dayName = new Array ("Sunday", "Monday", "Tuesday", "Wednesday", "Thursday", "Friday", "Saturday")
monName = new Array ("January", "February", "March", "April", "May", "June", "July", "August", "September", "October", "November", "December")
now = new Date
Jan = new Array
Jan[1] = 'January 1st is Sphinxy Memorial Day'
Jan[2] = 'January 2nd is Romantic Ossuary Day'
Jan[3] = 'January 3rd is Go Psycho On John Knowles Day'
Jan[4] = 'January 4th is Hands Off Our Womens Day'
Jan[5] = 'January 5th is Take The Draw Day'
Jan[6] = 'January 6th is Take A Field Trip To Your Local Prison Day'
Jan[7] = 'January 7th is Overworked Metaphor Day'
Jan[8] = 'January 8th is My Sixteenth Birthday'
Jan[9] = 'January 9th is Make Darn Well Sure There\'s Only One Day'
Jan[10] = 'January 10th is Grrrl Power Day'
Jan[11] = 'January 11th is Kym Memorial Day'
Jan[12] = 'January 12th is Shave The Whales Day'
Jan[13] = 'January 13th is Butt Kissing Day'
Jan[14] = 'January 14th is The Subs Are Alright Day'
Jan[15] = 'January 15th is Car Upholstry Cleaning Day'
Jan[16] = 'January 16th is Freedom From Jack Palance Day'
Jan[17] = 'January 17th is Your Day Off'
Jan[18] = 'January 18th is Ship Bob Off To Another Planet Day'
Jan[19] = 'January 19th is Day Of Writing Odes To Your Favorite Horror Films'
Jan[20] = 'January 20th is Night of the Zombie Cats'
Jan[21] = 'January 21st is Philadelphia Mass Turbulance of 1947 Anniversary'
Jan[22] = 'January 22nd is MRFH-Sanctioned Cross-Dressing Day'
Jan[23] = 'January 23rd is Viva Las Vegas Day'
Jan[24] = 'January 24th is Fan-tastic Fan-atics Day'
Jan[25] = 'January 25th is Dive, Dive, Dive Day'
Jan[26] = 'January 26th is Spiral Day'
Jan[27] = 'January 27th is Boycott Cinematic Suckatude Day'
Jan[28] = 'January 28th is Love Your Water Day'
Jan[29] = 'January 29th is Go Insane And Take A Family Member With You Day'
Jan[30] = 'January 30th is Wear Your Frank The Pug T-Shirts With Pride Day'
Jan[31] = 'January 31st is Learn The Eighties, Love The Eighties Day'
Feb = new Array
Feb[1] = 'February 1st is Convert Someone\'s Sexual Orientation With A Moving Speech Day'
Feb[2] = 'February 2nd is Evil Groundhog Day'
Feb[3] = 'February 3rd is Pat A Spiral On Its Head Day'
Feb[4] = 'February 4th is Vacation Inside A Celebrity\'s Head Day'
Feb[5] = 'February 5th is Conquer Your Oceanophobia Day'
Feb[6] = 'February 6th is National Day Of Vampire Gunman Awareness'
Feb[7] = 'February 7th is Boycott Gross Turkey Week'
Feb[8] = 'February 8th is Hawaiian Shirt Day'
Feb[9] = 'February 9th is Conform, Be Shallow, And Be Materialistic Day'
Feb[10] = 'February 10th is Knowing Is Half The Battle Day'
Feb[11] = 'February 11th is Headhunter Enthusiasts Day'
Feb[12] = 'February 12th is Be Excellent To Each Other And Party On Dudes Day'
Feb[13] = 'February 13th is Cuddle With A Spider Day'
Feb[14] = 'February 14th is A National Day Of Remembrance For Justin\'s Break-Ups'
Feb[15] = 'February 15th is Let Kyle Inspire You Day'
Feb[16] = 'February 16th is Riddles In The Dark Day'
Feb[17] = 'February 17th is Day of CMFS Sufferers Support'
Feb[18] = 'February 18th is Lawn Gnome Kleptomania Day'
Feb[19] = 'February 19th is Kangaroo Equality Day'
Feb[20] = 'February 20th is Start The Freaking Movie Already! Day'
Feb[21] = 'February 21st is Motivational Speaking Day'
Feb[22] = 'February 22nd is The Thin Line Between Persistence And Stalking Day'
Feb[23] = 'February 23rd is Speak Jive For A Change Day'
Feb[24] = 'February 24th is Preach the Dangers of Naked Acid Rain Dancing Day'
Feb[25] = 'February 25th is Joust On A Bike Day'
Feb[26] = 'February 26th is Trust Advertising Day'
Feb[27] = 'February 27th is Base Humor Day'
Feb[28] = 'February 28th is Scar Your Child For Life With A Crippling Moniker Day'
Feb[29] = 'February 29th Does Not Exist. Whoa.'
