The Seventh Annual Mutant Awards: 2004

This is one of my favorite parts of any Annual Mutant Awards, because some moron gave the mob a microphone and untapped the keg for the enjoyment of all. Hey, it's late, and I'll take "M" alliteration for $800 please, Alex. Anyway, here are the collective thoughts of many of our voters [with editorial responses in italics]:

• Were there less awards this year? You really need to start having some annual, like one or two that only applies to movies out in the past year, like Best New Cult Movie or whatever. [Nope. 8 categories every year for most of the years now!]

• I like english muffins.

• shop smart, shop s-mart. [You got that?]

• You know it's time for a break when you go to bring "Monsoon Wedding" in for your class to watch, but you accidentally bring "Kung Pow". "And now...a joke!" Veltoby

• Keep up the good work

• Your site kicks ass

• George W. Bush has no Elvis in him. By the by, why isn't Bubba Ho-Tep on this list anywhere...? [Don't look at me — Pooly's got both a Dubya and a Bubba embargo going on.]

• If you're gonna include a Monty Python scene for "Craziest Musical Number", include the "Every Sperm Is Sacred" song and dance from "Meaning of Life". But besides "that", no complaints. Good "work"! ;p [Amen - classic musical number!]

• I thought that they did put 3PO in an oil bath in A New Hope. [Touché]

• Hick Fisherman #1: Oh. The Blair Thumb? Scary stuff.
  Hick Fisherman #2: Tell her what you heard!
  Fisherman #1: Okay. There were these two twins. The Briarly Twins. I think they were twins.
  Fisherman #2: Twins that look alike!
  Fisherman #1: They went into the woods. They'd been there hundreds of times but this time they got lost! Couldn't find their way. Then they saw this woman. She was up in the air, flllloating. [gasps]
  Fisherman #1: She took their heads and switched 'em. Like it was a sick game. And then she took their bodies, she switched 'em too. They came back lookin' like they's the same. But we all knew they'd been all switched up!
  Fisherman #2: Are you movie people? Do you know Ned Beatty? I do so love Ned Beatty.
  Fisherman #1: He's our favorite actor.
  Fisherman #2: Oh, he's good. He's good. He's good.

• Which sidekick to boil in oil is a tough choice between Batgirl & Jar-Jar. But then, Batgirl was in a franchise already bad. And neither of the Matrix sequels should have happened.

• Pants are important. [And they double as a cheap food supply should you go hungry in the wild.]

• This site is easily the best place to go for movie reviews. Now... Let's Make Biscuits! [Take THAT, Roger Ebert and Iron Chef!]

• Keep the reviews coming!

• MRFH rocks! Always remember to wash behind your ears.

• MRFH is Super Funky Jet-Coaster Fun! [I think this is my new favorite motto for the site.]

• Write-in vote for Craziest Musical Number: Monty Python and the Holy Grail / Camelot. "On second thought, let's not go there. 'Tis a silly place (and song)". [C'mon, Every Sperm Is Sacred's gotta top a couple of raggedy knights...]

• Love surfing your site. Please include more reviews of animated movies and movie musicals. [Anything else we can do for you? Drew does laundry on Tuesday and would be willing to wash your knickers for you if you like.]

• MRFH kicks so much @$$ it's almost scary. [We're not just kicking butt, we're kicking SHIFT-key butt!]

• Many many thanks to the Mutant gang for this fabulous site. [And for all the thanks and encouragement, on behalf of the MRFH staff, you're quite welcome.]

• Keep up the reviewing. [Aww, but Sue wanted us to become a Day Care center!]

• Some tough choices there, not choosing batgirl or matrix: revolutions was tough. why in the heck was the death of mufasa included in its category, outrageous.

• I demand a positive review of "Kill Bill Vol. 2!" Don't tell me everyone hates it! [Yes. Everyone does.]

• Perhaps "Clerks" has the most interesting bathroom scene with the character Caitlin Bree (Dante's ex-boyfriend) sleeping with the dead guy in the bathroom. But since it wasn't listed, you can't go wrong with good ol' Jack Nicholson.

• Visit your site daily while surfing on company time... [We should get paid by your company for entertaining you, then.]

