The Eighth Annual Mutant Awards: 2005

POOLMAN I LOVE YOU! AND NOT IN A 'FRIEND' WAY!

[awkward!]

Gasp! Justin don't look now but there is a giant flesh-eating robot of doom and destruction slowly creeping up on you SHH! NOISE FEEDS HIS HUNGER!

[intense!]

Kyle...I hate to be the one to tell you this...but....you're pregnant.

[awkward/intense!] [awktense!]

Sue there's an alien creeping up your shoulder! [drops to a whisper] And you might want to tell it that it's underwear is showing.

[intense/awkward!] [intward!]

My love of combining words aside, the art of silence is one that is very important to cinema. Um, hello? Silent Bob? Anyone? Very integral part of our movie watching experience. Whether it's the awkward skin-crawling "ugh! There is so much misunderstanding in this one single frame of movie, I can't stand it!" or the breath-taking silence that leaves you biting your lip until you cry, cry, cry...both equally nerve-wracking on our conscious.

So what did you movie-watching fellows out in the wild terrain of Internet polling think of the power of silence? Apparently, you kids go for the creepy stuff, as opposed to loving awkward situations like me. Alien pulled you in with the dramatic moment of extraterrestrial invasion, where not a single word, growl, or yelp could have made it annnny eerier. The Kill Bill pre-fight scene was incredible. There's nothing quieter than snow, and pairing that with the knowledge of the impending death of one of those fine karate mamas...well, what better film-making could there be? Oh, and the clink of that little fountain deal-y?!? Wonderful film making, bravo, Quentin, high fives all around! And once again...another intense silence in The Good, The Bad & The Ugly. WHY DO YOU GUYS HATE AWKWARD!?!?!

FINAL TALLY:

1. 25.8% The Alien sneaks aboard the shuttle in Alien. Holy poop on a stick, there's no sound in the world that could have made that any scarier.
2. 23.1% The climactic fight in Kill Bill Volume 1, out in the snow. Beautiful.
3. 16.7% The final showdown between Tuco, Angel Eyes, and the Man with No Name in The Good, The Bad & The Ugly.
4. 15.2% When Marcus is singing "Killing Me Softly" in About a Boy before Hugh Grant joins him
5. 6.4% Almost Famous - the long walk in airport after almost crashing for William and Stillwater, including William's use of a nearby trash can for puking
6. 5.7% The silent moments after Harry and Sally sleep together for the first time (When Harry Met Sally)
7. 3.8% The toothbrushing scene in Bring It On
8. 3.4% Directly after the Renee Zellweger three minute expository monologue in Down With Love

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