“When dealing with aliens, try to be polite, but firm. And always remember that a smile is cheaper than a bullet.”
The Scoop: 2009, R. Directed by Neill Blomkamp and starring Sharlto Copley, Jason Cope, and Nathalie Boltt
Tagline: You are not welcome here
Summary Capsule: (Bleep) phoning home. Christopher Johnson wants to go there.
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“Don’t blink or you’ll miss the fun!“
The Scoop: 1993 PG-13. Directed by Yuen Wo Ping and starring Donnie Yen, Rongguang Yu, and Jean Wang.
Tagline: Sometimes the only way to become a hero is to be an outlaw.
Summary Capsule: A masked hero battles greedy governors, misled martial artists, and royal pains in the neck in nineteenth-century China.
“That Castle’s a slippery one”
The Scoop: 2008 R, directed by Lexi Alexander, and starring Ray Stevenson, Dominic West and Julie Benz.
Tagline: Vengeance has a name.
Summary Capsule: Ex-Special Forces instructor–not FBI agent–living in New York–not Miami–turns blood-soaked vigilante after his family is murdered by the mob. Chunks ensue.
“Make the call.”
The Scoop: 2009 PG-13, directed by Stephen Sommers and starring Christopher Eccleston, Channing Tatum and Sienna Miller
Tagline: When All Else Fails, They Don’t
Summary Capsule: G.I. Joe gets the boot… a reboot, with Destro trying to eat all the metal in the world and Duke joining the Joes for the first time (wait, isn’t he supposed to be the leader?).
“None of you understand! I’m not locked in here with you! You’re locked in here with me!”
The Scoop: 2008 R, directed by Zach Snyder and starring Billy Crudup, Malin Ackerman and Carla Gugino.
Tagline: They watch over us… but who watches them?
Summary Capsule: Alan Moore’s ‘unfilmable’ magnum opus gets filmed.
“Make the call.”
The Scoop: 2009 PG-13, directed by Stephen Sommers and starring Christopher Eccleston, Channing Tatum and Sienna Miller
Tagline: When All Else Fails, They Don’t
Summary Capsule: G.I. Joe gets the boot… a reboot, with Destro trying to eat all the metal in the world and Duke joining the Joes for the first time (wait, isn’t he supposed to be the leader?).
“Did I know that I just met the most dangerous dark wizard of all time? No.”
The Scoop: 2009 PG, Directed by David Yates and starring Daniel Raddcliffe, Rupert Grint and Emma Watson
Tagline: Once again I must ask too much of you, Harry.
Summary Capsule: Young wizard learns about evil guy’s past while his friends get all caught up in teen hormones. And somebody dies. Based on some book you might have heard of.
“I love this game.”
The Scoop: 2008 R, directed by Paul W.S. Anderson and starring Joan Allen, Jason Statham and Ian McShane
Tagline: Get ready for a killer ride.
Summary Capsule: Convicts race fast, deadly cars for television ratings, babes and sweet, sweet freedom
“I swear that if you come back to life I’ll kill you again, no matter how many times!”
The Scoop: 1996 NR, Directed by Yoshiaki Kawajiri/Kevin Seymour and starring Dean Elliot and Wendee Lee (English version)
Summary Capsule: It’s the final countdown! Bah da baaa baaa! Ba-da -bap ba baaaaa!
“My father was a wheel! The first wheel! And do you know what he transformed into? Nothing! But he did it with honor!”
The Scoop: 2009 PG-13, directed by Michael Bay and starring Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, and Megan Fox’s breasts in slow motion
Tagline: Revenge is coming.
Summary Capsule: Special effects gurus secure themselves an Oscar nomination by hiding Megan Fox’s tattoos for 2 1/2 hours. Also, giant transforming robots.