• Wherever you go... there you are.

• "You know its a bad sign when T-Bob has the solution to a problem."

• Ummmmm...don't really have anything to say. So there, I've said it...

• Another lifetime achievement award must be, well, awarded! [And thus, it was so.]

• Always watch saturday night Sci-Fi channel movies drunk. they are almost watchable that way. drunkeny goodness. Snoogins [Did you VOTE drunk?]

• What to say.....Well your site is AWESOME! Keep upgrading this Bad Boy. I shall spread the word about this site like sh*t on a field. May the force be with you (I hate George Lucas) [MRFH: More butt- and poop-endorsements than you can shake a smelly stick at.]

• Have you ever seen that scene in scanners when the dudes head explodes?

• Oh, where is Mystery Science Theater 3000 when we really need it?!

• I'm sorry to say this but I liked the phantom menace. there, i said it. [Then, God smote him with lightning.]

• Gord save the Queen!

• San Dimas High Football Rules!! [Gosh, I hope we see this again!]

• I'm surprised you only listed Police Academy 7 for "Prequel/Sequel That Should Never Have Happened" instead of, oh, all of them. Technically, the entire series shouldn't have happened, but I suppose the ruling deity had to punish us with Steve Guttenberg somehow.

• I really do like your categories, but now I'm going to be a nitpicker: The first category should have had an option for Shaun of the Dead (boyfriend's severed leg-as-weapon) Shouldn't Stu have been bemoaning his mortality? Old Yeller should've been an option for most traumatic moment in a kids flick. [Did you see that Family Guy parody of Old Yeller? Man, that was sweeeeet.]

• Never rub another man's rhubarb.

• What’s up with not including Shaun Of The Dead for best use of a severed limb?????? [The six question marks really want to know!]

• Is Bruce Campbell married? [Seeing as how I'm a random stranger to him... yes.]

• The weird and cool part about the south park movie is that I actually liked the songs as much as the humor! How did that happen? [Too much cough syrup.]

• Great categories, just wish there were more of them!

• Did the alien family die in E.T.? I always thought that they were forced to leave E.T. behind because of the government invistigators and that they just came back to get him at the end. Am I wrong on this point? [It's fun leaving people in suspense.]

• Gimme Taco Kisses!

• No pithy phrases for me. I don't wanna pith you guys off (GOD I'M CLEVER! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! I need friends.)

• I STILL think FF7 is overrated. 8 was better. [*head explodes from the junction system*]

• Jar Jar Binks should never have been created. Never.

• We need more Clare!!!!!!! [Seven exclamation points win the deal.]

• IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS SHOULD GET SOME AWARD OF SOME KIND. Shoilin SOCCER SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN THE RUNNING FOR MUSICAL NUMBER. [i'm... i'm scared by the capital letters mommy...]

• May your foreheads grow like the mighty oak.

• Dur!

• Not much I can say except I can't wait to see a review for "Team America: World Police"...and "Kill Bill: Vol. 2" was a good movie. Peace out.

• The alligator is my friend, and so are all of you crazy folks!

• I think those sidekicks need something worse than just getting boiled in oil! The pain, the horror they made us go through in their respective movies!

• AHHHHHHHHHHHHH HOW CAN I CHOOOOOOOOSE explodes*

• Woo-hoo! Great categories this year! [It must be our foreheads.]

• You will all bow before my greatness, now watch as I set my pants on fire! [No! We need pants! Didn't you hear?]

• Thought the "Most Wanton Destruction of Hordes of Extras" cattegory was good - But you forgot Kill Bill Volume 1! The bit where Beatrix just slaughters the Crazy 88s seems to be the epitome of Wanton Destruction, and while there might not be -hordes- of them, per se, (I think only 50 some odd were killed on screen) there were probably enough killed to qualify for the category. [Good call.]

• Always look on the bright side of death.

• I'm almost at a loss for words looking at these catagories. Almost. Wait. Waaaaait. Yup, I'm now at a loss for words. Good work. [Here's a word, free of charge: Minx]

• Again, the categories do not fail to amuse me. Congrats!

• This is my vote. There are many like it, but this is mine. - Rich :P [This vote was discarded.]

