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Heather does Ninja Scroll
Posted by Heather
“I swear that if you come back to life I’ll kill you again, no matter how many times!”
The Scoop: 1996 NR, Directed by Yoshiaki Kawajiri/Kevin Seymour and starring Dean Elliot and Wendee Lee (English version)
Summary Capsule: It’s the final countdown! Bah da baaa baaa! Ba-da -bap ba baaaaa!
Heather’s Rating: How did this movie not receive any kind of rating? Really?
Heather’s Review: I recently outed myself on the boards as an anime fan during Kaleb’s specific and frighteningly telling anime contests. Sadly I did not win, for both times Eunice trampled me with her mad anime nerd skillz, for which I give much props. Word.
I’m a big fan of anime tv series, but never delved much into the movies. Oh sure, I’ne seen the Cowboy Bebop movie, but does that really count? Take into account that the only other anime movies I had ever watched were Hayao Miyazaki films and it comes to light that I’ve really been missing out on this genre that I love.
I was talking with a friend of mine online and in the middle of the conversation he throws out a movie quote, saying he’d be impressed if I recognized it. I failed to impress and had to admit thatI had no clue what he was talking about. The ensuing reaction was something along the lines of “AAAH you have to watch this movie now AAAHHH!!!” I imagine he was probably yelling at me through his computer screen, typing furiously in order to alert me as quickly as possible to Ninja Scroll, a piece of cinematic awesome that is one of his favorite films of all time OMG.
I looked it up on Netflix, which has it available for instant play. In response to my friend’s pleading I decided that I could put off my attempts to permanently burn Facebook’s Farm Town application onto my retinas for at least another day while I watched a movie about Japan, ninjas, and demons. I think I made the right choice.
I enjoyed Ninja Scroll more than I thought I would enjoy a movie of its ilk. Ninja Scroll is about Jubei, a ninja-for-hire who finds out that an old nemesis of his is back with sinister plans and an army of demons. Wendee Lee (squee!) voices the beautiful ninja warrior Kagero, whom Jubei rescues from one of the demons and befriends. The two set off together on their quest with your stereotypical goofy old Japanese sensei-type character in tow. The whole dramatic and over the top warringsideseveryonediesbloodsplatterseverywhere anime isn’t usually my thing. ESPECIALLY if there are gratuitous sex scenes involved.
That being said I still ended up liking this movie, despite its best efforts. For instance, there was so much blood and gore that in one shot it is literally raining blood. Body parts become detached in a myriad of interesting and physics-defying fashions. I really wish I could have had a video recorder handy so that I could go back and watch the faces I was making during these scenes. The way my facial muscles felt afterwords I must have looked like an extra in a Tim Burton film.
The sexual parts of the film were typically offensive and bordering on creepy Japanese fetish material. Honestly at one point I began to wonder whether or not Netflix had sneaked a hentai in on me. It never quite went to that level, but still.
I’m not going to blame this one on the movie, because it could be the fault of the translators, but the dialogue in this movie is pretty stiff and awkward. During long bouts of talking I would just tune out until blood started flying again. I guess I can see why they didn’t worry too much about the dialogue, ’cause who’s really paying attention to dialogue when a guy’s face is sliding down the edge of a sword?
What brought the film from brainless slaughtering and sex to brainless slaughtering and sex that I’ll actually keep watching was the very interesting plot, terrific voice cast , and a large dose of imagination in the storytelling. The demons were so diverse and creepy as only the Japanese can make ‘em. Don’t even get me started on the wasp-controlling demon who, at one horrifying point, reveled himself to be the demon equivalent of a Surinami toad. A Surinami toad that, instead of giving birth to little toad babies out of the holes in his back, spawns wasps. Holy mother of everything good and decent in this world I want to know what was wrong with the human being who dredged that up from the seventh layer of Hell and can he/she please not procreate?
Mind-bending terror aside, the movie’s creativity, well-crafted story and terrific editing were an unexpected joy that kept me watching. I’ll even venture to say that I would watch it again.
But next time I’m totally skipping past the wasp scene.
Wish to punch me, you will
Didja Notice:
- Strategic snake placement
- That chamberlain sure knows how to multitask
Is It Worth Staying Through The End Credits?:
Nay, good reader!
Intermission:
Ninja Scroll was much popular upon its release in the US than it was in Japan.
Groovy Quotes:
Tesai: Not quite the right direction. The road to Hell is… RIGHT HERE.
Utsutsu Mujuro: If you want to kill me, you mustn’t make any sound at all. Jubei: The only sound you’ll hear, is the sound of your own voice screaming.
Jubei: I swear if you come back to life again that I’ll kill you again, no matter how many times! Aaaaaaah!
If You Liked This Movie, Try These:
- Cowboy Bebop
- Princess Mononoke
- Akira
Strategic snake placement? You mean like in Bladerunner?
I’ve been thinking that either you or Kaleb should do a feature entitled Anime for People Who Don’t Like Anime (though a more appropriate one might be Anime for Poeple Who Have Preconceptions About Anime). In it, you could describe various anime which don’t follow the popular stereotypes of anime. Thus it can be shown that anime isn’t just about saucer-eyed bimbos with massive racks and implausibly huge robots with massive racks. Of missiles! A few titles which could fit that come to mind include Le Portraite de Petite Cossette, Project Blue Earth SOS, Starship Operators, and Le Chevalier d’Eon (though a couple might be considered a bit borderline).
