7: The Kinder and Gentler MRFHline

In which we the mutants form our very own mutual admiration society. And stuff.

QUESTION 1: If you were reincarnated as a smurf, what would your name be?

JUSTIN: Cruel Dictator of Doom Overlord Smurf

POOLMAN: Freaky Smurf, cause I'd be the only one a foot tall.

KYLE: King Smurf Mob

LISSA: Obsessive Smurf, as anyone who starts the subject of Harry Potter with me can testify.

DREW: Deadpan Smurf.

SUE: Passive-Aggressive Smurf (The sort of smurf who would make people fill out a MRFHline the length of a grad school thesis.)

SHALEN: Freaky Smurph.

NANCY: Bouncy (because I always thought it would be really cool if the smurfs were made of rubber and were all over the place) (and the forest was a trampoline)

QUESTION 2: What is your favorite snack food?

JUSTIN: Hmm... right now, any sort of nut (peanuts, cashews, almond joy...). I'm also a big Trident gum chewer.

POOLMAN: Good, hot, cheesy, pub-style nachos. Oh lordy, I can't resist 'em if I try. So I don't!

KYLE: Right now: black berry yogurt.

LISSA: This answer changes daily. Today it is Sour Patch Kids. But expect chocolate, cookies, quesadillas, chips and seven-layer dip, and anything else that strikes my fancy to be there at some point.

DREW: Cheddar cheese cracker Combos. But since they're about 8000 calories apiece, sub in Baked Doritos most of the time.

SUE: Pop Secret Homestyle Popcorn. And Steak. Is steak a snack food?

SHALEN: Chocolate. No contest. Esp. dark chocolate or fudge.

NANCY: Ben and Jerrys. One pint = one hell of a snack.

QUESTION 3: What is your quest?

JUSTIN: Free cable TV for all, and not to be buried in a suit. Who wants to wear a suit when you're in a coffin rotting? Decay in comfort, is my motto! Shorts and a very comfortable, well-washed t-shirt!

POOLMAN: To find out the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow.

KYLE: Write the great Earth novel (because a global perspective is important).

LISSA: To seek the Holy Grail! (Or failing that, to find a dress that makes me look 20 pounds thinner.)

DREW: To smurf ass and chew bubblesmurf... and I'm all out of bubblesmurf.

SUE: To find out why the little packets of “mixed fruit” jelly at my favorite restaurant sport pictures of a veritable cornucopia of peaches, cherries, pears, oranges and so on, but the ingredient list only admits to apples and grapes. This false advertising smacks of fraud on a virtually cosmic level and has totally destroyed my toast eating experience. Also I want to write the great American novel and ensure world peace, but those are secondary to the jelly issue.

SHALEN: To find a dance partner who will do both West Coast Swing and Argentine Tango.

NANCY: To seek the holy grail, and eat SO MANY freeze pops right now.

Okay, enough about you, Vanity Smurf!

QUESTION 4: HELP! The mysterious vortex has temporarily trapped one of the mutants! While your comrades valiantly initiate a rescue plan (involving bubble gum, duct tape, fishing line, and oddly enough a spotted dinosaur egg), it is up to YOU to enter the transmogrifier and act as your indisposed comrade's duplicate/substitute for a day. Which mutant do you feel most qualified to fill in for and why?

JUSTIN: I would say Pooly, but I'm not sure how steady I'd be walking on those stilts of his. Better to play it safe and go with Drew, because I'd just keep a graphic novel tucked into my waistband, and anytime someone would come up to talk to me, I'd whip it out and start quoting some obscure passage and geeky trivia and the other person would run away screaming. Just as I'm sure it happens in real life. Then, I'd shave my legs and go swimming. See? I'm an awesome Drew!

POOLMAN: I'd fill in for Justin. Partly to satisfy my latent egomania, but also because I think I may just know him best of the Mutant crew, and would be able to keep operations running smoothly. As a bonus, I'm usually asleep in my office anyways, so it's not like anyone would notice I was gone.

KYLE: I’m going to go with Poolman, because I believe I would be most enthusiastic about wearing a kilt for the duration of his absence.

