Justin does Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

“Did I know that I just met the most dangerous dark wizard of all time? No.”

The Scoop: 2009 PG, Directed by David Yates and starring Daniel Raddcliffe, Rupert Grint and Emma Watson

Tagline: Once again I must ask too much of you, Harry.

Summary Capsule: Young wizard learns about evil guy’s past while his friends get all caught up in teen hormones. And somebody dies. Based on some book you might have heard of.

Justin’s Rating: Love in a time of witchcraft and wizardry

Justin’s Review: I’m currently operating under the theory that there are a couple different versions of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. There’s the Good Version, floating out there somewhere, that takes the best qualities of the book and binds them into a terrific film.  And then there’s the version we got, the Daytime Emmy Version, crafted for soap opera fanatics who wanted a tale heavy on the sap and light on the spells.  Seriously, a little romance is well and good for the soul, but HP6 goes overboard with what can only be described as a sitcom-style bumbling of lips, meaningful glances and thinly-guised pining (for the fjords).  This comes, of course, at the cost of removing the weight of what the story wants to be, because you can’t have all of the characters bemoaning how terrible the world is now that the Dark Lord is on the move while at the same time batting eyes at each other and making kissy faces.

Ugh.

My wife, who in the space of a week after seeing the fifth movie, devoured all seven Potter novels (in a week, mind you), joined the ranks of the “That was NOTHING like the book” club that roams the internet countryside.  And I can’t blame her.  While The Half-Blood Prince wasn’t close to my favorite of the series, the movie version squanders what it did have going for it – a growing sense of dread, characters who make decisions that literally shape their lives, and a finale that rends the world of Hogwarts asunder.  Instead: kissy faces!  Oh!  And love potions!  Note passing!  There’s also an entire scene devoted to dessert eating.

More than anything, HP6 is filler and setup, setting the stage for the seventh book without contributing much of a tale of its own.  The mandatory Big Clues are lobbed at us, but the smaller elements go amiss.

Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived To Be A Pain In The Butt For All Who Call Him “Friend”, returns to Hogwarts for another year of laughs and giggles.  There’s a new professor – Slughorn – who Dumbledore brings on staff so that Harry can play a clumsy con game with, but for the most part the year is spent lurching from scene to scene without a greater sense of purpose.  Harry finds an old potions textbook that allows him to excel in the course; Ron gains the attention of a hormonally overcharged harpy; and Hermione exists so that teenagers can realize what a hottie Emma Watson is becoming (oh, sorry, did I call you out on that?).

It’s not a horrible movie by any means, and not even at the bottom of the Harry Potter filmography, but there is definitely something missing from director David Yates’ latest outing.  Many somethings, actually.  For a movie that’s about magic, there’s precious little of it except for a few big scenes – heck, most of the pictures in the background don’t even move any more.  Add to that scene transitions that are, frankly, clunky, and secondary characters that I assume appeared only so that they could be thrown into a two-second spot in the trailer for all they did or said.  There’s very little soul, too little emotion, and a Grand Canyon-sized gap where fun used to be.

The most egregious offense, in my eyes, is tied between two issues.  The first is that this is the first Harry Potter movie where it no longer feels as though they’re in a magical world, just the normal world with magic thrown in as a side garnish.  The second has to do with the bigger plot elements that includes gobs of spoilers, so skip the next couple paragraphs if that sort of thing is antithema to you.

The main threat to Hogwarts comes as evil Lord Voldemort has recruited teen Draco Malfoy to assassinate the headmaster.  Yet, from start to finish, this is all bungled.  In the film, Voldemort never actually shows up, but is relegated to a background “boogeyman” status.  It’s never quite specified why Draco is doing this – it’s hinted at that it has something to do with restoring his family’s honor with the Big V, but I’ll bet you most non-book readers in the audience have no idea why that is necessary (even if they saw the previous film).  Draco’s supposed to be under terrible stress and strain because of this task, but he’s never humanized in doing so – the movie keeps showing him stalking around the school and looking all frowny-like, but since he’s given barely any dialogue until the end, there’s no connection made between him and the audience.

Finally, when the big act happens, nothing really clicks.  Harry stands by without doing a single thing (in the book he was magically bound and inable to help; here he just kind of uselessly observes), there’s barely any tension on Snape’s behalf as he intervenes (which is supposed to be a shocking betrayal, but the movie lobs hint after hint that he’s still a good guy), the final showdown between Harry and Snape is nothing more than a brief chase in which Harry gets smacked down a couple times, and then it… ends.  Oh, and we learn that wizards grieve over one of their most beloved leaders dying much the same way that concert goers honor Metallica – by raising a light to the sky and shouting “ENCORE!”  A climactic battle in the school and a touching funeral that took place in the book were inexplicably cut from the film, because – and this is the reason I’ve seen from the filmmakers – that they didn’t want to steal the thunder from the last film.  So they just go ahead and neuter this one, bravo.  It’s all just so blah.

Hogwarts is no longer a school that teaches anything; it’s just a setting for snooping and snogging and Snape-ing.

Want a second opinion?  Check out Courtney’s review here!

Wizards and their hot dog-themed shirts

Didja Notice?

• The awful, awful scene transitions where a scene peters out without doing or saying much of anything and then just ending so that we could move on?
• Dumbledore uses the line “I bet you’re wondering why I brought you here” twice…
• [Spoiler] Harry tries to use a spell on Snape, Snape reveals that it was his own spell from his potions book… but why would a said-out-loud spell be in a potions book?
• I liked Fred and George’s new store, but it’s a pity nothing really happens in that scene.
• All of the people clearly get off the bridge before it collapses, but then the newspaper reports fatalities?
• Are the Death Eaters the smoke monster from Lost?

If You Liked This Movie, Try These:

• Prisoner of Azkaban
• Order of the Phoenix