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Heather does Earth Girls Are Easy
Posted by Heather“Have a mental margarita”
The Scoop: 1988 PG, directed by Julien Temple and starring Geena Davis, Jeff Goldblum, Jim Carrey and Damon Wayans
Tagline: An out-of-this-world, down-to-earth comedy adventure.
Summary capsule: There’s aliens, girls in bikinis, and Julie Brown. I’m sorry, did you think there was a plot?
Heather’s Rating: Earth girls (Earth girls!)are easy (are easy!)! Whatcha wanna do, little buckaroo, come ooooon!
Heather’s Review: My method for picking movies is pretty off-kilter. Your average person picks something featuring one’s favorite actor/actress, something from a preferred genre, or something that looks good or was recommended by a friend.
Many times I’ll watch a movie, good or bad, based purely upon it being referenced in pop culture. I’m the kind of person who wants to “get” every reference made in every movie, TV show, book, and song that I like. I might never have paid Earth Girls Are Easy any mind if it hadn’t been for the film’s inclusion in the lyrics of one of my favorite songs off of the Cowboy Bebop soundtrack. When I first heard the song I barely knew that movie existed. Once I ran across it on (say it with me) Netflix! I decided I had to see it.
That being the case, I couldn’t have expected this movie to be a Citizen Kane or Mr. Hollands Opus, and it certainly wasn’t.
I want to preface the meat of this review with a little marinade, if you will (Oooh, that was a bad metaphor. Sorry).While I love goofiness when goofiness is the intention I do NOT tolerate goofiness in the form of fifth grade humor and slapstick (read: most Will Ferrell films). I can appreciate a film like Earth Girls Are Easy while simultaneously being miffed at Pale Rider, simply because of one very important difference: a film trying to be silly is laughable in a good way. A film taking itself so seriously that it becomes silly is laughable in a bad way.
Now when I say I appreciate EGAE, I’m not saying that it’s a good movie. It’s got a few major hits against it: A silly, sex-centered plot, the inclusion of a Wayans brother… but it manages a charm that actually makes you want to watch the goofball story, bright colors and ridiculous musical numbers. Said musical numbers only add up to a blessedly small amount (around three) and make this movie an even better choice as the background for your 80’s-themed party. All of your guests will be singing along with “‘Cause I’m a Blonde”. If they don’t then throw them out immediately, lest their sourpussness infect you.
EGAE’s plot is the kind of thing people were only putting out in the eighties: Mac (Goldblum), Wiploc (Carrey), and Zeebo (Wayans), a trio of furry and colorful sexually frustrated aliens, crash land into a pool belonging to a cute, naive Earth girl named Valerie (Davis). She shows them around and has her friend give them makeovers to make them look human. All the better for them to go out and par-tay! Wackiness and abominations against nature ensue. There’s plenty of garish clothing and hair, your standard dance-off scene, and the kind of sexual situations that would make a professional uncomfortable.
On that note, am I alone in the feeling that Geena Davis and Jeff Goldblum were a perfect romantic couple in this movie in that they are both inexplicably attractive? Geena Davis at times has a very old Hollywood kind of beauty, and at the right times is quite good-looking. At the same time she has this weird lisp-like quality to her voice and her face tends to look like a misshapen Cabbage Patch doll. I applaud that kind of versatility. Jeff Goldblum’s sex appeal, on the other hand, is more difficult for me to come to terms with. His silky voice, his Jame Bond-like charm, and not at all unpleasant body are definite turn-ons. And yet I know of hardly a picture of him where he doesn’t look like a cross between a lemur and an elf. I always feel kind of wrong inside for finding him attractive, especially in his shirtless “hey look I’m a sexy, nearly hairless human now!” scene.
Ack, movie! Why must you confuse me so?
Want a second opinion? Check out DNA Error’s review here!
Oh, Dr. Love? Somebody needs a dose of your hot chicken legs and a cold, cold stethoscope!
Didja Notice?:
- Could be I just have a dirty mind, but that’s some awfully phallic landing gear.
- “Dr. Love” needs to pay a visit to “Dr. Gym” to get rid of those spindly chicken legs.
- Geena Davis was horrendously skinny here! Somebody help me: Is it really attractive to be able to view a woman’s first five ribs in such horrific detail?
Intermission!:
Two of the cars from Death Race 2000 appear in this film. Calamity Jane’s car is visible at the gas station, and Frankenstein’s car can be seen on the road while Carry and Wayons’ characters are driving backwards.
Jeff Goldblum and Geena Davis also played a romantic couple in the remake of the sci-fi classic The Fly.
Groovy Quotes:
Candy: I see split ends are universal. Lost in space with no conditioner, eh?
Woody: Waste your brain, wax your board, pray for waves.
Mac: Are we limp and hard to manage?
If You Liked This Movie, Try These:
All you gotta do, happy fool, is ask your mo~om.
Earth Girls are Easy is one of those movies that it’s really hard to describe to someone or explain why it’s enjoyable. It just either works for you or it doesn’t, and even if it does should probably be taken in small doses.
I know it’s irritating to quote the whole paragragh, but:
“On that note, am I alone in the feeling that Geena Davis and Jeff Goldblum were a perfect romantic couple in this movie in that they are both inexplicably attractive? Geena Davis at times has a very old Hollywood kind of beauty, and at the right times is quite good-looking. At the same time she has this weird lisp-like quality to her voice and her face tends to look like a misshapen Cabbage Patch doll. I applaud that kind of versatility. Jeff Goldblum’s sex appeal, on the other hand, is more difficult for me to come to terms with. His silky voice, his Jame Bond-like charm, and not at all unpleasant body are definite turn-ons. And yet I know of hardly a picture of him where he doesn’t look like a cross between a leemur and an elf. I always feel kind of wrong inside for finding him attractive, especially in his shirtless “hey look I’m a sexy, nearly hairless human now!” scene.”
… *raises hand* Me too. To all of it. Especially the whole lemur/elf thing (I always caught the elf part, but could never quite place the other half. Lemur is it exactly!). And I, too, feel the wrongness inside.
As for how skinny Geena Davis is in this, I agree, but she’s got nothing on Kelly Lynch in Road House. When you can see someone’s ribs through their chest (not just on the sides) it’s pretty gross.
Regarding the question about the attractiveness of ribs, the answer is, “No.”
I can’t take EGAE in large doses, either. In fact the last time I watched it I quit about halfway through, just because I feel that it really starts lagging after that.
Thank you for the Kelly Lynch image, Eunice. I’ll keep you in mind when I can’t eat my lunch today. I’d say that would be a good weight loss program, but then I’m torn as to whether or not it would work, since I would eventually start eating so as not to turn out looking like that.
“I’m the kind of person who wants to “get” every reference…”
I lack the energy to share your completionist motivation, but I understand. I read Moby-Dick just because of Star Trek VIII (which I recommend btw. for the original, un-botched quote alone).
While your metaphors might need work like a… broken car that needs… to be worked on, you should not further improve the art of hiding insults in compliments, or people might cut themselves on your next review.
To the meat question: I’m even unsatisfied if there’s to little meat on my spare ribs, and I hold women to a marginally higher standard than food.
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