Al does Taken

“I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.”

The Scoop: 2008 PG-13 Directed by Pierre Morel and starring Liam Neeson and Famke Janssen

Tagline: They took his daughter. He’ll take their lives.

Summary Capsule: EX CIA spook goes on a 90 minute killing spree to get back his kidnapped daughter.

Al’s Rating: Liam Neeson is all out of bubblegum…

Al’s Review: As a red-blooded American male, I will sit happily through any action movie you throw my way. Shaft, Blade, S.W.A.T., whatever. Sly and Arnold, Van Damme and Seagal, Jason Statham and Vin Diesel—on a rainy Sunday, I’ll take any or all. After watching several dozen of these movies, however, I reached an interesting realization: the hero really doesn’t matter. I mean, yes, they need to look gritty and say things like, “Get off my plane!” but, in the end, he (or she) is really just playing second banana to bad guys. Not even just the big important baddies, either; I’m talking about the street punks with ski masks and bad aim. The success of the movie is going to depend on how much we want to see these guys go splat. If they’re just random nogoodniks who picked the wrong crimelord to roll with, then who really cares? But have them steal your girlfriend and kill your partner one day before retirement? Now we’re talking.

All of which brings me my feel-good movie of the year, Taken. It has a Big Damn Hero, a Big Nasty Villain, and a body count that would make James Bond blush. Our villains du jour are a European slavery ring operating out of Paris, France. Slavers, like Nazis and people who drive in front of me on the highway, have a naturally high splat factor and so we’re perfectly happy to watch a large numbers of them die in the most violent ways possible.

Lucky for us, our Big Damn Hero is Brian Mills, played by Liam Neeson. Brian is a retired U.S. government-issue badass, a “preventer,” he tells his daughter, Kimmy (Maggie Grace). A man who stops bad things from happening. But when Kim is kidnapped on vacation, Brian comes out of retirement to take names and bust skulls until he has her back.

Neeson is great, which is no surprise. He lends a lot of authenticity to the character and credibility to the movie as a whole. Like I said, though, the movie’s not really about Brian Mills—it’s all about the splat factor, which is through the roof. The villains are such slimy, soul-blackened people that not even the script can muster any respect or sympathy for them. There’s no Mr. Big at the top of the food chain. No ringleader. No final showdown. Just thugs. Small time and big time; thugs dressed in tuxedos and thugs behind desks. Street pimps, gang leaders, corrupt officials, and elite multibillionaires—they are all equal in the eyes of a vengeful father. These are disgusting, evil people engaged in a horrifying (and all too real) black market trade. They are the lowest form of life and, as the audience, we are happy to paint the targets on their foreheads ourselves.

The movie is a lean 85 minutes, which is probably a good thing. Plot holes and logical inconsistencies (and there are plenty) disappear under relentless action as Brian takes apart his enemies, like a mix of Dirty Harry and Jack Bauer. There is no thought to this movie, nothing reflective or contemplative. It doesn’t even pretend. This is a movie about predator and prey, and it’s the most fun I’ve had with an action film in ages. They don’t like ‘em like this anymore.

Want a second opinion?  Check out Mike’s review here!

Not pictured: the light at the end of the tunnel he's about to send you into.

Didja Notice?

• The CIA is apparently WAY more on top of things than we’re led to believe.
• Why exactly did Mills have to scale a wall to get into the girl’s room? Couldn’t he have just entered through a door?
• Seeing as how Mills always goes in unarmed, it’s convenient how the thugs keep supplying him with weapons.
• The difference between the weight of a gun that is loaded and one that is not loaded is of extreme importance.
• Liam Neeson cannot be killed by conventional weaponry.

Is It Worth Staying Through The End Credits?

Nah.

Intermission!

• The fighting art primarily used in this movie is Nagasu Do.
• Former Special Air Service soldier Mick Gould trained Liam Neeson in combat and weapons handling skills to prepare him for the role.

Groovy Quotes

Bryan: How about this? How about if I go along? You won’t even know I’m there. I’m very good at being invisible.
Lenore: As you so amply demonstrated for the rest of her life.

Bryan: I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.

Bryan: That is what happens when you sit behind a desk. You forget things, like the weight in the hand of a gun that’s loaded and one that’s not.

If You Liked This Movie, Try These:

• Death Sentence
• The Bourne Identity
• Commando