Feb[30] = ""
Feb[31] = ""
Mar = new Array
Mar[1] = 'March 1st is Poultry Overbite Day'
Mar[2] = 'March 2nd is A Moment Of Silence For The Millions Affected By Affleck'
Mar[3] = 'March 3rd is Rock \'n Roll Graduation Day'
Mar[4] = 'March 4th is The Best Winter Retreat'
Mar[5] = 'March 5th is Envy Cool Jobs Day'
Mar[6] = 'March 6th is Hippo Riverdance Day'
Mar[7] = 'March 7th is Appreciate Your Better Half By Loafing Off Day'
Mar[8] = 'March 8th is Pregnant Yak Presents Day'
Mar[9] = 'March 9th is We HEART Natalie Portman Day'
Mar[10] = 'March 10th is Corathbu\'s Full Moon'
Mar[11] = 'March 11th is Don\'t Tease The Walken Day'
Mar[12] = 'March 12th is Give A Friend Some Pepto-Bismol Day'
Mar[13] = 'March 13th is Anty Memorial Day'
Mar[14] = 'March 14th is All Glory To Shemp Day'
Mar[15] = 'March 15th is Get In Touch With Your Inner Body Day'
Mar[16] = 'March 16th is Rosco\'s Chicken and Waffles Day'
Mar[17] = 'March 17th is Fight Irish Assassins Day'
Mar[18] = 'March 18th is Trust Is For Wussies Day'
Mar[19] = 'March 19th is The Celebration of Nature\'s Special Time'
Mar[20] = 'March 20th is Subjugation of All Critics To MRFH Day'
Mar[21] = 'March 21st is It\'s Not You, It\'s Actually Hot In Here Day'
Mar[22] = 'March 22nd is Jar-Jar Veterans Day'
Mar[23] = 'March 23rd is Right To Bear Arms And Arm Toothy Worms Day'
Mar[24] = 'March 24th is Twinkie Wiener Sandwich Day'
Mar[25] = 'March 25th is This Is Jack\'s Day'
Mar[26] = 'March 26th is Wally World Opening Day'
Mar[27] = 'March 27th is Parade Of The Funky Towel'
Mar[28] = 'March 28th is Visit A Wax Museum Day'
Mar[29] = 'March 29th is Do A Movie Marathon Day'
Mar[30] = 'March 30th is Tour French Canada Day'
Mar[31] = 'March 31st is Call Everyone "Dude" Day'
Apr = new Array
Apr[1] = 'April 1st is Ad Banners Cure Cancer Day'
Apr[2] = 'April 2nd is Canadian Liberation Of Popcorn Day'
Apr[3] = 'April 3rd is Spell Kenneth Branagh Any Way You Like Day'
Apr[4] = 'April 4th is Watch WAY Too Many Horror Movies Day'
Apr[5] = 'April 5th is Manhandle A Muppet Day'
// end of words2
Apr[6] = 'April 6th is Twisted Fairy Tales Day'
Apr[7] = 'April 7th is Ban Family Circus Day'
Apr[8] = 'April 8th is Hug A Policeman Day'
Apr[9] = 'April 9th is Aspiring Cult Filmmakers Day'
Apr[10] = 'April 10th is Never, Ever Grow Up Day'
Apr[11] = 'April 11th is Nerfherders Anonymous Day'
Apr[12] = 'April 12th is Just Say No To Mullets Day'
Apr[13] = 'April 13th is Subliminal give your money to mrfh Messages Awareness Day'
Apr[14] = 'April 14th is Your Princess Is In Another Castle Today'
Apr[15] = 'April 15th is Brady Back Taxes Day'
Apr[16] = 'April 16th is Chocobos v. Moogles Case Anniversary'
Apr[17] = 'April 17th is Fashionable Knives Day'
Apr[18] = 'April 18th is Generic Day'
Apr[19] = 'April 19th is Meddling Matchmakers Day Of Recognition'
Apr[20] = 'April 20th is Colorado Pride Day'
Apr[21] = 'April 21st is Splash Around In Toxic Waste To Gain Superpowers Day'
Apr[22] = 'April 22nd is The Annual Collegiate Smoke-A-Thon'
Apr[23] = 'April 23rd is God Doesn\'t Like Nazis Day'
