Hudson Hawk Quotes

Note: I have seperated quotes with more offensive language to put at the bottom of this page.

Narrarator: The time was 1481. The artist was Leonardo da Vinci. The guy on the donkey's just a guy on a donkey.

Hawk: But I want to do community service. I want to teach the handicapped how to yodel.

Tommy: Where's the kiss?
Hawk: Get away from me.
Tommy: No tongue this time. I promise.

Hawk: If I don't get a cappucino soon, I'm going to strangle somebody.
Tommy: You still got a thing for those unmasculine European coffees? Here's your buddy.
[hands him a cappucino]
Hawk: The Man knows! The Man knows!

Hawk: Tommy, you took down Captain Bob's steering wheel?

Hawk: [starting to cut a hole in the glass, looks at Tommy] I'd better make the hole bigger.
Tommy: Don't worry, bonehead. I'm wearing my girdle.

[looking at the video room]
Tommy: They record everything video survailence takes in.
Hawk: Yes, I can see that, Master Thief.

Tommy: We got about five minutes and change.
Hawk: 5:32. Swinging on a star.
Tommy: You know, they invented something when you were in. It's called a watch.

Hawk: [before having to jump off of a building] You know, I can't tell you how happy I am that you covered our tracks!

Hawk: Gates tries to blackmail me, you ask me 'did I miss anything?'. Gates gets killed and you say 'did I miss anything?'. I bet you went up to Mrs. Lincoln at Ford Theater and ask 'How was the show? Did I miss anything?'

Hawk: You know, after all these years I still get goosbumps going to these auctions. The paintings, the sculptures, the things that aren't really paintings or sculptures.

Hawk: Is looking like a constipated warthog a prerequisite for working in the art world?
Anna: [getting up] Some are more constipated than others.

Darwin: Outbid by my own wench!
Minerva: Don't hate me, baby.

[Hawk saves Andie from a pillar]
Anna: That was bold of you. You didn't have to do that.
Hawk: It was nothing. Anyone would have done the same thing.
Anna: No, I mean you didn't have to tackle me and rip my dress.

[Hawk is being dragged behind an ambulance]
Girl in passing car: Hey mister, are you going to die?

MY NAME IS KIT KAT. THIS IS NOT A DREAM.

Hawk: Don't I know you?
George: The last time you saw me I was bald, with a beard and no moustache. And a different nose. So if you don't recognize me, I won't be offended.
Hawk: My high school spanish teacher?

George: My employer wants to see you.
Hawk: The President?
George: No. Someone powerful.

Darwin: What can I tell you - I'm the villan!

Hawk: I guess we see who wears the penis in this family.

Minerva: Bunny, ball-ball.
Hawk: [Bunny is biting his crotch] I think Bunny's got today's ball-balls.
Minerva: Bad Bunny!
Hawk: Bunny, you weren't that bad. Just two more minutes!

Hawk: The Vatican, robbing the freakin' Vatican. The nuns at St. Agnus predicted this.

[Kid hitting elephant against stairs]
Mom: Stop that! You're embarrassing your country.

Anna: As you know, the DiVinci Codex has lived in the Vatican for centuries, and will remain here for centuries to come.
Hawk: [softly in falsetto] That's what you think!

Anna: Are you going to tell me what you did back there, or are you going to blame it on that stuffed animal?
Hawk: Pokey? Can you believe that kooky elephant?

Cardinal: The Vatican has spoiled the advances of pirates and terrorists. We will not lie down for some schmuck from New Jersey!

George: Rome - I had my first bare-handed strangulation here. Communist politian. God, I miss Communism! The Red Threat? People were scared, the agency had respect, and I got laid every night.

George: We blow up space shuttles for breakfast. You and your friend Tommy would be no more than a late-afternoon Triscuit.

BEWARE THE BLUE WIRE

Butterfinger: Hey, Mr. Hawk, I got your stamps.
Hawk: [in cartoon voice] Good, Yogi.

Hawk: They had the worst ketchup when I was in prison. [winces] Anna: Prison?
Hawk: I was a warden?
Anna: Huh-uh.

Anna: I have a thing for sinners.
Hawk: I have a thing for sinning.

Hawk: It's been a really long time for me. Outside of a friendly dog yesterday morning, it's been a slow decade. If I don't make love every ten years, I get cranky.

[Crucifix lights up]: Attenciones! Attenciones!
Hawk: Catholic girls are scary.

Almond Joy: What's going on in there?
Butterfinger: You want me to rape them?
Snickers: Just read your book, Butterfinger.
Butterfinger: Not on a boat, not with a goat...

Anna: Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It's been 1200 hours since my last confession.
Cardinal: Hit me with your best shot.

Cardinal: Oh, the Pope warned me never to trust the CIA!

Hawk: I want to be treated like an adult.
Darwin: That's fair. Now go to your room.

Darwin: Alchemy is the business term for the 90's.

Minerva: Markets will crash, crash. Financial empires will crumble, crumble.
Hawk: Except yours, yours.

Minerva: ...on display for three days only at the Louvre in Paris.
Hawk: As opposed to the Louvre in Wisconsin?

Hawk: You better be glad I don't hit women. Assuming that you are a woman, because from now on I'm not taking anything for granted!

[Hawk and Tommy are paralysied and looking at the front page of the USA Today]
Tommy: Dammit, the Yanks lose again!
Hawk: How'd the Mets do?
Tommy: [to captors] Can you turn to section B?

[Hawk finds out Anna is a nun]
Anna: It doesn't mean that I don't love you.
Hawk: Oh, no, you love me, it's your job! You probably love Butterfingers over there!
Anna: In a weird sort of Catholic way, I do.

Anna: I feel like a dolphin who's never tasted melted snow. What does the color blue taste like? Bobo knows - HAHAHAHA! I must speak with the dolphins now: eeeee-eeee-eeeeeeeeee!!!

Darwin: Yo Flipper! A damsel in distress implies that there is some well-hung Dudly Do-Right galloping up to save you.

Tommy: So what do you say, Eddie? Two and a half minutes to save Anna, Three and a half to save the world?
Hawk: Six-oh-oh. Side by Side?

Mirvina: I think it's time for you to report to the head office in heaven, Sis. If you see the Big Guy, tell him he's a loser!
Anna: That's it!

I ALWAYS LIKED YOU

George: [going over a cliff] My pension!

Darwin: If DiVinci was alive today, he'd be eating microwave sushi naked with us in the back of a limosine.

Darwin: History, Tradition, Culture - are not concepts, these are trophies I keep in my den as paperweights!

[Anna nearly shoots Hawk]
Hawk: HEY! Thou shalt not kill! Thou shalt not kill!

Hawk: Bunny! Ball-Ball! [Fires dog out of the window]

Hawk: Anna? Can I ask you something?
Anna: Sure.
Hawk: Will you play Nintendo with me?
Anna: I can't think of anybody I'd rather play Nintendo with.