Mutant Reviewers from Hell do
“It's my HEAD, Schwartz, it's MY HEAD!”

1999 R / Drama Comedy Directed by: Spike Jonze Starring: John Cusack, Cameron Diaz, John Malkovich

Tagline

Ever wanted to be someone else? Now you can.

Summary Capsule

Deadbeats discover a tunnel that leads inside of Malkovich's head and make it into an amusement park

Mutant Meter

Movie Store [proceeds go toward monthly MRFH upkeep]

DVD | Soundtrack (Score)

Justin's Rating: whadda fuddy muddik
Justin's Review: It's incredibly difficult to design a review for this movie. A lot of reviews you can read on Being John Malkovich will either give away important plot points (and thus trivialize them) or become so enthusiastic about the film that they choke on their own spittle and suffer from "Enamored Critics Disease" (a slew of critics all liking the same film tend to scare the rest of the public away). To be honest with you, I'm not exactly sure how universal this movie is. Will everyone like it? No, probably not. Will some people become too confused over the whole plot and look to their monosyllabic heroes for relief? Yes, of course. Is it even a *gasp* art flick? There is that danger, sure. But about the best advice I can give you is to forgo reading all other reviews (even this one) until you just take the time to rent BJM and see it for yourself. You may hate it, but then again, you may have just discovered for yourself one of the most striking, original, and fascinating movies of all time.

"The best thing I can say about BJM is that it really never stops surprising you, right till the end."

Without giving away all of the quirks and gimmiks that make up this film, let me say that it is more or less a dark and scary love triangle between Craig (John Cusack), Lotte (Cameron Diaz), and Maxine (Catherine Keener) played out inside of the head of one very confused John Malkovich. John's a frustrated puppeteer (who puts on some pretty nifty puppet shows; I've never really looked seriously at puppets before, but the skill that is performed here is well-done) who takes a filing job at a strange little company. Lotte is his wife, who's pent-up repression of... something... is driving her to find a different life. Maxine's just there to exploit everone, including one lonely actor by the name of Malkovich. There's a lot of unrequited love going on, and also a continuing motif of wanting to be someone else or live someone else's life.

The best thing I can say about BJM is that it really never stops surprising you, right till the end. It's a bizarre fantasy story set in a world somewhat like ours and exactly like ours and nothing like ours (that makes sense, I know). I always love a movie that sends me packing with all sorts of thinking processes going on in my brain for days to follow, and although BJM explains a bit of it's craziness, it never tries so hard as to lay out every realistic tack and nail. It's so different that I can't compare this movie to anything else that's been made. For one thing, both Cusack and Diaz look so frumpy that they're almost undesirable. Another thing is there is no hero, no one character to root for exactly. It's an expansive moral tale with no normal people, such as they supposedly are.

Just stay out of my head, okay?

Da monkey is da boss The hunchback factory: where Quasimodos are born! Hey, if you're into voodoo, you gotta be prepared to spend the time to do a quality job

Didja Notice? [some sources: IMDb]

• Charlie Sheen being Charlie Sheen (old and young)
• That jewel thief movie
• John Malkovich's real middle name is Gavin - in the movie, his character's middle name is Horatio.
• Craig discovers that LesterCorp is on the 7 1/2 floor of the Mertin Flemmer building by seeing a "7 1/2" on a building directory in the lobby - at the 7 1/2-minute point of the film.
• At the beginning of the film when Craig is trying to guess Maxine's name, one of the names he mumbles is "Emily", the name of the child that Maxine gives birth to at the end of the film.
• Several characters in the movie remember Malkovich as having played a jewel thief, even though, as he correctly points out, he never did. However, Malkovich did eventually play a jewel thief in Johnny English

Is It Worth Staying Through End Credits?

No.

Intermission! [some sources: IMDb]

Malkovich's real middle name is Gavin, although they call him John Horatio Malkovich in the film.

Was John Malcovich being John Malcovich in Being John Malcovich? Not exactly. According to Malcovich, Malcovich was playing not himself, but rather an amalgum character based on celebrity in general.

Groovy Quotes

Craig: Nobody's looking for a puppeteer in today's wintry economic climate.

Lester: [holds up an R and a squiggle] Tell me, Craig, which of these letters comes first?
Craig: The symbol on the left, is that a letter, sir?
Lester: Damn, you're good.

Maxine: Aren't you married?
Craig: Yes, but enough about me.

Maxine: Meet you in Malcovich in one hour.

Craig: With all due respect, John, it's my portal.
Malcovich: It's my HEAD, Schwartz, it's MY HEAD!

Dr. Lester: I've been very lonely in my isolated tower of indecipherable speech.

DVD Review

This is an appropriately bizarre DVD. The menus are done a la those diagrams out of Gray's Anatomy textbooks, and are scored with the music from the movie (for two "musical" easter eggs, go to the Language Selection menu for some strange little song; then go to Cast and Filmmakers menu, select Malkovich, and you'll get a "Malkovich remix" tune with a lot of quotes from the film). As for extras, there are many to choose from. Start with both a theatrical trailer and a bunch of TV spots (one of these is a delightfully tacky commercial for JM Inc). There are two TV productions-within-the-movie that you can see seperately (the 7 1/2 floor orientation and the Malkovich puppet one). For documentary freaks, there a really boring puppet show, and interview with director Spike Jonze, and then something called "An Intimate Portrait of the Art of Background Driving". Want to know what background driving is? It's the extras that drive the cars by the filming location when the script calls for a scene to be by a road. This documentary features some lady sitting in a car, driving it back and forth, and basically spouting off whatever comes to her little mind (answer: quite a lot). There's the typical photo album and cast & crew info, and a weird little easter egg that you can discover for yourself. Presented in Widescreen format. Would go from a great DVD to an excellent one if it only had a running commentary.

Soundtrack Review

A wonderful score, soft and very eerie. Sort of like the music I'd like to have played in my tomb, if I ever had one.

If you liked this movie, try these:

• Mutant Viewing: Being John Malkovich
• Adaptation
• Team America: World Police