Apr[24] = 'April 24th is Stony\'s Birthday'
Apr[25] = 'April 25th is Be A Computer Programmer, Save The World Day'
Apr[26] = 'April 26th is Discover Your Superhero Powers Day'
Apr[27] = 'April 27th is Everybody Point At Miami And Laugh Day'
Apr[28] = 'April 28th is Talk To The Hand Day'
Apr[29] = 'April 29th is Night Of Leaving a Cookie For Your Bed Monster'
Apr[30] = 'April 30th is Abnormal Psychology and Flying Razor Balls Day'
Apr[31] = ""
May = new Array
May[1] = 'May 1st is Temp Workers UNITE! Day'
May[2] = 'May 2nd is Stand On A Desk And See The World A Bit Differently Day'
May[3] = 'May 3rd is Night of the Sucky Sequels'
May[4] = 'May 4th is Run Away! Day'
May[5] = 'May 5th is Mall Cop Memorial Day'
May[6] = 'May 6th is Celebration Of Being The Best Around'
May[7] = 'May 7th is Beware The Ides Of Chaps'
May[8] = 'May 8th is First Warp Jump Day'
May[9] = 'May 9th is It Is Okay To Have A Mid-Life Crisis Day'
May[10] = 'May 10th is Midichlorian Madness Day'
May[11] = 'May 11th is Law Enforcement Professionalism Day'
May[12] = 'May 12th is Embrace Your Cuddly Big Brother Day'
May[13] = 'May 13th is Vanilla Ice Week'
May[14] = 'May 14th is Worldwide Short-Term Memory Day Of... That... Who Are You?'
May[15] = 'May 15th is Pick Up A Baker\'s Dozen of Ghosts Day'
May[16] = 'May 16th is Dance Around A Real Big Pile Of Fish Day'
May[17] = 'May 17th is Death To Wesley Day'
May[18] = 'May 18th is Distrust All Computers Day'
May[19] = 'May 19th is Love Your Animals In The Right Way Day'
May[20] = 'May 20th is Tour Your Local Chinese Hells Day'
May[21] = 'May 21st is National Day of Affleck\'s Da BOMB, Yo!'
May[22] = 'May 22nd is Doogie Day'
May[23] = 'May 23rd is Indulge In Kyle\'s Tom Cruise Fantasies Day'
May[24] = 'May 24th is God Endorses Nintendo Day'
May[25] = 'May 25th is Survive An Ensemble Cast In A Horror Flick Day'
May[26] = 'May 26th is Worldwide Garofalo Fart Day'
May[27] = 'May 27th is Praise A Pug Day'
May[28] = 'May 28th is Jacket Metaphor Day'
May[29] = 'May 29th is Androgyny Day'
May[30] = 'May 30th is Command An Army Of Rats Day'
May[31] = 'May 31st is Appreciate Your Peck Day'
Jun = new Array
Jun[1] = 'June 1st is Remember The Singing Telegram! Memorial Day'
Jun[2] = 'June 2nd is Police-Sanctioned Day Of Running People Over'
Jun[3] = 'June 3rd is Romantic Coincidences Day'
Jun[4] = 'June 4th is Welcome Our New Alien Overlords Day'
Jun[5] = 'June 5th is Day of Taking Your Dreams Back'
Jun[6] = 'June 6th is Flexible Profanity Day'
Jun[7] = 'June 7th is Anniversary of Kirk\'s Final Frontier'
Jun[8] = 'June 8th is Open Hunting Season On Ewoks'
Jun[9] = 'June 9th is Share Living Space With Superman Day'
Jun[10] = 'June 10th is Name Your Kid Nick Day'
Jun[11] = 'June 11th is Welcome Our Alien Liberators Day'
Jun[12] = 'June 12th is Clean Out Your Car Day'
Jun[13] = 'June 13th is Never Give Up Day'
Jun[14] = 'June 14th is Worldwide Celebration of Sperm'
Jun[15] = 'June 15th is Day Of Thrid-World Support'
Jun[16] = 'June 16th is Pause. For. Every. Word. Day.'
Jun[17] = 'June 17th is Show Jack Black The Love Day'
Jun[18] = 'June 18th is Spring Break In Cancun'
Jun[19] = 'June 19th is Laser Envy Day'
Jun[20] = 'June 20th is Plays Make You Sterile Day'
Jun[21] = 'June 21st is Anniversary of the First Pee On Mars'
Jun[22] = 'June 22nd is Día De los Muertos Estúpidos'
Jun[23] = 'June 23rd is The Annual Sewer Field Trip'
Jun[24] = 'June 24th is Rediscover Your Love For The Light Switch Day'
Jun[25] = 'June 25th is Tonguey Rules Day'
Jun[26] = 'June 26th is Bet The House Day'
Jun[27] = 'June 27th is Pizza-Based Double Entendres Day'
Jun[28] = 'June 28th is Katy Girls Overpower All Day'
Jun[29] = 'June 29th is Give A Friend A Naughty Phone Call Day'
Jun[30] = 'June 30th is Day of Puberty Love'
Jun[31] = ""
Jul = new Array
Jul[1] = 'July 1st is C-Day: The Canadian Invasion Begins'
Jul[2] = 'July 2nd is Half-Related And Dating Don\'t Mean Incest Day'
Jul[3] = 'July 3rd is The End Of The World'
Jul[4] = 'July 4th is Fat George Is A Fribble Day'
Jul[5] = 'July 5th is Learn Your Seven Deadly Sins Day'
Jul[6] = 'July 6th is Cannibals Are People Too Day'
Jul[7] = 'July 7th is Make Your Own Merchandise Day'
Jul[8] = 'July 8th is Anniversary Of Kyle\'s First Kiss'
Jul[9] = 'July 9th is Space Amish Day'
Jul[10] = 'July 10th is Squash A Fairy Day'
Jul[11] = 'July 11th is Fascist Dance Night'
Jul[12] = 'July 12th is Women Never Stop To Ask For Directions Day'
Jul[13] = 'July 13th is Go Get The BALL! Day'
Jul[14] = 'July 14th is Abuse An Answering Machine Day'
Jul[15] = 'July 15th is Find A Reason To Never Take A Shower Again Day'
Jul[16] = 'July 16th is The End Of The World. Again.'
Jul[17] = 'July 17th is Feast of the King Prawn'
Jul[18] = 'July 18th is Celebration of Awkward Dating Setups'
Jul[19] = 'July 19th is Be A Kid At Any Age Day'
Jul[20] = 'July 20th is National Slumber Party Night'
Jul[21] = 'July 21st is Hooray For Monkeys Day!'
Jul[22] = 'July 22nd is 3.14159265 Day'
Jul[23] = 'July 23rd is Oompa Loompa Memorial Day'
Jul[24] = 'July 24th is Kentucky Talking Chicken Day'
Jul[25] = 'July 25th is Feed Your Pets After Midnight Day'
Jul[26] = 'July 26th is Parka Like You Mean It Day'
Jul[27] = 'July 27th is Visit A Quiet Slice Of Hell Day'
Jul[28] = 'July 28th is Equal Rights For Zombie Samurai Day'
Jul[29] = 'July 29th is Learn History From Your Local Rock Star Day'
Jul[30] = 'July 30th is Scammers Suck Day'
Jul[31] = 'July 31st is Sound DOES Travel Through Space Day'
Aug = new Array
Aug[1] = 'August 1st is Say Hello To Everyone Today'
Aug[2] = 'August 2nd is Wack A Duck Day (British Holiday)'
Aug[3] = 'August 3rd is Nosferatu Blood Drive Day'
Aug[4] = 'August 4th is Photoshop The Perfect Girl Day'
Aug[5] = 'August 5th is Dog Your Cats Day'
Aug[6] = 'August 6th is Get Sushi And Don\'t Pay Day'
Aug[7] = 'August 7th is The World Ends With A Whimper Day'
Aug[8] = 'August 8th is Worship The Remote Day'
Aug[9] = 'August 9th is Behold The Power Of Canuck Fury Day'
Aug[10] = 'August 10th is Make A Happy List Day'
Aug[11] = 'August 11th is Get To Know Your Hoojibs Day'
Aug[12] = 'August 12th is Victorian Science Rocks Day'
Aug[13] = 'August 13th is Force A Scallywag To Walk The Plank Day'
Aug[14] = 'August 14th is Better Living Through Druggitry Day'
Aug[15] = 'August 15th is Wear Your Sunglasses At Night Night'
Aug[16] = 'August 16th is Duck And Cover Day'
Aug[17] = 'August 17th is Men Are Lying Scum, Accept It Day'
Aug[18] = 'August 18th is Sing A Jingle Day'
Aug[19] = 'August 19th is National Panty Raid Day'
Aug[20] = 'August 20th is Justin\'s Remembrance Of Christmas'
Aug[21] = 'August 21st is Greek Heritage Day'
Aug[22] = 'August 22nd is Settle All Bar Bets Once And For All Day'
Aug[23] = 'August 23rd is Mock A Pretentious Film Student Day'
Aug[24] = 'August 24th is Peek Over The Brink Of Hell Day'
Aug[25] = 'August 25th is Beat Someone To Death With Their Own Shoes Day'
Aug[26] = 'August 26th is Festival Of Pina Colada Butt Lotion'
Aug[27] = 'August 27th is True Love Is Two Dimensional Day'
Aug[28] = 'August 28th is Your High School Class Reunion'
Aug[29] = 'August 29th is Be Nice To Your Bum Day'
Aug[30] = 'August 30th is Get An Education In Chicken Killing Day'
Aug[31] = 'August 31st is Put Away Childish Things Day'
Sep = new Array
Sep[1] = 'September 1st is The Only Good Gorilla Is A Dead Gorilla Day'
Sep[2] = 'September 2nd is Discover Your Carpet Types Day'
Sep[3] = 'September 3rd is Long Live Grunge Day'
Sep[4] = 'September 4th is Experience Some Puberty Love Day'
Sep[5] = 'September 5th is Preach The Evils Of French Kissing Day'
Sep[6] = 'September 6th is Wearing Makeup And Skirts Can Be Manly Day'
Sep[7] = 'September 7th is Find Out How Bad Movies Can Be Day'
Sep[8] = 'September 8th is Shakesbeer Day'
Sep[9] = 'September 9th is Last Day Of Camp'
Sep[10] = 'September 10th is Rat Dog Wacking Day'
Sep[11] = 'September 11th is Battle Of The Ko-Dan Armada'
Sep[12] = 'September 12th is Day of Damn Dirty Apes'
Sep[13] = 'September 13th is R-r-r-revenge Day'
Sep[14] = 'September 14th is Oils, Muscles, and You Day'
Sep[15] = 'September 15th is The Annual Softball Match Between The MRFH Staff And Roger Ebert'
Sep[16] = 'September 16th is International Night Of Unbridled Wenching'
Sep[17] = 'September 17th is Hockey Night In Canada'
Sep[18] = 'September 18th is The Day The World Stood Still To Hear William Shatner Rap'
Sep[19] = 'September 19th is Run Up A Phone Bill Spreading Evil Day'
Sep[20] = 'September 20th is Smoke For Your Health Day'
Sep[21] = 'September 21st is Treasure Your Ears Day'
Sep[22] = 'September 22nd is Learn The Greatest Secret Day'
Sep[23] = 'September 23rd is Update Your Virus Checker Day'
Sep[24] = 'September 24th is Make Out To A Swayze Tune Kind Of Night'
Sep[25] = 'September 25th is Stuck On A Satellite With Nothing To Read Day'
Sep[26] = 'September 26th is Getting A 4.0 No Matter What Day'
Sep[27] = 'September 27th is Crash A Country Club Day'
Sep[28] = 'September 28th is National Day Of Getting Drunk While Doing Commentary Tracks'
Sep[29] = 'September 29th is Sniff Your Armpits On A Movie Poster Day'
Sep[30] = 'September 30th is Potato Vengeance Day'
Sep[31] = ""
Oct = new Array
Oct[1] = 'October 1st is Worship Wushu Day'
Oct[2] = 'October 2nd is Spray A Friend With Fire-Retardant Chemicals Day'
Oct[3] = 'October 3rd is New Mail Order Bride Catalogues Arrive Day'
Oct[4] = 'October 4th is Pudding Pride Day'
Oct[5] = 'October 5th is The MMORPG Parade'
Oct[6] = 'October 6th is Cure For Ass Twitching Day'
Oct[7] = 'October 7th is Blur The Line Between Reality And Fantasy Day'
Oct[8] = 'October 8th is Homoerotic Gunplay Day'
Oct[9] = 'October 9th is The Festival of the Sorting Hat'
Oct[10] = 'October 10th is Moment Of The Hyperactive Hyperkinetic Jedi (all hats off)'
