The Mutant Cross: Volume One

They aren’t the reason you show up to the theater.  No one builds a marketing campaign around their face.

But when they do make their appearance, be it a quick cameo, a three-scene bit part, or major supporting role, they elevate everything else in the film.

They turn bad movies in good ones and good movies into classics. For their hard work and dedication, we at MRFH award them The Mutant Cross for Bravery and Excellence in the Face of Cinematic Mediocrity.

Gentlemen, stand and be recognized!

Clint Howard

Everybody knows Clint Howard; he could quite possibly be the hardest working man in show business. He has one of the most identifiable faces in the business and, according to the Internet Movie Database, has made 193 film and television appearances to date. Usually in bit parts and appearing in almost the entire filmography of his brother, Ron Howard, Clint has nevertheless built up his own dedicated base of fans that can appreciate his esoteric nature and, of course, his almost unparalleled ability to mold his face like silly putty.

In 1998, Clint received MTV’s Lifetime Achievement Award. According to MTV News Anchor John Norris, that win was when the award, previously a gag category for characters like Godzilla and Chewbacca, became a legitimate recognition of someone who has worked hard and attained real success. Now there’s a new reason to dust off his awards shelf.

CROWNING ACHIEVEMENT

Ice Cream Man. One of Clint’s few starring roles is also one of his best performances. The movie itself misses more often than it hits, but the gross-out factor of popped eyeballs and cockroaches masquerading as ice cream toppings alone is worth the price of a rental. Beyond the sick stuff, Clint’s real shining moments come from his character Gregory, the mentally-ill ice cream man, and his surprisingly tender interactions with misfit child Small Paul. It’s a good indication of what Clint can do what given the latitude to perform. Also keep your good eye out for disembodied-head puppetry! Yay!

OTHER GREAT CLINT HOWARD MOMENTS

Rock N Roll High School: As Eaglebauer, the go-to man for anything the students of Vince Lombardi High School desire, Clint gives a performance worthy of Red Redding as the man “who knows how to get things.” Hall passes, dates, touchdowns–Clint will make you believe he can deliver them all. And his ‘how to make out’ lessons are priceless.

Apollo 13. This is a pretty small role, but, as one of the NASA analysts, Clint does a great job of holding his own against Ed Harris as he tries to convince him to turn the shuttle around and send them back home.

Ernie Hudson

Ernie Hudson is the forgotten Ghostbuster, the overlooked glue of The Crow, and the black guy who always dies early in horror movies. Not everyone can work this hard and be recognized this little. Despite strong supporting roles in cult movies like The Substitute and not-so-cult movies like Miss Congeniality, he has languished in levels of respect that could only be described as Dangerfieldesque.

Finally in 1997 he managed to eek out some measure of real fame as Warden Leo Glynn in HBO’s Oz, winning a Golden Satellite Award for his performance after three seasons. While we’re plenty happy that the rest of the world has finally taken notice, Ernie Hudson has consistently put out quality work for over thirty years and deserved to be acknowledged as the kind of actor the rest of Hollywood should only hope to imitate.

CROWNING ACHIEVEMENT

Ghostbusters. It’s Bill Murray’s movie, but Ernie’s Winston Zeddmore gets the best line. “Ray, when someone asks if you’re a god, you say YES!”

OTHER GREAT ERNIE HUDSON MOMENTS

The Crow. As expected, Ernie delivers a consistently strong performance here as Sgt, Albrecht, the worn down beat cop trailing Eric Draven’s mysterious murders. His best scene is a quiet one, where Draven comes to his apartment talk about Shelly, their murder the year before, and what exactly Eric has become.

Congo. Congo came around at the tail end of Michael Critchton’s reign over Hollywood in the mid-nineties. It’s a fair adaptation of a middling novel, but like all our recipients, Hudson’s performance as tracker Monroe Kelly (the Muldoon role) is easily the bright spot, outdoing even The Bruce himself.

Brent Spiner

Brent Spiner will be remembered forever as Lieutenant Commander Data on Star Trek: The Next Generation and, along with Patrick Stewart, likely bears the lions share of the credit for the show surviving it’s first two seasons. He did an extraordinary job taking a knockoff Mr. Spock and imbuing him with a sense of wonder and a humanity that the character doesn’t even realize he possesses. Plus he got to sleep with Denise Crosby. Rowr.

After Star Trek, Brent dropped off radar somewhat. He’s returned to the theater and does a lot of stagework now, but still manages to pop up pretty regularly on the silver screen in bit parts and cameo roles. His neurotic sense of humor and tremendous range as a character actor always leave strong impressions on the audience and, like all our recipients, leaves his films better products for having been in them.

CROWING ACHIEVEMENT

Star Trek: First Contact. Like all Trek actors, Brent Spiner will always be Commander Data, whether he wants to be or not. Data always played a large role in the series, but nowhere did he have more to sink his teeth into that First Contact. Spending most of the movie a captive of the Borg Queen, Data (now equipped with an emotion chip) must deal with concepts like fear, temptation, and desire as he is presented with a possible solution to everything he has strained for.

OTHER GREAT BRENT SPINER MOMENTS

Independence Day. Playing Dr. Brackish Okun, head of Area 51, Brent gives a wonderfully oddball performance as the reclusive weirdo genius that has been working with alien technology confiscated by the government. Until, of course, it all goes horribly wrong.

I Am Sam. It’s just a bit part, really, but as the exasperated shoe salesman attempting to help Dakota Fanning and Sean Penn with their purchase, Brent sells a tremendously funny scene in an otherwise saccharin and forgettable film. His barely concealed frustration would make Al Bundy proud.

Have a nominee in mind for the Mutant Cross?  Post it below or on our forums!