back to school.
Jacques: I hated teaching.

Roland T. Flakfizer: Some day you'll have my children. In fact, they're in the car if you want them.

Rocco (snatching up discarded centerfolds): Charity work. I gather these for those less fortunate than myself who can't afford pornography.

Lillian Oglethorpe: Then it's settled. I am so excited.
Roland T. Flakfizer: You're excited? Feel these nipples.

Roland T. Flakfizer: "No?" A Flakfizer doesn't know the MEANING of the word "No!" We're also a little fuzzy on "panaglutin" and "viscosity."

Volare: Do you realize what I was doing at the age of seven?
Roland T. Flakfizer: I can imagine and you must be thankful you didn't go blind.
Volare: I was dancing professionally.
Roland T. Flakfizer: Whatever you call it. Flogging the carrot, polishing the cuestick, choking the chicken, clearing the snorkel...

Usherette: Five and six.
Roland T. Flakfizer: Eleven. Now it's your turn: twenty-five and sixty-seven.

If you liked this movie, try these:

• Hot Shots! Part Deux
• Young Frankenstein
• Crazy People