Oct[11] = 'October 11th is Day of the Golden Tickets'
Oct[12] = 'October 12th is Red Ruskies Invasion Anniversary'
Oct[13] = 'October 13th is National Day Of Girls-Named-Clare Worship'
Oct[14] = 'October 14th is Day Everyone Out Weird To Just Backwards Be'
Oct[15] = 'October 15th is Demon\'s Day'
Oct[16] = 'October 16th is Breasts Of Death Day'
Oct[17] = 'October 17th is No Matter Where You Go, There You Are Day'
Oct[18] = 'October 18th is Jobu Demands Tribute Day'
Oct[19] = 'October 19th is The Amazing Rando\'s Birthday'
Oct[20] = 'October 20th is Give a Queen a Hug Day'
Oct[21] = 'October 21st is Trust No Clown Day'
Oct[22] = 'October 22nd is Entrust In Physics Day'
Oct[23] = 'October 23rd is Cuddle Up With A Mutant Day'
Oct[24] = 'October 24th is Being A Musician Gets You Boobies Day'
Oct[25] = 'October 25th is Write That Down Day'
Oct[26] = 'October 26th is Say Anything Breaks Up Marriages Day'
Oct[27] = 'October 27th is Salute the Finest of Law Enforcement Day'
// end of words4
Oct[28] = 'October 28th is Woe To Costner Day'
Oct[29] = 'October 29th is Toast, Toast and More Toast Day'
Oct[30] = 'October 30th is Halloween. Really. Would we lie?'
Oct[31] = 'October 31st is Kidnap Your Local Sandy Claws Day'
Nov = new Array
Nov[1] = 'November 1st is Make A Goth Giggle Day'
Nov[2] = 'November 2nd is Simple Geometric Shapes Day'
Nov[3] = 'November 3rd is Celebration of the Wise Janitors'
Nov[4] = 'November 4th is Patronize A Bunny Rabbit Day'
Nov[5] = 'November 5th is Come Up With Another Reason To Fear Clowns Day'
Nov[6] = 'November 6th is WGOD First Broadcast Anniversary'
Nov[7] = 'November 7th is Spot A Suspicious Lepus Day'
Nov[8] = 'November 8th is Wood Lovers Week'
Nov[9] = 'November 9th is Bow To Your New Monkey Overlords Day'
Nov[10] = 'November 10th is Abuse Of Protective Power Day'
Nov[11] = 'November 11th is Be a Nazi, Dig a Hole Day'
Nov[12] = 'November 12th is Snails Is Our Hero Day'
Nov[13] = 'November 13th is Vegetarians Can Be Made Into Soylent Green, Too Day'
Nov[14] = 'November 14th is Complex Glucose Derivative Day'
Nov[15] = 'November 15th is Discover Where Exactly Is Denmark Day'
Nov[16] = 'November 16th is A Moment Of Silence For Horror Movie Morons'
Nov[17] = 'November 17th is Rocket Launcher Safety Day'
Nov[18] = 'November 18th is Experience A Brief Taste Of Hell Day'
Nov[19] = 'November 19th is Mandatory Kilt Attire Day'
Nov[20] = 'November 20th is Run From Something Evil, But Trip A Lot Day'
Nov[21] = 'November 21st is Find The Person Who Turned Austin Powers Into A Cliche And Beat Them Up Day'
Nov[22] = 'November 22nd is Action Figures Sex Education Day'
Nov[23] = 'November 23rd is Get A Makeover In Prison Day'
Nov[24] = 'November 24th is Fight For The Cure For Horn In The Head Day'
Nov[25] = 'November 25th is Befriend The Handicapped Day'
Nov[26] = 'November 26th is The Day Of The Three-Legged Drunken Llama'
Nov[27] = 'November 27th is PETA (Please End Terrible Acting) Week'
Nov[28] = 'November 28th is Vitriol Like You Know It Day'
Nov[29] = 'November 29th is Pornautography Day'
Nov[30] = 'November 30th is Beware Of Helping Strangers Day'
Nov[31] = ""
Dec = new Array
Dec[1] = 'December 1st is Pre-Plan Your Own Funeral Day'
Dec[2] = 'December 2nd is Surrender Independent Thought To Magazine Opinions Day'
Dec[3] = 'December 3rd is Dwarves vs. Stonehenge Day'
