“Fine, don’t believe me. Just wait until he kills you!”
The Scoop: 1984, R, directed by Michael Winner and starring Rachael Kelley, David Allen Brooks, and Rocco Sisto
Tagline: First he tried to kill Mom. Now he’s after me. But no one believes me!
Summary: Typical teen angst story of a girl who’s parents try to murder her.
“Help! Help! I’m being repressed! Come see the violence inherent in the system!”
The Scoop: 1975 PG, directed by Terry Gilliam & Terry Jones and starring Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle and Michael Palin
Tagline: And now! At Last! Another film completely different from some of the other films which aren’t quite the same as this one is.
Summary: Monty Python, that wacky British street gang, travel old England in search for the Holy Grail and a sorcerer named Tim
“Nobody digs your music but yourself!”
The Scoop: 1984 R, directed by Albert Magnoli and starring Prince, Apollonia Kotero and Morris Day
Tagline: None
Summary: Two crazy kids are struggling with their dreams of becoming singers, and a little thing called love, in that music capitol of the world – Minneapolis, Minnesota.
“Mom, I’ll call you back. The day’s repeating.”
The Scoop: 1993 NR, directed by Jack Sholder and starring Jonathan Silverman, Helen Slater and Jeremy Piven
Tagline: Every day at a minute past midnight the sci-fi adventure begins… again.
Summary: Man gets stuck in an infinite time loop, resolves to solve the issue the only way a MAN can — duct tape!
“In brightest day, in blackest night, no evil shall escape my sight. Let those who worship evil’s might, beware my power… Green Lantern’s light!”
The Scoop: 2009 PG-13, directed by Lauren Montgomery and starring Christopher Meloni, Victor Garber and Michael Madsen
Tagline: Beware His Power
Summary Capsule: Fearless test pilot Hal Jordan inherits a power ring that lets him do damn near anything, but first must undergo training with shifty hardass Sinestro. Nothing bad could possibly happen.
“When I shop, the world gets better, and the world is better, but then it’s not, and I need to do it again.”
The Scoop: 2009, PG, directed by P.J. Hogan, and starring Isla Fisher, Hugh Dancy, and Krysten Ritter
Tagline: All she ever wanted was a little credit…
Summary Capsule: Pretty girl shops too much, writes about saving money, and falls in love along the way. Yeah, you men know you want to see this one.
“That Castle’s a slippery one”
The Scoop: 2008 R, directed by Lexi Alexander, and starring Ray Stevenson, Dominic West and Julie Benz.
Tagline: Vengeance has a name.
Summary Capsule: Ex-Special Forces instructor–not FBI agent–living in New York–not Miami–turns blood-soaked vigilante after his family is murdered by the mob. Chunks ensue.
“Make the call.”
The Scoop: 2009 PG-13, directed by Stephen Sommers and starring Christopher Eccleston, Channing Tatum and Sienna Miller
Tagline: When All Else Fails, They Don’t
Summary Capsule: G.I. Joe gets the boot… a reboot, with Destro trying to eat all the metal in the world and Duke joining the Joes for the first time (wait, isn’t he supposed to be the leader?).
Imagine: You’ve grabbed a Value Meal from McDonalds with a Diet Coke (but let’s face it, that isn’t going to help that small continent growing around your midsection), settled down into your comfy couch (Or Hamburgler armchair. I’m not judging), ready to watch another fantastic episode of your favorite television show, Mystery Science Theater 3000. Suddenly, in the midst of the usual chuckle-inspired weirdness emerges one of THOSE moments. You know, the ones that you sit through while the SOL crew slowly chips away at your sanity for two or three minutes, leaving you with a hollow shell for a cranium (But this could be a typical day for some. Again, not judging.)
I decree that this particular DHD be a tribute to all those MST3K moments that, whether or not they make us laugh, surely make us scratch our heads and wonder if we’ve just been mentally violated.
Because these moments really should be seen, rather than read about, I tried very hard to get working video clips of each Insane Moment. All episodes are available on DVD, so make sure to go out and buy these fantastic creations so that you may enjoy them in all their glory.
Everyone drag out your hallucinogens and your tie-dyed T-shirts, ’cause we’re about to go on a trip as I present:
Six of the Most Insane MST3K Moments!
Did you know that Mutant Reviewers has an entire forum devoted to readers who want to post their own reviews? ‘Tis true! ‘Tis magnificent! Here are a few of the reviews that have been posted this summer:
