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Kyle does Watchmen
Posted by Kyle
“None of you understand! I’m not locked in here with you! You’re locked in here with me!”
The Scoop: 2008 R, directed by Zach Snyder and starring Billy Crudup, Malin Ackerman and Carla Gugino.
Tagline: They watch over us… but who watches them?
Summary Capsule: Alan Moore’s ‘unfilmable’ magnum opus gets filmed.
Kyle’s Rating: “You’re in the wrong place, my friend, you better leave”
Kyle’s Review: Watchmen is one of those rare films where I was completely entertained by it, I never want to see it again, and I’m especially glad it “failed” at the box office. Now that it’s over, we don’t have to worry about it, and because of its perceived lack of cultural relevance we don’t have to worry that the next ten years of superhero films will be striving for that dark, R-rated comparison in its wake. Although I certainly wouldn’t mind more (female) nudity in my superhero films, know what I mean?
I think of Alan Moore, acclaimed author of Watchmen and other seminal comic book works, to be wholly overrated. He deals with fairly simplistic stories and characterizations, which is fine, and delves so deeply into relevant research and writerly glosses that you can only dismiss his work outright or shower him with awards, and early on that ubiquitous ‘they’ chose to go the awards route, and so on and so forth. I say that with both love, since I think his V for Vendetta book is absolutely genius and a lot of his other work is pretty good, and with utter jealousy, since he’s a lot better than I am at this point. Rragh!
That said, while I consider the Watchman graphic novel to be similarly overrated, I certainly respect it. And even if I didn’t, I would have to respect its influence, since there is not a single person working in comics (and very few hardcore readers) who have not read Watchmen at least a handful of times. It is The Beatles of comics, the book that even non-fans nod knowingly at the mention of because you never know when a fan with Bowflex muscles is willing to fight about it being “the best graphic novel of all-time, man!” Hipster bar fights always start over the weirdest things, have you ever noticed?
So I had a horse in the race, so to speak, in seeing Watchmen adapted for the big screen. Morbid curiosity played a significant role, but even the biggest hater should show up to support something up his alley; at least that’s the argument that got me and a massive bag of 50-cent tacos for both The Unborn and The Uninvited. So of course I was going to see Watchmen. I just didn’t expect to see the 3:15 a.m. Imax showing because my friends were determined (determined!) to see it as soon as possible.
First off, if you can see a film after 3 in the morning, part of me wants to implore you to wait. You’ll be so much happier with some sleep and after some delicious scrambled eggs. That said, why not do it? It is an experience unlike most not found in Las Vegas, and if you’re with a big group of similarly psyched though groggy friends and a big backpack of contraband goodies, even a nearly three-hour film will be a bonding experience. Hooray!
So basically the deck was stacked for me to enjoy Watchmen despite myself, and really that’s what happened. Which isn’t to say that Watchmen isn’t a really solid adaptation of what was thought to be an unfilmable work, because it is. But it seems like in trying so hard to make sure no one got too offended in what was filmed and what wasn’t, there was no room left for any kind of innovation. So what is left is a film that proves Watchmen could be adapted as a film, but makes no kind of argument for why it should be. Definitely worth your time, and I would even be up for viewing the inevitable unrated director’s cut DVD that should push the four-hour mark out of added curiosity. But if they were intending for this film to be anything more than a solid entry into the overall superhero film oeuvre, they missed the mark.
Although if they intended me to get beat up by every single one of my peers when I boldly and without a hint of sarcasm tell them the best thing about the Watchmen film is My Chemical Romance’s cover of ‘Desolation Row,’ I say BRING IT ON.
Looking for a second opinion? Check out Mike’s and Lissa’s reviews of Watchmen!
Whoever said purple is the new gray was seriously disturbed.
Didja Notice?
- Ozymandias’ German accent when he’s not in public?
- How much Nite Owl and Silk Spectre look like Clark Kent and Lois Lane?
- Tears for Fears “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” playing in Veidt’s lobby?
- Doc Manhatten’s package? Yeah, if I was packin’ that much heat, I’d walk around naked all the time too.
Intermission!
- Nathan Fillion was considered for the roles of The Comedian and Nite Owl.
Darren Aronofsky and Paul Greengrass were both previously scheduled to direct.
The first official image from director Zack Snyder – a test shot of Rorshach holding The Comedian’s button – was actually hidden in a trailer for Snyder’s previous film, 300. It features the film’s associate producer, Wesley Coller, wearing a makeshift mask in front of a composite New York backdrop, and was created as an experiment by Snyder to establish the mood and look of his proposed Watchmen project. Snyder’s wife, Deborah Snyder, bet him $100 that no one would discover it, while he was convinced that someone would find it almost immediately. He won.
Groovy Quotes
- Nite Owl: At least I’m not the one still hiding behind a mask.
Rorschach: No, you’re hiding in plain sight.
The Comedian: Here I am spilling my guts to my arch enemy. Truth is, Moloch, you’re the closest thing I have to a friend. What does that say?
Silk Spectre: Breaking into a national security prison is not the same thing as fighting a tenement fire.
Nite Owl: You’re right. It’s more fun.
Lee Iacocca: And we all know ‘free’ is just another word for communist.
Rorschach: Funny story. Sounds unbelievable. Probably true.
Rorschach: You keep calling me Walter. I don’t Like you.
Dr. Malcolm Long: Oh… why not?
Rorschach: You’re Fat.
Rorschach: None of you understand! I’m not locked in here with you! You’re locked in here with me!
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