The Seventh Annual Mutant Awards: 2004

I'm probably not the best person to be presenting this award. See, I sort of LIKE sequels. And prequels. And spin-offs. And pretty much every opportunity to dilute a brand name by cheapening it with a new project. Bad sequels pay for my non-existent bread and butter on MRFH, and I might well be the only person in the world anxious to see Dungeons & Dragons 2 when it releases.

Still, for the honor of me and my snoring pug, I will present to the best of my abilities. Considering that the top four most-voted entries all hovered around 1/5th each of the AMA voter population, this was no cakewalk for the winner. Matrix Revolutions and Phantom Menace (my personal projected winner) actually tied for second, as frothing-mouthed fans spat at Hollywood's attempt to belittle their beloved franchises. Blues Bros. 2K sprung up to a surprising third place, considering how few people actually saw it.

What shocks me to the core of my being, and questions all that I hold most dear, is that somehow Dumb & Dumberer topped the list. Topped. The. List. Sure, we couldn't nominate every horrible sequel out there — Revenge of the Nerds IV was cruelly unrepresented this year — but while noone can argue that Dumb & Dumberer was actually watchable, it was so much of a non-event that I figure people voted based on the awkward pronunciation of that title alone. In any case, it won. Also, the Republicans. Also, the Red Sox. It's been a strange year.

FINAL TALLY:
• 24% - Dumb and Dumberer
• 20.6% [tie] - The Matrix: Revolutions
• 20.6% [tie] - Star Wars: The Phantom Menace
• 17.5% - Blues Brothers 2000
• 8.2% - The Crow: City of Angels
• 6.2% - Police Academy 7: Mission to Moscow
• 2.3% - Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
• 0.6% - Die Hard 2: Die Harder

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