• Thank you for providing us with more gaiety from the damned. [MRFH: More happy damned than you can shake your pants at.]

• Yowza. Die Hard 2 was good. [I know! What were these people smoking?]

• (Witty ramark about how great the site is and/or a weird comment that is supposed to be funny) Ditto

• Okay ramblers... Let's get rambling.

• It was almost impossible to narrow down the number one "Prequel/Sequel That Should Never Have Happened." Phantom Menace, Dumb and Dumberer, Matrix: Revolutions, Grease 2! I mean, come on...

• Come on everbody it's Gibbon time!!!

• In the Prequel/Sequel category, none of those films should have been made! [What would you make fun of then?]

• I was traumatized my most of those scenes in the kid movies. I'm still traumatized.

• Copy, Gold Leader. I'm already on my way out. [Stay on target...]

• San Dimas High School Football Rules! [STILL?!?]

• Slightly dispointed the Camelot song from Holy Grail was not included in "Craziest Musical Number"

• Any comments? No, now go away before I taunt you a second time. But some more Linday Lohan or Tobey Maguire action would be peachy. [I think Kyle's stalking both right now.]

• "I have great faith in fools — self confidence my friends call it." Edgar Allan Poe (P.S. You guys are doing a great job!)

• I'm 25 years old, and I still have nightmares about Watership Down! [Say 10 Hail Marys and donate to the poor, my son.]

• Um...So... Hi.

• So why bother with little red asterisks when every question is required? And is Rich ever going to review Delicatessen? I understand wussing out on a resolution, however I can't help but take it a little personally. Huh. Now I'm remembering my Mutant Award ballot in 1998 (?) when I first requested a review of Brazil. [We feel on the defensive here. Run away!]

• Nice to see "Hero" up here, that was among the top five movies I saw this year :)

• Don’t boil short round in oil (hes so cool!) [Plus, he's short and his name signifies that!]

• My cats breath smells like catfood.

• Long live the MRFH! Huzzah!

• Clerks is one of the best movies ever... bitches. [No need for potty mouth... goober.]

• The best movie with robots that turn into things: Transformers the Movie.

• I spent a full 30 seconds thinking of what to say, so you know this is gonna be good. I'd just like to say that I greatly appreciate what you do for us, the movie-viewing public, for without your kind assistance, there are films I would never have seen. For that, I thank you. [Would you hold me for a while now? You seem so warm and fuzzy!]

• What is Temple of Doom doing in the sequels that should never have happened section? And I must really see the Replacements just for that musical number.

• It makes my pee real sporty

• More Ishtar!

• ne te regarde jamais une grande oiseau jeane dans le cul! [In Babelfish, this translated to: "never look at yourself large a bird jeane in the bottom!" which really explains everything.]

• The actual best bathroom scene would be the one highlight from Gun Shy where Oliver Platt shoots someone's **** off, complaining about pissing contests and shooting contests.

• i sometimes like to jog in the winter.... NAKED!!!!!

• You guys ROCK, I've been a big fan for a number of years. I really enjoy your site and knowing I'm not alone in this big dark world with my undying adoration for cult movies and anything involving Bruce Campbell really helps me sleep some nights. Thanks again and keep up the great work! [Gosh... so many warm fuzzies we're going to start a lint fire from it all!]

• Live Long and Prosper... and see Free Enterprise.

• As far as musicial numbers go where the hell is the crazy ass number form jesus christ vamnpire hunter.

• "i know you are wounded and that is fine, you show me yours and i'll show you mine"

• "Honey, where is my supersuit?"

• Yeah, the Moulin Rouge musicak "like virgin" should have been in the most AWLFUL musical category. [It's full of awls? I'm not following.]

• goo!

• How could you not have any of the greatest horror movies of all time listed??? Ok, Freddy vs. Jason was good, not great, but for best use of a severed limb, Jason delivering one of the final blows to Freddy with FREDDYS OWN ARM/HAND/CLAW THINGY, was great!!

• So much time, so little to do [Agreed. And with that, this year's AMA presentation has come to a close. Good night one and all!]
  Back To MRFH Main Page

Jump To: