“Nobody digs your music but yourself!”
The Scoop: 1984 R, directed by Albert Magnoli and starring Prince, Apollonia Kotero and Morris Day
Tagline: None
Summary: Two crazy kids are struggling with their dreams of becoming singers, and a little thing called love, in that music capitol of the world – Minneapolis, Minnesota.
“Mom, I’ll call you back. The day’s repeating.”
The Scoop: 1993 NR, directed by Jack Sholder and starring Jonathan Silverman, Helen Slater and Jeremy Piven
Tagline: Every day at a minute past midnight the sci-fi adventure begins… again.
Summary: Man gets stuck in an infinite time loop, resolves to solve the issue the only way a MAN can — duct tape!
“When I shop, the world gets better, and the world is better, but then it’s not, and I need to do it again.”
The Scoop: 2009, PG, directed by P.J. Hogan, and starring Isla Fisher, Hugh Dancy, and Krysten Ritter
Tagline: All she ever wanted was a little credit…
Summary Capsule: Pretty girl shops too much, writes about saving money, and falls in love along the way. Yeah, you men know you want to see this one.
“I’m trying to tell your wife that I’m in love with her.“
The Scoop: 1994 R, directed by Rory Kelly and starring Meg Tilly, Eric Stoltz, and Craig Sheffer.
Tagline: A romantic comedy brave enough to say those three magic words.
Summary Capsule: Sex ruins everything.
“Have a mental margarita”
The Scoop: 1988 PG, directed by Julien Temple and starring Geena Davis, Jeff Goldblum, Jim Carrey and Damon Wayans
Tagline: An out-of-this-world, down-to-earth comedy adventure.
Summary capsule: There’s aliens, girls in bikinis, and Julie Brown. I’m sorry, did you think there was a plot?
“I hate you for making me want you so much.”
The Scoop: PG-13 2008, directed by Catherine Hardwicke and starring Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, and Billy Burke
Tagline: When you can live forever what do you live for?
Summary Capsule: The new girl’s first day at her high school introduces her to all the usual teenage angst, including the boy/man destined to be her immortal vampire boyfriend
“Excuse me, while I out my dog for the good of us all.”
The Scoop: 2005, M, directed by Ron Oliver and starring Chad Allen, Sebastian Spence, and Jack Wetherall
Tagline: A gay detective who always gets his man.
Summary Capsule: A detective takes on an attempted murder case for a client he can’t stand, and opens more cans of worms than he ever thought he would.
“He’s weird, he’s strange, he’s sloppy, he’s a total nightmare for women… I can’t believe I haven’t slept with him yet.”
The Scoop: 1994 R, directed by Ben Stiller and starring Winona Ryder, Ethan Hawke and Ben Stiller
Tagline: A comedy about love in the 90’s.
Summary Capsule: If you’ve never seen a mid-90’s movie, allow me to summarize for you: a group of twentysomething friends live, philosophize and sleep together while damning the Man and avoiding work. Set to a good soundtrack.
“Holy crap. You’re worth every penny.”
The Scoop: 2005 PG, directed by Clare Kilner and starring Debra Messing, some guy named “Dermot”, and Amy Adams
Tagline: Love doesn’t come cheap.
Summary Capsule: I mean, seriously, “Dermot”? How very much did his parents want him beaten up every day at school?
So I was watching the MTV Movie Awards the other night, and while the Twilight cast swept every category possible (Kristen Stewart over Kate Winslet? Really? Do the voters actually watch movies?) I realized that I had written a Mutant Viewing for the film weeks and weeks ago and never finished it. I’m blaming premature senioritis. Anywho, after watching Twilight win the award for Best Movie of the Year over Slumdog Millionaire, The Dark Knight, and High School Musical 3 (which was totally underrated, but that’s a rant for a different day,) I set out to finish what I started… two months ago.
Let’s start with the necessary introduction for any of you sane/lucky enough to steer clear from the Twilight trend: it’s a crappy romance between a high school girl and a century-old vampire I’m calling Cedward for obvious reasons. I got dragged into it by a couple friends who insisted I give it a chance. And I gave it a very generous chance. Because I read the whole dang series, which is pure crap. The first book is crap, each book after that is crap, and the movie is crap. I mean, it’s not just that Stephanie Meyer is a terrible writer and the story sucks; I was actually deeply offended by it’s message. But it’s got some great comedy material, so I think this is going to actually be fun!