…but Kaleb LIKES saucer-eyed bimbos with massive racks and implausibly huge robots with massive racks of missiles.
Anyhow that isn’t a bad idea. Not a bad idea at all.
That’s a cool idea, and since I wouldn’t have to write it therefore making the number of titles for consideration easy for me, may I suggest:
Paranoia Agent
Planetes
Gankutsuou: The Count of Monte Cristo
Princess Tutu (embarrassing title good show if you like fairy tales [or ballet] and meta thinking such tales)
Twelve Kingdoms
Samurai 7 (Because there needs to be at least one show with robots)
Boccano!
Oh, I’d LOVE to read that article! And it’s nice to see another Princess Tutu fan. Ridiculous name, fascinating ballet/fairytale mythos. How about Black Lagoon for Tarantino fans? Oh, and there’s an anime for every Joss Whedon fan. Firefly fans – Cowboy Bebop; Dollhouse – Gunslinger Girl; Buffy/Angel – if you like the pretty girls kicking supernatural ass, try Claymore, if you like the actual supernatural stuff, then Ghost Hunt.
And of course there’s Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya – lots of anime tropes, but it tends to spoof them outrageously.
What red-blooded heterosexual male anime fan doesn’t (I speak of the saucer-eyed bimbos with massive racks)?
Some brief explanation about the titles I mentioned and why they could bust preconceptions about anime:
Le Portraite de Petite Cossette is one for the Poe fans. A college student who works in his uncle’s antique shop obsesses over a Venetian glass with the soul of a girl who was killed by her fiance 250 years ago trapped in. That’s what he thinks anyway. His friends think he’s gone off the deep end.
Project Blue Earth SOS is for anyone who loves schlocky alien invasion movies from the Fifties. There’s also Tom Swift style boy geniuses, people being made into mind controlled zombies, atomic powered everything, and a pink hover-Caddalac with a Fifties style body and tricked out with James Bond type gadgets. Stylistically, it could easily pass as an American cartoon. Except for the blood-soaked violence. And a couple instances of discreet nudity.
Starship Operators is a bit borderline as there are lots of lovely ladies with big round eyes and big round boobs. But there are two things going for it. First, it’s the hardest of hard military science fiction. Then’s there’s the main concept, which involves interstellar war as reality TV.
Le Chevalier d’Eon focuses on the exploits of France’s most famous transvestite spy. It’s biggest selling point is the fencing sequences, which are fully animated, lack speed lines, and keep backgrounds intact. It’s also a rare instance where the dub is clearly superior to the sub.
Heather so has Cowboy Bebop covered.
Four more shows and I’m done:
Kurogane Communication
Last Exile
Boogiepop Phantom
Big O
And if you’re looking for a show with girls and robots with large chests, that, rather sneakily, turns out to be pretty good I recommend Vandread (first and second “stages”).
Okay. Done. Seriously.
(Oh, and word up on Ghost Hunt, TaleWeaver.)
Ghost Hunt is a fun series. But it possesses many of the elements which turn off a lot of people on anime. Therefore it wouldn’t really be appropriate for a list of anime for people who don’t like anime.
Maybe we can get Lissa to try out Princess Tutu, as it’s sure to appeal to her Inner Princess.
Great review, and good ideas that followed. But I personaly have to thank that friend of yours for getting this ball rolling. Ninja Scroll to me is timeless, never will it not be apreciated. Thank you for bringing it to more light.
Anime for Dummies? Seems I’m in the target demographic. Great idea!
So many comments! There may be something to this anime-reviewing thing, eh Heather?
First of all, great review, and although the wasp-squirter actually doesn’t sound as bad as some of the other stuff you described, I’ll take your word for it. Also, your “liking it in spite of itself” sentiment made an exclamation point happen over my head, because that was exactly how I came away from the upcomingly-reviewed Elfen Lied. Well, that, and shivering, covered in my own vomit. ‘Twould be a prime candidate should I ever decide to make an Anime for People Who Will Never Watch Anime Again article.
>>Strategic snake placement? You mean like in Bladerunner?< <
I was thinking more along the lines of Metal Gear Solid. Fwappity shmackity doo!
>>…but Kaleb LIKES saucer-eyed bimbos with massive racks and implausibly huge robots with massive racks of missiles.< <
How DARE you so brazenly marginalize my okay yes I do.
>>And of course there’s Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya – lots of anime tropes, but it tends to spoof them outrageously.< <
Picked this one up for no other reason than that Amazon wouldn't leave me alone about it. And as it turns out, that old Bavarian proverb is true: "Never doubt the judgment of a massive online marketplace named after a piranha-filled river."
>>And if you’re looking for a show with girls and robots with large chests, that, rather sneakily, turns out to be pretty good I recommend Vandread (first and second “stages”).<<
Yes. This.
I picked up Vandread solely on the promise of robots and spaceships combining to make huge awesome things, and am in the middle of Second Stage now, still agape at how much better this show is than it should be. However, I am a bit worried that I’m this close to the end, and Hibiki is still such an ass.
Can’t you guys just post pictures of the saucer-eyed bimbos with massive racks without cluttering it up with a bunch of unnecessary words? I promise, it’ll increase our site traffic.
Kaleb can draw you all a few!! Or did he never share that fact with you??
haha….no, no he had not shared that. Have I ever told you, Krista, that I am SO glad you joined the forums?
…and nobody mentions Samurai Champloo…*sigh*. A perfect blend of kung fu swordplay and hip hop culture.
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