The Ninth Annual Mutant Awards: 2006

Winner: Time-traveling DeLorean (Back to the Future)

When it comes to uber-cool, trendy, statement-making transportation, I'm sure I'm the indisputable go-to gal in the MRFH universe. Indeed, from the day I sat in my first classic car — an '86 Ford Escort with four doors and a tape player — I knew I'd never ever drop my standards from there. And just as some of the greatest personalities in movies can be instantly identified by the very vehicles they operate, the glistening grape-ish purple and smooth curves of my Plymouth Neon identifies me as... as perky and... fun.

Geeze, you'd think I could at least get the occasional date, wouldn't you?

But moving right along.

Movie Vehicles. Which are hot, which are not, and just what office of the Dept. of Transportation do you go to when you need a license for one of these cinematic creampuffs?

Let's see what YOU, the audience, had to say.

Nestled at the bottom of the pack, in an improbable salvage yard medley, are the sad trio of the X-Men's Blackbird, Phantasm's 1971 Plymouth Cuda (but wait, Plymouths are cool!) and Boba Fett's hand-me-down Slave I. (Okay, I have to say this. Aside from the fact that Slave I looks alternately like a hand-held vacuum cleaner and a first grader's halloween mask project, what the heck is wrong with it?) None of these managed to merit even a lousy four percent of your votes

Moving up, we have our favorite Transformer, Optimus Prime with 4.6% of the vote (and .0000006 mpg on the highway). Revving ahead of Optimus is the newest incarnation of Batman's ride, the Tumbler, aka: Batmobile, with 9.3% and free parking anywhere within Gotham city limits.

With 22.8%, third place was won handily by Han Solo's much beloved bucket o' bolts, the Millenium Falcon. The ultimate used vehicle, manufactured a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away and originally owned by a little old lady in Pasadena, the Falcon might not be any sleeker than a 1974 Kenworth, but if you're looking to do the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs, the Falcon is your bird. (Also available for charter flights, cargo transport and kids' parties!)

For the top two places, we had a fender-bending, tire-kicking, axle-snapping, tranny-dropping, gear-grinding, insert-automotive-metaphor-here-ing, battle royale. When the exhaust cleared, Serenity's aptly named Serenity had to settle for the big foam glove that says, "We're Number 2!", despite a determined campaign by an unexpected swarm of groupies who kidnapped Justin, locked him in a root cellar somewhere in Saskatchewan and threatened never to return him if they didn't win. Yup. We're gonna miss ol' Justin. Serenity collared 26.5% of the vote.

With a victorious 26.9%, is the time traveling, tricked out DeLorean of Back to the Future fame. Bending the space-time continuum and confounding traffic cops the world over, the DeLorean had the moxie to pull off its Mutie victory not only in every time zone, but also in every decade from the dawn of recorded history! A complimentary oil change and a complete 27 point inspection to our winner!

Final Tally:

1. Time-traveling DeLorean (Back to the Future) (26.9%)
2. Serenity (Serenity) (26.5%)
3. Millenium Falcon (Star Wars trilogy) (22.8%)
4. The Tumbler/Batmobile (Batman Begins) (9.3%)
5. Optimus Prime (Transformers) (4.6%)
6. Slave I (Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back) (3.4%)
7. 1971 Plymouth 'Cuda 340 (Phantasm) (3.4%)
8. The Blackbird (X-Men) (3.1%)

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