Dec[4] = 'December 4th is Day Of Penitent Boobies'
Dec[5] = 'December 5th is National Day Of Prefixing Everything With Bat-[blank]'
Dec[6] = 'December 6th is Wear T-Shirts Clearly Identifying Your Gender Day'
Dec[7] = 'December 7th is A Day That Will Live In Infamy'
Dec[8] = 'December 8th is Buy A Pen For An Unloved One Day'
Dec[9] = 'December 9th is Drama Class Is For Lovers Day'
Dec[10] = 'December 10th is Oily Hair Day'
Dec[11] = 'December 11th is Chins Can Rock Your World Day'
Dec[12] = 'December 12th is Feast Of 1,000 Nucleotides'
Dec[13] = 'December 13th is Put The Fear Of God Into Idiots Day'
Dec[14] = 'December 14th is Thor, God Of Thunder Rave Night'
Dec[15] = 'December 15th is Deathmas'
Dec[16] = 'December 16th is Date Out Of Your Weight Class Day'
Dec[17] = 'December 17th is The MRFH Boycott Of Gregg Araki Day'
Dec[18] = 'December 18th is Bat Country Founding Day'
Dec[19] = 'December 19th is Guitars For All Occasions Day'
Dec[20] = 'December 20th is Celebrate With Happy Fun Green Ball Day'
Dec[21] = 'December 21st is Don\'t Slow Down For Anyone Day'
Dec[22] = 'December 22nd is KYLEEEEEE!!! Day'
Dec[23] = 'December 23rd is Septic Gas Danger Awareness Day'
Dec[24] = 'December 24th is Open Christmas Presents Early And Work Out Family Dysfunction Eve'
Dec[25] = 'December 25th is You Will Shoot Your Eyes Out Day'
Dec[26] = 'December 26th is Bah Humbug Day'
Dec[27] = 'December 27th is Falootin\' At High Noon Day'
Dec[28] = 'December 28th is Party Like It\'s 1999 Day'
Dec[29] = 'December 29th is Wear a Fancy Mask Day'
Dec[30] = 'December 30th is Learn To Hack For Fun And Profit Day'
Dec[31] = 'December 31st is Blue Soup Day'
function extractquote(str) {
return str.substring(0);
}
function testit() {
for (m = 0; m < 12; m++) {
for (d = 1; d < 32; d++) {
document.write(monName[m] + " " + (d) + "
");
if (m == 0) document.write(extractquote(Jan[d]));
if (m == 1) document.write(extractquote(Feb[d]));
if (m == 2) document.write(extractquote(Mar[d]));
if (m == 3) document.write(extractquote(Apr[d]));
if (m == 4) document.write(extractquote(May[d]));
if (m == 5) document.write(extractquote(Jun[d]));
if (m == 6) document.write(extractquote(Jul[d]));
if (m == 7) document.write(extractquote(Aug[d]));
if (m == 8) document.write(extractquote(Sep[d]));
if (m == 9) document.write(extractquote(Oct[d]));
if (m == 10) document.write(extractquote(Nov[d]));
if (m == 11) document.write(extractquote(Dec[d]));
document.write("
");
} } }
function showquote(){
if (now.getMonth() == 0) document.write(extractquote(Jan[now.getDate()]));
if (now.getMonth() == 1) document.write(extractquote(Feb[now.getDate()]));
if (now.getMonth() == 2) document.write(extractquote(Mar[now.getDate()]));
if (now.getMonth() == 3) document.write(extractquote(Apr[now.getDate()]));
if (now.getMonth() == 4) document.write(extractquote(May[now.getDate()]));
if (now.getMonth() == 5) document.write(extractquote(Jun[now.getDate()]));
if (now.getMonth() == 6) document.write(extractquote(Jul[now.getDate()]));
if (now.getMonth() == 7) document.write(extractquote(Aug[now.getDate()]));
if (now.getMonth() == 8) document.write(extractquote(Sep[now.getDate()]));
if (now.getMonth() == 9) document.write(extractquote(Oct[now.getDate()]));
if (now.getMonth() == 10) document.write(extractquote(Nov[now.getDate()]));
if (now.getMonth() == 11) document.write(extractquote(Dec[now.getDate()]));
}