LISSA: Hmmm. I could be Sue because I can imitate her writing style pretty well, and she can do mine. But Sue has Spawn of Mutant 1 and 2, and I'm still in the pre-Spawn stage. While her Spawn are lovely, coping with them might be more than I can handle. Maybe I could be Drew — he seems pretty laid back. Or Kyle. Just insert "boobies" into reviews and talk about hot chicks and never use capitals in the forum, and voila! Instant Kyle. (What, it's not that easy? Fine.) Drew then. Well, except for the fact that I'm a girl.

DREW: Not being pregnant, I'm gonna say not Lissa (no offense, Liss!), and if I filled in for Justin there'd be no new MRFH updates, since I'm computer illiterate. On the other hand, I'm great at bumming around the beach and flirting with cute girls, so... Kyle it is!

SUE: In many respects, I could definitely cover for Lissa. I can write like her, have the whole pregnancy/new Mom schtick pretty well mastered, and I know where she keeps the Pop-Tarts. The downsides are that: 1. I'm not a scientist. 2. my knowledge of Harry Potter is not encyclopaedic. 3. Having gone through the whole childbirth thing, I can think of many other things I'd rather do with my time. Like be eaten by weevils. SO, I think I'd rather take over for Justin. His lovely wife Caramel and I could hang out watching chick flicks and trolling around on Ebay, I could rule the MRFH Forum with an iron fist and picture this: Justin's Guide To Why Romantic Movies Are All That And A Bag Of Chips! Ghostwriting is fun!

SHALEN: Clare. Trapped somewhere deep in my normally submissive outer self is a small but very angry woman just waiting to get out. And she DOESN'T LIKE YOUR MOVIE, Mister Lucas.

NANCY: Justin, because I think it would be a fun challenge to include as many metaphors and similes as possible. I just love 'em!

QUESTION 5: HELP! You're the lunatic who ignored the warning signs (Pooly spent hours finger-painting those, you know,) and fell into the mysterious vortex. One mutant must take over your life until you are successfully - if somewhat messily - extracted. Which one would you prefer it to be, and why?

(NOTE: The answers to the preceding two questions will be entered into the MRFH emergency contingency plan in accordance with new statues enforced by the Dept. Of Homeland Security. In case of an actual emergency, this information can be found tucked under the giant Pez dispenser in Justin's office. Duplicate copies might be located underneath the stack of Reader's Digests in the staff bathrooms.)

JUSTIN: Curse that mysterious vortex. We need to put a grate over it some day. I'm sure pretty much anyone could take over my life, as long as they know how to scream at helpless writers who are missing their deadlines and make them cry. But if I had to pick one... let's say Sue. She'd keep the house tidy and the grammatical fact-checking on submitted reviews spiffy. Plus, we both wear glasses, so she wouldn't arouse suspicion when she put on mine — "Oy. I am wearing these here glasses. They are for magnifying and clarifying visual objects around me. It is good that I wear them. So sayeth my driver's license."

POOLMAN: So many tempting options! Do I go with Sue, so I can amusedly watch her wobble around on my gargantuan legs? Or Shalen, who would no doubt go off and terrorize my wife with legions of her homegrown spiders? I'd probably go with Drew in the end, because we share that same vacant stare.

KYLE: Nancy, because her age pretty much guarantees that we’re on the same level of maturity and humor.

LISSA: Heheheheheh. NOT Sue. Sue does not need to know what it feels like to be eight months pregnant - she's been there, done that. Now… which victim shall I choose? My evil eye is falling on Poolman, who is probably really, really relieved that this is all hypothetical and he doesn't need to be me for a few days. (I'm sure Duckie's quite relieved about that, too!)

DREW: The idea of suddenly gaining an extra foot and a half appeals to me, and in my social circles, the ability to keep up the pace in beer consumption is a must. Plus Lady Luck has mentioned that she thinks she'd probably get along well with PoolGirl, so by extension, the almighty PoolMan it is!

SUE: Once again Lissa is the obvious choice since she knows my kids and has a background involving fuel. But the neighborhood gossipmongers would have a field day — considering her delicate condition. So I think PoolMan would be a pretty classy substitute. His large brooding Canadian presence would come in handy with difficult customers and he would either get along great with my kids or just destroy them in his mighty fist. Besides, I have several household repairs queueing up that I'm sure he could manage with a minimum of effort. He wouldn't even have to get the stepladder out of the garage to clean the gutters!

