Mutant Reviewers from Hell do
"We live here for a reason: because nobody else can."

2007 R / Horror Suspense Directed by: David Slade Starring: Josh Hartnett, Melissa George, Danny Huston

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Summary Capsule

Vampires in Alaska. Bring on the bears!

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Justin's Rating: Fangs for the memories

Justin's Review: It's a bad month to be a tree sloth, that's for sure. Far from his native lands, exiled to the cold wasteland of northern Alaska, our intrepid sloth (Josh Harnett) finds himself a law dog in Barrow. His natural slow-moving nature doesn't bode well for an environment where frostbite sets in under five minutes, but somehow, he makes do.

"That's the conundrum of the horror hero tasked with guard duty. He's got to be nice and accommodating until they're all worm food."

He makes do, that is, until a tourist bus full of old-style vampires pulls up and decides to make Barrow their playground during the month-long absence of sunlight. These are nasty, dirty, Nosferatu vamps that skitter and feed and pretty much wipe out the entire town on the first night. 29 days to go. What's a sleepy sloth to do?

Saddle up the survivors, run and hide, and enjoy living the good life of the hunted, that's what. Naturally, he's hindered by survivors who are somewhat peeved they haven't been eaten yet, and do everything in their power to put themselves in harm's way. You can tell he wants to take a lead pipe to their noggins, but that's the conundrum of the horror hero tasked with guard duty. He's got to be nice and accommodating until they're all worm food.

Despite its cool atmosphere and sickly sadistic vamps, 30 Days of Night doesn't really veer far off the rails of your typical Elimination Movie. These people, who are outnumbered and under siege, keep finding excellent reasons to run out into the open like target practice ducks as we go, "No! You fools!" Because what's exciting in watching ten people huddle in complete safety until sunrise, followed by a "Whew! We stayed quiet and now we're safe and the vampires are literally toast!"?

Remember, their deaths are for our amusement.

If a horror movie can startle me with something new, unexpected or incredibly well-done, like people deliberately turning themselves into vampires to gain Killing Strength, then it deserves my praise. If it telegraphs a giant woodchipper early on (which is, of course, running all the time and exposed with no safeties whatsoever), then I'm just apathetically ticking down the minutes until someone or something is fed into it with an appropriately gory scrunch. 30 Days wishes it was more the first type and less the second, but that's what you get when you arm a tree sloth with an axe. Slow swings, big misses.

Based on the comic book by Steve Niles, this film falters a bit in comparison to the acclaimed story, but for what nitpicks I and Mr. Sloth can find (he needs those nits for nourishment), this is a neat twist on traditional vampire tales. Not too scary, way too bloody, and a fun romp in the horror sack before it's through.

"The HILLS are ALIVE... with the sound of MUSIC!" If only tree sloths ran faster than first gear... Molly, armed with her mother's lipstick and her brother's fake Halloween teeth, readies herself for school photo day.

Didja Notice? [some sources: IMDb]

• If Barrow got cut off from communications, don't you think other towns would be able to tell and send people to check it out?
• How our hero beats the bad guy? Pure AWESOME.
• Of course you have your demonic child who's introduced with her back to the camera.
• A picture of Steve Niles, who wrote the original comic book, hangs in the attic hideout.

Is It Worth Staying Through End Credits?

No.

Intermission! [some sources: IMDb]

The movie obviously takes vast liberties with Barrow, which actually has a population around 4,600 people, very few of which are Josh Harnett. It doesn't have 30 strict days of complete darkness, as the movie states. Instead, on November 18 or 19 the sun goes down, and remains below the horizon for about 65 days until it re-appears, normally on January 22 or 23. During the time of polar night there is a decreasing amount of twilight each day, and on December 21, about the shortest day of the year, civil twilight in Barrow lasts for a mere 3 hours. Also, airplanes can and do operate during the months of darkness.

Most of the night shots were actually shot during the day, using the day-for-night process.

Groovy Quotes

Stella Oleson: He's just trying to freak us out.
Jake Oleson: It's working.

Marlow: [speaking in vampire language] That which can be broken must be broken.

Beau Brower: Welcome to Barrow. Top of the world.

Sheriff Eben Oleson: We'll sleep in shifts. We'll ration our food, and then we'll figure out the next step. We have two advantages - we know this town, and we know the cold. We live here for a reason; because nobody else can.

If you liked this movie, try these:

• Nosferatu
• The Lost Boys
• Interview with the Vampire