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Courtney Does X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Posted by Courtney
“Ooh, shiny.”
The Scoop: 2009 PG-13, directed by Gavin Hood and starring Hugh Jackman, Liev Schreiber and Danny Huston
Summary Capsule: The origin of the mutant known as Wolverine is revealed. Turns out he was a lot moodier back in the day.
Courtney’s Rating: There definitely is a God, and She calls Her finest creation Hugh Jackman.
Courtney’s Review: Hugh Jackman is the world’s most perfect man. He has the appearance of Adonis and an amount of talent and charisma previously unheard of. He is not just an actor – he is an icon of cinema in the 21st century, he can out-sing the brightest stars of musical theater, and he’s a fantastic dancer to boot. He has vibrantly shined in Hollywood and on Broadway, a feat that few have ever achieved, and he has yet to peak as far as I’m concerned.
The man looks good, whether perfectly trimmed and spruced up to host an awards show or scruffed up and fierce enough to reclaim his place as an action star. If the sight of him doesn’t make you smile or swoon, you must have never learned to appreciate natural beauty. He is a piece of art – his face sculpted by the most skilled angels in Heaven and his body is enough to put Michelangelo’s David to shame. He never fails to capture an audience with his physicality, especially whilst shirtless, skin a-glistenin’ and muscles a-ripplin’ in the light sparkle of sun. And let’s not even mention the fact that he jumps into a waterfall BUTT NAKED.
Because talent and looks are simply not enough, he has been graced with a better personality than a contemporary superstar like him could hope to exude. He can pull off the serious, brooding look in the movies, but in life he has a fantastic, exquisite sense of humor and humbleness. He pulls the purest of emotions out of me. When he laughs, I laugh; when he cries, I cry; when he broods, okay, I don’t exactly brood, but I get a very funny and sensational tickle inside of me like nothing I’ve ever felt before, and I like it. A lot.
To simplify what I think of him, it’s easiest to say that he is the prime male specimen.
But the dialogue in Wolverine was pretty bad and the special effects looked cartoon-y at times.
The Most Beautiful Thing I Have Ever Seen. Absolutely.
Didja Notice?
- How awesome the name Victor Creed is?
- That graceful jump into the waterfall (and all of the glory that happened just before it?)
- How many times does Wolverine have to walk in front of an explosion? I secretly love it…
- Blob’s “Save the Whales” shirt? Totally love it!!
- Ryan Reynolds is pretty hot.
- So is Taylor Kitsch. And Liev Schreiber. And Daniel Henney. And Dominc Monaghan.
- Yeah, Lynn Collins is pretty hot, too.
Is It Worth Staying Through The End Credits?
- I think it depends on how you felt about the ending. There is an extra scene a few seconds into the credits and another one at the end.
Intermission!
- Hugh Jackman and Liev Schreiber are good friends. Jackman asked Schreiber to be a part of the movie. Schreiber was originally intended to play Stryker, but he was more interested in Sabertooth/Victor Creed.
Groovy Quotes
- Victor Creed: Ooh, shiny.
Logan: You’re gonna die for what you did to her.
Victor Creed: Do you even know how to kill me?
Logan: I’m gonna cut your g****mn head off. See if that works.
Wade Wilson: (after eliminating all of the henchmen) Okay, people are dead.
If You Liked This Movie, Try These:
there we have it, wolverine degraded to a chippendalesakt, just to attrakt women to geekcinema, what a world!!
they could have done a better job if they had used real strippers for the cast. that way it could have counted as an persiflage (spellcheck anyone?) !
nah, maybe i expected to much, i thought we would see more of wolverine growing up, becoming the charakter he is. well you cant expect them to pull an other DarkNight/HeathLedger, can you??
So…. so you like Hugh Jackman, right? That’s just the general vibe I’m getting from this review.
Amen, sister!
you didn’t even talk about the movie…
This has to be the worst movie review MRFH has ever produced.
The fact that Hugh Jackman is, from everything I’ve heard, a really nice guy makes him that much more attractive.
Here’s the real reason Wolverine sucked:
http://nodwick.humor.gamespy.com/ffn/index.php?date=2009-04-17
DEEEEEAAAAAADPOOOOOOOOOOOL
While everything you said was true, this isn’t exactly a movie review.
I think the one line in this review that really talks about the movie says all that needs to be said. I saw it on the night of its Australian release and I couldn’t help but end up laughing at how shocking the dialogue was. And the effects…*shudder*…TV-level special effects in a full length X-Men theatrical movie is inexcusible.
I honestly think that Hugh Jackman, the action scenes, and the first act of the film are all that Wolverine has going for it.
Why don’t you dedicate a website to Hugh Jackman and use that as a platform for you adoration rather than subjecting the rest of us to it?
Um..real review plz. Thnx
A real review would be nice.
ME! Said,
“Why don’t you dedicate a website to Hugh Jackman and use that as a platform for you adoration rather than subjecting the rest of us to it?”
What makes you think this isn’t this site?
Courtney, that’s a win. *tips hat* I love how you cryptically sneaked this in: “he has yet to peak as far as I’m concerned.” Good luck with that!
“he has yet to peak as far as I’m concerned.”
Ugh, duplicate copy and paste. Shoulda stuck with the forums and their edit function.
I enjoyed the movie quite a bit.. but my ideal Gambit is still straight out of the comic books.. back with the headgear and short hair. I did like the backstory.. thought that was great.
Wanting my bro to watch this so I can discuss (Kaleb’s the bro.. where IS he).. He and I used to digest the X-Men comics as fast as they were produced.
[...] Feet 2 in 3-D will come out November 18, 2011. After the success of X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Fox has green-lit the Deadpool movie. Called just Deadpool, Ryan Reynolds will reprise his role. [...]
To Sis:
I’m still standin’, better than I ever been. Once inventory week is over, and I get back to occasionally not being at work, I will be reviewing like nobody’s business.
To Various Complainants:
a) Look, I’ll bet you all the cash I have in my wallet right now that none of you can honestly say that there was any less review here than there really needed to be.
b) Where are you people when reviews you like come around?
I propose a new rule: anyone who has ever actually seen a woman naked is encouraged to criticize. (No, your mother and Playboy do not count.) For those of you left who have at some point hit that and hit that good, feel free to take issue with Courtney’s review; but realize that if we were to spend four paragraphs talking about the perfection that is Elisha Cuthbert’s breasts (and, God help me, they are perfect), there’d probably be a lot less outcry.
Dr. Cox’s feelings aside, Hugh Jackman is a handsome man. Not Drew handsome, but definitely a promising rookie. If you need something to mock, Gambit’s hot pink body armor, fingerless gloves, and knee pads are right there. Otherwise? Just appreciate the humor, huh?
Ah, hell, leave her alone. Even I went “Holy shit!” when he popped out of admantium pool. The wife just kinda gasped. In a pre-release interview he said he was benching 300-315 lbs. at shoot time. As for talent, everyone must see his opening for the Oscars(?). Amazing, it’s on youtube.
Yeah, she probably sould have added a -few- more sentences. Dialogue didn’t bother me to much- X-Men is not Shakespeare. Sabretooth was a bit annoying (what’s with the continual hate). I liked Gambit, wish there was more of him in the film. Don’t know much about Deadpool, so I don ‘t know how accurate he was, but he was pretty cool. I didn’t think the FX were that bad. One of the best sequel origin movies.
And I have seen several naked women and “hit” them, so you must “respect my author-i-tay!”
“Sabretooth was a bit annoying (what’s with the continual hate).”
Bryan, I think he was supposed to be like that because of his dad? I got the feeling they were going for loud, possibly abusive, drunk. Meanwhile he’s like the hired companion to Logan up at the Big House. So he went through all the same horribleness that Logan did, but never had a foundation of a loving family (no matter how, ultimately, screwed up). And then if Logan was supposed to the only person who he cared about (’cause he [Logan] was the only one who didn’t treat him [Creed] like crap), and then he felt betrayed…
At least that’s how I read it based off ten minutes of movie.
Eunice: Armchair psychologist to popcorn actioners. Five cents please.
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