SHALEN: I'd like Kyle to take over my life, just because it would crack me up to later hear how he went slowly insane being a short, pudgy Christian feminist.

NANCY: Poolman, cause he's Canadian and there's something about that I trust.

QUESTION 6: If you could hang out for a day with one of your fellow mutants, who would it be and why?

JUSTIN: Still need to hook up with Kyle and his psychadelic dreamtrip of a life.

POOLMAN: Probably Kyle. I've met all the other (veteran) staff face to face, it'd be nice to meet those I haven't already. Plus Kyle's got the trippy, free as a hippy, stream of consciousness lifestyle going on, and that could be entertaining. "Hey Pooly, have you ever rode the log flume naked? WOOOHOOOOOO!!!"

KYLE: Obviously it would have to be Justin, so I could randomly get in his face and be all “You think you have the right to rewrite ME!?!?!?!” just to make sure he doesn’t get too cocky.

LISSA: I'm going to be a wimp and say MUTANT SUMMIT IN WISCONSIN! Let's ALL go out to Wisconsin (sorry Sue, but you're central, and you asked the question) and get the whole crew together again. Because the more the merrier. Failing that and being forced to choose just one, I'd probably say Kyle because we've never met.

DREW: Kyle. The fact that it's been raining for 8 days straight on the east coast as I type this might have something to do with it, but mostly it's because with marriage looming just 5 months down the road, I need to go cruising for chicks as much as possible while I still can... and come on, who better to do that with?

SUE: An all-inclusive Mutant Summit would be cooler than a very cool thing. But if I could only pick one - and bearing in mind that I've already broken bread and quoted Python with several - I'm going to go with Shalen. She's got a witty, wry, and slightly subversive personality that I really like. I have a feeling that we'd get along like a house on fire.

SHALEN: Hard choice. I understand the gang are all fun to hang out with as a group. I'd probably love to spend some time with Justin and Sue in particular, especially doing a Mutant Viewing, because I love those and J and S are the ones whose work first inspired me to apply to the site. (Bootlicker.)

NANCY: Kyle, cause we already have an email friendship and I hear he likes milkshakes.

QUESTION 7: In gratitude for the Mutants rescuing their cat from a tree, the corner deli has decided to create a sandwich in our honor. Bearing in mind that all mutants should rightfully be credited for their heroism, what ingredients are necessary for a proper MRFHwich?

JUSTIN: Justin Jerky, PoolMan Pickle, Sue Salami, Kosher Kyle, A Dab 'o Drew, Limburger Lissa, Shalen Shugar, and Nancy Nugat.

POOLMAN: Canadian bacon - of course. Some Detroit diesel. A little spider meat. Some Wisconsin cheese. A dash of chocolate cheesecake ice cream. Some Nair (in Drew's honour - way to go Captain Silkylegs!). All served with a side of grapes. Green ones, naturally.

KYLE: Turkey, cheese, green Jell-o, popcorn, barbeque potato chips, black olives, and pickles.

LISSA: Potato bread, cream cheese, chives, cucumbers, and roast beef. Because that’s what sounds really, really good to me right now.

DREW: Hmm... despising all veggies and condiments as I do, I'm just gonna have to say as many different meats and cheeses as possible. Salami and ham for all the bad, overacted movies we watch; pepperoni for the spicy action scenes; bacon for that Canadian zest; and cheddar, American, and swiss for the cheesy love flicks. Throw in some limburger for all the stinkers we've reviewed over the years and you're in business!

SUE: Make it a Philly Cheesesteak (which covers Liss, Drew and myself just spiffily) on Italian bread (for Justin), with Canadian bacon (PoolMan). Add a side of Boston Baked beans (Nancy) a handful of Sun Chips (Kyle) and a nice Washington grown apple (Shalen) for dessert.

SHALEN: One cut of Long Pork for all the horror, some thinly spread sap for the romance and Disney, a soupcon of caviar for the Bond and other actioners on 2 slices of lembas. Serve with 12 oz. of Romulan ale straight up.

