“When dealing with aliens, try to be polite, but firm. And always remember that a smile is cheaper than a bullet.”
The Scoop: 2009, R. Directed by Neill Blomkamp and starring Sharlto Copley, Jason Cope, and Nathalie Boltt
Tagline: You are not welcome here
Summary Capsule: (Bleep) phoning home. Christopher Johnson wants to go there.
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“The numbers are the key to everything.”
The Scoop: 2009, PG-13 Directed by Alex Proyas and starring Nicolas Cage, Chandler Canterbury and Rose Byrne
Summary Capsule: MIT professor happens upon a sheet of numbers that predicts major disasters, including possibly the End of the World.
“Mom, I’ll call you back. The day’s repeating.”
The Scoop: 1993 NR, directed by Jack Sholder and starring Jonathan Silverman, Helen Slater and Jeremy Piven
Tagline: Every day at a minute past midnight the sci-fi adventure begins… again.
Summary: Man gets stuck in an infinite time loop, resolves to solve the issue the only way a MAN can — duct tape!
“In brightest day, in blackest night, no evil shall escape my sight. Let those who worship evil’s might, beware my power… Green Lantern’s light!”
The Scoop: 2009 PG-13, directed by Lauren Montgomery and starring Christopher Meloni, Victor Garber and Michael Madsen
Tagline: Beware His Power
Summary Capsule: Fearless test pilot Hal Jordan inherits a power ring that lets him do damn near anything, but first must undergo training with shifty hardass Sinestro. Nothing bad could possibly happen.
“Make the call.”
The Scoop: 2009 PG-13, directed by Stephen Sommers and starring Christopher Eccleston, Channing Tatum and Sienna Miller
Tagline: When All Else Fails, They Don’t
Summary Capsule: G.I. Joe gets the boot… a reboot, with Destro trying to eat all the metal in the world and Duke joining the Joes for the first time (wait, isn’t he supposed to be the leader?).
Imagine: You’ve grabbed a Value Meal from McDonalds with a Diet Coke (but let’s face it, that isn’t going to help that small continent growing around your midsection), settled down into your comfy couch (Or Hamburgler armchair. I’m not judging), ready to watch another fantastic episode of your favorite television show, Mystery Science Theater 3000. Suddenly, in the midst of the usual chuckle-inspired weirdness emerges one of THOSE moments. You know, the ones that you sit through while the SOL crew slowly chips away at your sanity for two or three minutes, leaving you with a hollow shell for a cranium (But this could be a typical day for some. Again, not judging.)
I decree that this particular DHD be a tribute to all those MST3K moments that, whether or not they make us laugh, surely make us scratch our heads and wonder if we’ve just been mentally violated.
Because these moments really should be seen, rather than read about, I tried very hard to get working video clips of each Insane Moment. All episodes are available on DVD, so make sure to go out and buy these fantastic creations so that you may enjoy them in all their glory.
Everyone drag out your hallucinogens and your tie-dyed T-shirts, ’cause we’re about to go on a trip as I present:
Six of the Most Insane MST3K Moments!
“None of you understand! I’m not locked in here with you! You’re locked in here with me!”
The Scoop: 2008 R, directed by Zach Snyder and starring Billy Crudup, Malin Ackerman and Carla Gugino.
Tagline: They watch over us… but who watches them?
Summary Capsule: Alan Moore’s ‘unfilmable’ magnum opus gets filmed.
“Make the call.”
The Scoop: 2009 PG-13, directed by Stephen Sommers and starring Christopher Eccleston, Channing Tatum and Sienna Miller
Tagline: When All Else Fails, They Don’t
Summary Capsule: G.I. Joe gets the boot… a reboot, with Destro trying to eat all the metal in the world and Duke joining the Joes for the first time (wait, isn’t he supposed to be the leader?).
“I’m not a person, I know it. But I feel like one.”
The Scoop: 2009, Directed by Jeffrey Reiner and starring Eric Stoltz, Esai Morales, and Paula Malcomson
Tagline: “The battle for humanity has a beginning.”
Summary Capsule: A teenage girl thinks her father doesn’t know all that much… and boy, in this case she’s right.
“Have a mental margarita”
The Scoop: 1988 PG, directed by Julien Temple and starring Geena Davis, Jeff Goldblum, Jim Carrey and Damon Wayans
Tagline: An out-of-this-world, down-to-earth comedy adventure.
Summary capsule: There’s aliens, girls in bikinis, and Julie Brown. I’m sorry, did you think there was a plot?