NANCY: Wheat Bread = Justin, cause he holds it all together, and he's really nice, and wheat rhymes with sweet. Poolman = Canadian Bacon. That was too easy. I'm sorry, I'll get more clever later, I woke up at four-thirty today. Kyle = tuna fish, cause he's always in the cupboard, always an option for dinner. Lissa = Mustard, cause she's a ray of sunshine, and sunshine is yellow, and so is mustard. Drew = did you noticed I put tuna, bacon and mustard on the same sandwich? Gross. He'd be the polka dots in the swiss cheese, cause they are really cool but you don't see them while you eat. but it's like a secret coolness that is hidden by sandwich. Drew is secretly cool but he's hidden by sandwich. I don't know. Something like that. Sue = Cheeze Its, cause sometimes I put cheese its on sandwich and it's great, and sometimes I e-mail Sue with surveys and it's great. Shalen = vegimite, cause it's a new thing in my life. (My friend brought me vegimite from Austrailia. And Shalen's new) Nancy = cheese, cause just you wait and see all the puns i'll pull.

QUESTION 8: Name one attribute that you really like or admire about each of your fellow mutants.

JUSTIN: What is this, a hug fest? Who's been hording all the estrogen around here, anyway? Um, PoolMan — He drew my nose the size of a small elephant fetus. And he's a terrific friend. Kyle — Always cracks me up in his reviews. And I think his reviews have some sort of secret code to them that I've yet to crack. Sue — She lassoes words and makes them bow to her will. Lissa — Her Ph.D. makes ALL of us look smart by association! Drew — He showers on a fairly regular basis. Shalen — She dared to call Kyle to task over one of his women-skewing reviews. Nancy — She saved me from certain death, and as a very short Wookiee, I owe her a life debt.

POOLMAN: Drew - beyond the smooth, hairless legs? He is one standup guy. Seems very dependable. Lissa - she's just so... darned... CHEERFUL! It's infectious! Sue - for someone so serious, she's very, very funny. She'll carve you to pieces with her wit if you're not careful. Shalen - I actually admire people who don't have irrational fears. At least those of the eight legged variety. Kyle - once again, I think life's kind of one big Choose Your Own Adventure for this cat, it'd be really fun to get a bit of that on me. Nancy - most chicks just don't get Batman. That's always bothered me. Justin - can't stand the guy. No, wait! He's one of the few people I've met who can demonstrate leadership without seeming like he's trying too hard. Hard to come by. It also helps he's a forgiving friend.

KYLE: Justin – Leadership. Poolman – Enthusiasm. Kyle – He’s just like James Bond in every way. Lissa – Optimistic. Sue – Verbose. Drew – Unflappable. Shalen – Motivated. Nancy – Carefree.

LISSA: Justin: I really admire his faith, but more than that his willingness to speak frankly about his faith without backing down. That kind of conviction and integrity is sadly rare these days. Poolman: A total people person, from what I can tell. Not in that he’s necessarily super-social, but that he has tact (and he’s an engineer!), humor, and is interesting to talk to. Kyle: Definitely the sense of humor. Kyle makes me laugh, even on the days that I really just don't feel like it. And those days, that truly is an accomplishment. Sue: Sue’s a genuinely caring person, above and beyond the norm, I think. She’s very empathetic (which I think is what largely makes her an outstanding writer) and very perceptive when it comes to people. Drew: I’ve said before that Drew is laid-back, but I tease because that’s a quality I really do like. It’s very easy to relax around Drew, because he’s very non-judgmental and very easy going — it’s a quality that really puts other people at ease with themselves. Shalen: She seems like the kind of person that don't take nothing from nobody. Don't get in her way. I like that in a Mutant. Nancy: I've definitely enjoyed her sense of humor thus far!

DREW: Justin's faith, PoolMan's quick wit, Kyle's eccentric individualism, Lissa's super-friendliness (and brownies!), Shalen's spunk, Nancy's geek chic and taste in Jersey movies (Garden State) and shows (Pete and Pete), and Sue's persistence in making people turn in MRFHline answers on time.

SUE: Justin: I am continually awed and inspired by Justin's walk with Christ. He is truly a living witness to, and conduit of, God's love. I also think he looks great in a pirate hat. PoolMan: Very possibly one of the funniest and genuinely nice people I've ever had the good fortune to meet. I'd love to get the opportunity to hang out with him again - on the condition that he never refer to me by THAT NAME again. Capische? Kyle: Brilliant and off-beat in a way that I can only stand back - far back, behind a wall of sandbags and triple thick blast doors - and admire. Lissa: Very probably the most courageous person I've ever met - and I doubt she's ever thought of herself in those terms, so add humility to the equation too. Drew: Has a gift for reaching out to people. His amiability is natural, genuine and rare. Also, he has never been eaten by the Jersey Devil. Shalen: Never having met Shalen in person, her writing reflects both intelligence and forthrightness - which is a hard combination to master without seeming like an egomaniacal twit - which she most certainly ain't. I find her boldness very admirable. Nancy: Has that enviable blend of youth, potential and exhausting enthusiam.

SHALEN: Justin: I just love the sarcasm. It does really inspire me to know another Christian horror watcher, though. Sue: I totally respect that you manage to maintain a presence on a cult film site while being a single Mom. Poolman: The dry sense of humor. (See bio: Not a girl, nor yet a woman. Made me laugh so hard.) Drew and Lissa: I don't really know them well yet, because I haven't harassed, er, corresponded with them like some of the others. I like their bio pictures, tho. I want to stand on rooftops and ride a giant monitor lizard :). Kyle: We don't agree on lots of stuff, but I appreciate that you were brave enough to shoot off a film script to a near-total stranger. And took the criticism with grace afterwards, which is rarer. Oh, and you STILL owe me a CD. Nancy: See Lissa, Drew and. Looking forward to getting to know you. Shalen: I like how you're still breathing.

NANCY: Kyle - the ability to be mildly sexist and have that not really bother me for some reason/the ability to constantly entertain/love of Batman. Justin - the centerpiece of all this nuttiness/mild resemblence to Silent Bob. Poolman - The coolest pictures on the site. Sue - That she reviews movies from my childhood, like *batteries not included and The Beautician and the Beast. Lissa - gawh. She's precious! Drew - he was the first to send me his chipper hellos, and I really appreciated it! Shalen - She's new like me!

QUESTION 9: You have the opportunity to do a mutant viewing with each of the other mutants and you've got the Blockbuster membership card! (Sell out.) Which movie would you inflict on- I mean, enjoy with, each mutant?

JUSTIN: What IS IT WITH THE LISTS?!? I've made grocery lists shorter than this MRFHline. Seriously. PoolMan — Michael Jackson's Moonwalker. Kyle — Thelma and Louise. Lissa — 2001. As long as we have her famous "brownies". Drew — Captain America. Shalen — Electric Boogaloo. Nancy — Ben-Hur. Sue — Showgirls.

POOLMAN: Oh no, not one for each Mutant, one for ALL the Mutants! I would love — absolutely adore — a full transcript of all our mutterings, jokes, and worshippings if we were all to sit down and watch Monty Python's Holy Grail together. We had about half the group at Justin's wedding, it would be a blast to do with the whole crew.

KYLE: Justin – Fletch. Poolman – Plain Clothes. Lissa – The Brood. Sue – White Palace. Drew – The Specials. Shalen – Kingdom of the Spiders. Nancy – LA Story.

LISSA: Justin: This is the hardest one. Hmmm. Something from the 80s, I think. Maybe Ghostbusters. Because while we all love the 80s, none of us appreciate that decade quite like Justin does! Poolman: Lord of the Rings, just because I want to hear his version of the musical! Kyle: Hmmm. The ironic bit of me would say Shallow Hal, but I don’t want to change Kyle - he makes me revel in shallowness. Something with REALLY hot male and female leads. I have no idea what that is. Sue: I'd have to redo Moulin Rouge!, because we both love it. Just watch out for the drool. Drew: Father of the Bride - the Steve Martin version. I love it, and it would probably make Drew happy to watch someone he’s not related to (or about to be related to) having conniptions over wedding plans. Shalen - The Core. Because that movie must be torture for anyone who enjoys sci-fi. (She's new - hazing is required) And I'm sure we could mock it mercilessly. Nancy - What other hazing movies can we inflict? Naked. Because then maybe someone can explain it to me.

DREW: PoolMan's never seen Blazing Saddles - unacceptable, and easily remedied. Lissa - Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, so I can see whether she moons over Sirius as much as she did Faramir. Kyle - The Last Broadcast. As a relative novice, I'm curious to see how a horror veteran would enjoy it. Sue - The Horse Whisperer, to see just how much her equine obsession allows her to forgive in a movie. Nancy - the 60's Batman movie. Courage, old chum! Shalen - Spider-Man, so she could explain to me why he shoots webs out of his wrists instead of his butt. Justin - Howard the Duck. Because I don't want to be the only one who suffered.

SUE: Justin: Star Wars - The Phantom Menace. I do so love to hear a grown man cry. PoolMan: Monty Python's Life of Brian. Oh heck, anything Python would do! Kyle: Batman Begins - Kyle loves it, I think Christian Bale is "hawt". It's all good! Lissa: Blow Dry. Josh Hartnett, Alan Rickman, much fun. Drew: Spider-Man 2 Always good to have an expert in the audience. Shalen: Velvet Goldmine - Maybe Shalen would understand it. I need someone to explain it to me. Nancy: Meatballs - Summer camp and Bill Murray!

SHALEN: Justin: Fist of Legend. I think he might enjoy it as much as I did, and he did watch Hard Boiled. Sue: Sleeping Beauty, but only if we can mock the Disney misogyny and take the Princess Quiz on the dvd together. Poolman: Coyote Ugly, because I REALLY want to hear your reaction to this one. Heh heh. Drew: Um... The Replacements? Dunno. Lissa: The ORIGINAL Shall We Dance. You know, the one from JAPAN. With NO J. LO. Kyle: That gay serial killer flick we discussed. That would be hilarious. Nancy: Not sure yet.

NANCY: Probably The Shining. What can I say, I'm obsessive?

QUESTION 10: Name a review, not your own, that you thought was particularly brilliant.

JUSTIN: I think all of the Matrix Revolutions reviews share equal praise when it comes to long-winded rantings against the franchise. And the use of a very special word, I shall not repeat here.

POOLMAN: For sheer novelty, I always laugh when I read Clare's Matrix Revolutions review. That took some sneaky maneuvring to get by Censor J. For amusement, I turn to Justin's Doom Generation review... that first paragraph is probably one of my favourite bits of writing on the entire site.

KYLE: Drew’s review of Zero Effect.

LISSA: Justin’s Braveheart review always sticks out in my memory, but I also have a special place in my heart for Kyle’s Alien vs. Predator review, just because of the absolute honesty there.

DREW: Lissa's recent list of things she'd rather do than watch The Day After Tomorrow again was even more inspired than usual for her, making me wish I'd thought of it first.

SUE: I loved Lissa's Lemony Snicket review. That's a Pepsi snarfer. Her infamous panic attack over Open Water was great too. The picture was worth a thousand words all by itself.

SHALEN: Justin's review of Carnosaur. Because the word "scientistess" is so wrong it's funny. Also the word "Carnosaaaaur!" had me going for a long time.

NANCY: The collective Hudson Hawk reviews actually made me get up and go rent the movie. But looking back they were so simplistic. Perhaps there, there is quick simplicity, is where the real genius lies.

QUESTION 11: Name a feature, not your own, that you thought was particularly brilliant.

JUSTIN: The MRFH Haunted House, done last year by Drew and Kyle, deserves special mention for a load of writing, hard work and interestingness.

POOLMAN: Like everyone else, just as I was getting hooked on Frozen in Carbonite, Justin decided to yank it, Firefly-style. I also really, really enjoyed Sue's A Mutant Goes A-Travellin' articles... it's so much fun reading about how all the kooks around here get along when I'm not around to maintain order and sanity.

KYLE: Lissa’s “From Books to Movies: A Geek’s Paradise”.

LISSA: There are two, and neither of them by current Mutants. Clare's You Know, That Guys will always have a special place in my heart. The reason for that (aside from them giving the spotlight to unappreciated actors!) is that that's how I even found MRFH in the first place. It was right after I'd seen October Sky and I'd been very impressed with Chris Cooper's acting. I did a search for him, and Clare's YKTG with him popped up. Any site that was cool enough to honor Chris Cooper needed to be investigated more. I also really, really enjoyed DNAerror's comics (especially the Return of the Killer Kym, which never was finished), and the talent that went into making those. Not only the drawing, but the humor. ("This isn't answering the Gameboy question.")

DREW: The Dissection of Movie Posters features have been an unqualified success in my eyes, proof that you don't need to write a novel to be hilarious.

SUE: The original Mutant Summits with Justin and PoolMan, complete with photographic evidence remains one of my favorite places to surf when I need a good chuckle.

SHALEN: Justin's Guide to Why People Die in Horror Movies. I... just... love it. It's witty, it's true, and it still shows a deep love for the source material, like all truly good parodies.

NANCY: I bookmarked the How To Survive Movie Marathons 'cause I think that's really really important.

QUESTION 12: Last but not least. MRFH - The Musical! The director decides that every mutant needs their own theme song. It's your job to assign them. Go for it.

JUSTIN: Lists. Why'd it have to be lists? PoolMan -- "I'm A Slave 4 U" by Britney Spears. Kyle -- "These Boots Are Made For Walkin'". Drew -- The Thundercats theme song. Sue -- "Now You're A Man!" by Trey Parker. Lissa -- "Amish Paradise" by Weird Al. Nancy -- "You're the Best Around" from Karate Kid. Shalen -- "Rock 'n Roll Hoochie Koo".

POOLMAN: Kyle - California Girls, as though that needs any explanation . Lissa - She Blinded Me With Science, because frankly, I would find that amusing to no end. Nancy - The X Files Theme, because she's still a mystery to me! Sue - See My Vest, because she loves her dog so much, and yet so regularly wants to kill it. Same could be said of her children. Shalen - The 60's Spider Man Theme, go ahead and guess why. Drew - The Strange Brew Theme, because he's still got a chance at becoming an honourary Canadian. Justin - You've Got a Friend in Me, because he'd probably fall for it. ;)

KYLE: Justin – “Simply the Best” by Tina Turner. Poolman – “Peace Frog” by The Doors. Kyle – “Aside” by The Weakerthans. Lissa – “The Future’s So Bright I Gotta Wear Shades” by Timbuk 3. Sue – “Superman” by R.E.M. Drew – “Hot for Teacher” by Van Halen. Shalen – “If You Start Me Up” by The Rolling Stones. Nancy – “Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots Part 1” by The Flaming Lips.

LISSA: Justin: "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life". Poolman: "Blame Canada!" Kyle: "How Bizarre". Sue: "Who Let the Dogs Out?" (Please remember she owns two greyhounds!). Drew: “Nightswimming”. Shalen- The Itsy Bitsy Spider. Look- this question is HARD, okay? Nancy: The Pointless (Yet Poignant) Crisis of a Co-ed.

DREW: Justin: Science Fiction Double Feature covered by Me First and the Gimme Gimmes. Kyle: Pimpin' Ain't Easy by Big Daddy Kane. PoolMan: Blame Canada by Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Lissa: Ode To Harry Potter (With Love From Ginny Weasley) by Switchblade Kittens. Sue: Age Ain't Nothing But A Number by Aaliyah. Shalen: Theme to Spider-Man covered by The Ramones. Nancy: Hey Sandy by Polaris. Drew: It's The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine) by R.E.M.

SUE: Justin - The Darth Vader theme from the Star Wars soundtrack. PoolMan - The Lumberjack Song. Kyle - The theme music from the original Bat Man series. Drew - Born In The U.S.A. - I had to use a Springsteen song! Lissa - On Wisconsin! (I, who am about to die, salute you!) Shalen - Be Prepared - The Lion King soundtrack. Nancy - Girls Just Want To Have Fun - Cyndi Lauper.

SHALEN: Justin: Bach's Toccatta in D. Which hasn't been called that since Fantasia and Night on Bald Mountain. Sue: "If They Could Only Know the You that We Know" from Corpse Bride. Poolman: Monty Python's "Meaning of Life". Drew: "Mission: Impossible". Lissa: "Unchained Melody". Kyle: The Bond Theme. Of course. Me: "Sing Sing Sing" (Ba dop BOP dop bop BOP Dop bob BADDAWADDAWAAAAAA...) Nancy: I don’t know.

NANCY: Justin - When Doves Cry (WHY NOT?!?!) by Prince. Poolman - Another Postcard by BNL. Kyle - Bad by Michael Jackson. Lissa - Walking on Sunshine! Drew - something from the Space Jam soundtrack. Sue - Hot Blooded by Foreigner? WHY NOT!?!? Shalen - Be Prepared from The Lion King. Nancy - Mrs. Awesome - The Song.